Talkin' 'Bout My Potty-Mouthed Generation

Warning: The following blog entry contains language some may find offensive.

During television commercials, I usually get up for a snack, a stretch, or any little diversion that allows me to avoid watching the ads. But sometimes, I feel too pooped to exert the energy required for standing. So I sit there and just let my eyes glaze over for the four minutes of commercial agony.

I was attempting to ignore a Kia commercial when my ears perked up at the words "kick ass." I couldn't believe a commercial would use the a-word, so I pressed rewind on the Tivo remote. Sure enough, there it was. That same night, I watched a commercial suggesting I drink Pepsi while naked, and a Nike spot that praised "boobs" (of the female variety, not the British one). In another, a pre-teen spells out "OMG" in a Cingular commercial. (The ad translated her acronym to "Oh my gosh," though that usage of God's name is rarely softened on television.)

While I'm not surprised by the words used in the commercials--anything goes on TV these days, right?--I was shocked by the tone used for the words. It was commonplace. Natural. Normal and informal. References to bottoms and breasts were spoken as if the words had been "weather" or "mayonnaise."

Seems my generation considers many naughty words to be everyday language. I recently attended a young-adult church event where the speaker was a pastor who used such colorful language as "heck," "PO'ed," and "crappy." Nowadays, I guess those aren't considered swears anymore. And honestly, I probably wouldn't have blinked twice at the pastor's language. Except that night, I was sitting next to my mom. I saw her wince every time the pastor used a bit of colorful language. Afterward, I asked her what she thought of the pastor's presentation. "I guess I'm used to people talking that way these days," she said with a sigh. "But it makes me sad to hear it from a pastor."

Of George Carlin's 1972 list of "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television," one word, "piss," is now commonly used by, um, just about everyone. Including that young pastor. And me. I work with teenagers, so I make every effort to watch my language in front of them. But I've noticed how some of the more widely used potty words have slipped out when the students aren't around. I've said, "I'm pissed off" and "I feel like crap." I've said, "That's so gay" and "He's a retard." My current fav is "Dangit!"

I've tried to clean up my act, and it's really been difficult for me to stop swearing and making deprecating remarks because I enjoy them so much. I like to use this language because it provides a quick release of emotion. Since I don't usually swear, these words get people's attention. Others are quickly clued in I either want to talk about an issue, or I definitely don't want to talk about it.

It would be easy to dismiss, figuring, "Hey, what's the big deal? It's not like I'm dropping the f-bomb, or even the s-word." Yet, I'm troubled by my own swearing on many levels. It bothers me because I'm a writer and those saying don't make any literal sense. (Excrement doesn't have any feelings, emotional or physical, to be sure.) It bothers me because I'm relatively intelligent: My brain works well enough to churn out words better suited to express myself. It bothers me because I'm representing a trend I hate: using slang just because everyone else uses it.

And it greatly bothers me because I'm well aware of what the Bible says about speech: "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" (Ephesians 4:29, NIV). I love the simplicity of the CEV translation: "Stop all your dirty talk. Say the right thing at the right time and help others by what you say."

My use of profanity is always negative and helps no one. In fact, my swears probably hurt people. While it was no biggie to me when that young pastor said he was "PO'ed," his word choice sure made my mom feel sad.

As a youth leader, I know it's important to guard my words. Some students from our youth group regularly say, "Oh my G--!" Except they use God's whole name. Meanwhile, I'm so offended by taking the Lord's name in vain I refuse to even type out the saying. This is offensive to God, and the Bible is clear about this (Exodus 20:7).

I could probably make a strong case for the difference between swears involving bodily functions and blasphemous ones. But before I can dismiss my poo synonyms as benign, I have to think, "Can my teenage students really differentiate between my use of "crap" or "dang," and their use of "Oh my G--!" Probably not.

So rather than defending my words, I'll try to take 1 Corinthians 8 to heart. In that chapter, Paul discusses whether Christians should eat meat that had been offered in the temples of other gods. Paul probably shocked a lot of people by saying it was OK to eat this meat. At the same time, he cautions that one's actions can negatively affect others: "Don't cause problems for someone with a weak conscience, just because you have the right to eat anything. ... Suppose a person with a weak conscience sees you and decides to eat food that has been offered to idols. Then what you know has destroyed someone Christ died for. When you sin by hurting a follower with a weak conscience, you sin against Christ."

Then Paul brings it home by pledging to change his own behavior: "So if I hurt one of the Lord's followers by what I eat, I will never eat meat as long as I live."

I'd like to believe it's OK for me to use little swears like "crap" because it seems insignificant--many people don't even consider it a swear. Here's the thing: Why would I want to put myself in the position of having to explain myself to God or others? Would I drink half a glass of wine in front of an alcoholic, then explain, "I'm drinking just this small amount because I won't get drunk and I can enjoy it without going crazy." 'Course not. It's selfish and disrespectful. Just because I have the right to behave a certain way doesn't mean I should do it.

We use swears to express our own negative emotions or to insult other people. Maybe we use them because it's easier than discussing what's troubling us, easier than trying to tell a friend how they've hurt us. Maybe the swears protect us by pushing people away rather than letting them in through disclosing our deepest feelings. Sometimes, they just make us feel cool--we're on board with the latest foul lingo that's edgy yet can be used in public.

Personally, I'd rather not hear, "Oh my G--!" everywhere I go. I'd rather not see the day when 7-year-olds are casually saying the f-word on TV. Maybe it won't make any difference whether I stop saying "crap." But maybe it will. At the very least, it will make my mom happy.

If Paul was willing to go without a whole food group, I guess I can keep trying to hold my tongue.

To ponder:
1) Do you think there's a difference between expletives about God, hell, bodily functions, etc.?

2) Why do you think our society swears more now than in past generations?

3) Holly sez: "It's really been difficult for me to stop swearing and making deprecating remarks because I enjoy them so much." What things in your life are you trying to let go of? Why do you think you hold on to them? How do they seem to benefit you?

More:
Aw, Shucks: Are Americans Getting More Swearful?

Christians & Atheists Debate Existence of God on Tonight's 'Nightline'

Think carefully--this is so important. Please don't look at this as simply a debate to see who's going to win a theological discussion here. Look at this as an opportunity to help you make a personal decision about what you will believe about God."

--Actor Kirk Cameron, on the upcoming "Face Off" debate on ABC's Nightline. Cameron and evangelist Ray Comfort debate the existence of God with two atheist/agnostic members of the Rational Response Squad tonight on Nightline. Portions of the debate are currently available on ABC's website; portions will air on the show tonight. The entire debate is supposed to be available online tomorrow. There are already more than 1,200 comments on the website, and the piece hasn't aired yet.

Holly sez:
I've watched the clips from the debate and found it to be exhausting. While I enjoy debates, I usually don't find much that's personally productive. I'm sure there are people who have the gift of debate, who are able to use it as a way to convince others of their faith. I'm not one of those people. I like discussions, where two folks are trying to get to the bottom of their thoughts and feelings. For me, debate is about pushing power around. For me, discussion is about making myself vulnerable. I do much better at the latter!

Still, I gotta admire Cameron and Comfort for going on mainstream TV to share their faith. It will cause a lot of people to think deeply, if only for a few minutes. If you watch the debate, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Holly Gets an Award--Yay!

Got some exciting news today. I was recognized in the Evangelical Press Association's (EPA) annual awards contest. They awarded me fourth place in the Freelance Article category for "Unearthing Unearthly TV," an article which appeared in the Sept/Oct 2006 issue of Today's Christian Woman magazine. This is my second EPA award.

I didn't expect to win, so this was a nice surprise today. (No, I don't get any money. I don't get a trophy. I do get a groovy little award certificate!)

Iraq Church Leader Reflects on Life in Baghdad; PLUS: More Tangerines!

The church is clearly the most wonderful church I've ever been part of. Everything might be terrible on the outside. But inside, the worship is incredible. The children are amazing. We've had 11 of our staff killed in the past year. Our lay pastor was kidnapped last week. So everything is terrible outside. But inside [the church]--just great."

--Canon Andrew White, rector of the 1,300 member Anglican church in Baghdad, speaking on PBS's Religion & Ethics NewsWeekly. White, who is also president of the Foundation for Relief and Reconciliation in the Middle East, says if troops left the area now, violence would escalate. He asked for patience and a continued commitment to bringing peace to the region. White's own commitment has been to stay on in Baghdad despite bombings, kidnappings, death threats and his own struggle with multiple sclerosis. The U.S. Commission on International Religious Freedom recently added Iraq to its watch list of countries where religious freedom is threatened.

Full Story:
Canon Andrew White on Iraq

Holly sez:
"Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him." (Psalm 37:8)

I recently wrote about how some tangerines taught me to take a closer look at what God has given me. I'd been given some ugly tangerines, which also happened to be the best ones I'd ever tasted in my life.

Last week, I walked into my local produce store and found more ugly tangerines, pictured right. The ridiculously high price ($2.99 a pound!) and my past experience with ugly tangerines were the only clues these might be really good. The rest of the citrus in the store was selling for less than 80 cents a pound.

It seemed no one was buying the ugly, expensive tangerines. I must have looked like a goofball as I stood in front of the bin, filling up my bag with them. I wondered, Would people notice I was buying them? Would they give them a try based on how many I'd bought?

I'd never seen ugly tangerines in any store, so the fact they were in the entryway of the store where I regularly shop alerted me: This was one of those God moments. I needed to pay attention.

On Saturday afternoon, I heard the above quote from Iraq church leader Andrew White. And on Sunday morning, my pastor spoke about how his wife had long begged God not to send her to Africa. She just returned from a Sudan trip, and she'd absolutely loved the people and wanted to remain in Africa. (Amusingly, she also didn't want to marry a pastor--they've been married seven years.)

As my pastor explained it, we're often afraid of God's will. Perhaps we're afraid he doesn't have our best interests in mind. Or that he doesn't really understand us. So when we ask him to assist with change in our lives, we add in, "Change me God, but just don't do it that way!" My pastor challenged whether we really believe Romans 8:28: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

Admittedly, I often don't trust God. I've had moments of blaming him. I sometimes wonder, Do you even know me, God? And are you really good?

When I received those first ugly tangerines, they were a free gift. It was easy to take them, even ugly as they were. I figured I could always throw them out later. When I saw the ones for $2.99, the high price did make me question: Will these be any good, or am I just fooling myself? Am I willing to pay this price?

They were excellent. Still, every time I see ugly tangerines, I know I'll still wonder, Are they worth it? By experiencing a good flavored tangerine, it will become easier for me to buy them next time, to take the chance and make the investment. I hope my faith works the same way. I hope--through acknowledging God knows more than I do--that my experiences will lead me to choose his way over mine more easily in the future.

My pastor says we're not going to get closer to God through a how-to book, systematic religious practices, or some life plan. Rather, our goal should be this: to develop a relationship with God. And relationships are about building trust, right? Seems we don't experience trust and comfort at first in any relationship. Perhaps we never experience it completely.

Honestly, I'll know I'll continue to ask those questions: God, will following you be worth it? Will you really work everything out in the way that's best for me? I don't like having those questions, but I do love how God's answers to me have so far been: "Yes."

To ponder:
1) Is is easy or difficult for you to trust God? Think about the times you feel God has been there for you. Think about the times you feel God has let you down. Try to be honest with God about your feelings on both.

2) What questions do you have about God? Do these questions ever scare you?

3) Do you believe there's a place for doubt in your faith?

4) Does your investment in God seem worth it? Are there times when the price seems too high? What do you do at those moments?

Higher Learning: Interest in Religion Growing Among Students

There is probably more active religious life now than there has been in 100 years."

--Peter J. Gomes, the preacher at Harvard University, speaking about religious interest among students. Gomes, who has been at Harvard for the past 37 years, remembers how in previous years, religious students were looked down upon and considered not very bright.

A survey by the Higher Education Research Institute at the University of California, Los Angeles, found more than two-thirds of 112,000 freshmen surveyed in 2004 said they prayed, and almost 80 percent believed in God. Almost half of the respondents said they wanted to grow spiritually.

FULL STORY:
Matters of Faith Find a New Prominence on Campus

"The Secret" Versus The Bible

I was talking with some friends about how New Age concepts and lingo are now woven into pop culture. People use words like "finding inner peace," "having a personal mantra," "the power within," "higher self," "positive/negative energy," and "karma" all the time. I suspect many Christians have read or are reading New Age/metaphysical material and don't even know it. As a Christian with a New Age past, I'm hypersensitive to spotting New Age references. My friends asked me, "How can you tell if something contains New Age ideas?"

Honestly, it can be pretty difficult. In 1995, I was desperately seeking a way to have a relationship with God. I came across a copy of The Celestine Prophecy on the clearance shelf at my college bookstore. I'd vaguely remembered hearing this book had deep spiritual insights, so I bought it. And when I began to read it, I couldn't put it down. This is the answer to all my questions! This will fix all my problems, I believed. At some point, the book became too incredible to sound credible. So I flipped to the front cover. I was devastated to find out it was a work of fiction. I immediately stopped reading the book, then threw it in the dumpster because I didn't want anyone else to be deceived as I'd been. (This makes me smile now--I wasn't a Christian at the time, and if I hadn't noticed it was fiction, I would have read it cover to cover. I believe God stopped me from putting my faith in that book!)

Though I was raised in a Christian home, I never would have guessed The Celestine Prophecy had a New Age bent. That's largely because I didn't know what "New Age" meant. I had no previous exposure to it, no frame of reference for such concepts. Additionally, I didn't know Scripture well enough to compare the Bible with New Age ideas.

These days, publications with ideas like The Celestine Prophesy are marketed not as fiction, but as serious theories that any educated person should consider. Scary stuff! The latest piece of "soft" New Age material I've encountered is The Secret, a DVD and book that's based on the Law of Attraction (check out my entry, "Is the Real 'Secret' that Some People Are Better Than Others?" for an explaination of the Law of Attraction). By "soft," I mean it isn't blatantly New Age, and I can understand why Christians are unknowingly buying it. Here are some common identifiers of New Age material:

• New Age publications are often marketed as "self-help," "spirituality," or "philosophy."
  
  
• Take note of any "experts" who are quoted. In The Secret, these include a Feng Shui consultant, a visionary, a metaphysician, and several philosophers. The first three have straightforward titles, so it's that last group--the philosophers--that makes me raise an eyebrow. Titles can be intentionally vague. A label like "philosopher"--or "teacher," "counselor," or "minister"--can be used to make someone sound intellectual and reputable. Go beyond their title and research their school, organization, or religious affiliation.
  
  
• New Age concepts often begin with a logical, common activity, such as adopting a positive attitude or setting goals for yourself. These everyday ideas are then infused with power (such as The Secret's assertion your thoughts control and cause what happens in the physical world). The New Age idea is: You can control your life and everything around you.
  
  
• New Agers believe there are god-like powers within humans that can be unlocked through meditation and other practices. God's role is either minimized or overlooked. New Agers are told to have inward gratitude, rather than thanking God. Thoughts and meditation are usually internal rather than directed to God as a conversation with him. If God (or a higher power) is mentioned in New Age thought, God is seen as something man should control or possess.
  
  
• New Agers often position themselves as being more tolerant than Christians with their idea "all paths lead to God." In truth, they don't view all paths as the same distance: Some people move faster toward their New Age goals of self-actualization, enlightenment or nirvana--thus, some paths must be superior. Though a primary concept in New Age thought is to make perfection available to everyone, there is a definite spiritual hierarchy (consider how Buddhist monks are viewed). In Eastern and New Age thought, some folks are considered spiritually far superior, largely because they meditate more often or "try harder" to reach their spiritual goals. In fact, much of the criticism about The Secret has come from New Agers who think the program doesn't go far enough--that attaining such power takes a lot more effort.
  
  
• New Age statements can sound almost exactly like verses from the Bible. Similarly, the New Age ideas that "we are all gods" and there's a "power within" can sound a lot like the way Christians describe the Holy Spirit.

Here are some quotes from The Secret (DVD version) from several sources in the film. Compare them with these Bible verses (if Bible version isn't listed, it's NIV).

Secret Quote: "The power within you is greater than the power that's in the world."

1 John 4:4b, (NIV): "... the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."

1 John 4:1-4 (CEV): "Dear friends, don't believe everyone who claims to have the Spirit of God. Test them all to find out if they really do come from God. Many false prophets have already gone out into the world, and you can know which ones come from God. His Spirit says that Jesus Christ had a truly human body. But when someone doesn't say this about Jesus, you know that person has a spirit that doesn't come from God and is the enemy of Christ. You knew that this enemy was coming into the world and now is already here. Children, you belong to God, and you have defeated these enemies. God's Spirit is in you and is more powerful than the one that is in the world."
(emphasis mine--it is God's Spirit in us, not some generic "power," and we do not control the Holy Spirit)

Secret Quote: "There is no blackboard in the sky on which God has written your purpose, your mission in life. ... Your purpose is what you say it is. Your mission is the mission you give yourself."

Romans 12:1-2 (NLT): "And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." (emphasis mine)

Psalm 139:3-4: "You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD."

Jeremiah 29:11: " 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' "

Deuteronomy 13:4-5 (CEV): "You must be completely faithful to the LORD. Worship and obey only the LORD and do this with fear and trembling, because he rescued you from slavery in Egypt. If a prophet tells you to disobey the LORD your God and to stop worshiping him, then that prophet is evil and must be put to death.

Secret Quote: "Your life will be what you create it as, and no one will stand in judgment of it, now or ever."

Matthew 7:21-23: "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!' "

Matthew 25:31-34, 41: "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world." (31-34) ... "Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.' " (41)

Secret Quote: "You have God potential and power."
Secret Quote: "You are eternal life. You are source energy. You are God manifested in human form."

1 John 5:20 (CEV): "We know that Jesus Christ the Son of God has come and has shown us the true God. And because of Jesus, we now belong to the true God who gives eternal life."

Exodus 20:1-7: "And God spoke all these words: 'I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand {generations} of those who love me and keep my commandments. You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.' " (emphasis mine)

John 14:6: "Jesus answered, 'I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.' "

John 3:36 (CEV): [John the Baptist speaking] "Everyone who has faith in the Son has eternal life. But no one who rejects him will ever share in that life, and God will be angry with them forever."

Secret Quote: "It's not your job to change the world or the people around you. It's your job to go with the flow of the universe and to celebrate it inside of the world that exists."

Matthew 28:19-20: "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

Acts 1:6-8: "So when they met together, they asked him, 'Lord, are you at this time going to restore the kingdom to Israel?' He said to them: 'It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.' "

Daniel 12:3 (CEV): "Everyone who has been wise will shine as bright as the sky above, and everyone who has led others to please God will shine like the stars."

Hebrews 11:1-2, 29-30, 32-34(CEV): "Faith makes us sure of what we hope for and gives us proof of what we cannot see. It was their faith that made our ancestors pleasing to God." (1-2) ... "Because of their faith, the people walked through the Red Sea on dry land. But when the Egyptians tried to do it, they were drowned. God's people had faith, and when they had walked around the city of Jericho for seven days, its walls fell down." (29-30) ... "What else can I say? There isn't enough time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel, and the prophets. Their faith helped them conquer kingdoms, and because they did right, God made promises to them. They closed the jaws of lions and put out raging fires and escaped from the swords of their enemies. Although they were weak, they were given the strength and power to chase foreign armies away." (32-34)

Matthew 5:14-16 (CEV): "You are like light for the whole world. A city built on top of a hill cannot be hidden, and no one would light a lamp and put it under a clay pot. A lamp is placed on a lampstand, where it can give light to everyone in the house. Make your light shine, so that others will see the good that you do and will praise your Father in heaven."

Life Lessons from a Tangerine

A week ago, my parents' neighbor brought a big bag of tangerines to their house. I love-love-love tangerines, so I was thrilled to be visiting my folks on the day their neighbor gave them the fruit. Salivating, I only half-listened as the neighbor explained, "These tangerines aren't pretty, but they are super flavorful and they don't have any seeds." He'd picked them from a tree at his relative's home in San Diego.

Later that afternoon, I plucked a tangerine out of the plastic grocery bag. True to what he'd apologetically stated, the tangerines weren't pretty. In fact, they were downright ugly. They were tiny and shriveled. The rough, pock-marked peel hung loosely around the fruit inside. Ugh, I thought, if I'd seen these at a grocery store, I would have turned my nose up at them as if they were rotten!

But hey, these were tangerines (did I mention I love-love-love them?). And they were free. So I peeled back the loose skin, fully expecting maggots or worms to come crawling out. The fruit inside was small, but certainly not rancid or bug-ridden. Part of my brain even told me, "Wow, the skin peels away so easily, and the fruit inside doesn't squirt or bruise when I peel it." As I bit into that first section of tangerine, the tangy flavor and aroma hit me all at once. Truly, it was the best tangerine I'd ever tasted. And, true to the neighbor's word, it had no seeds!

Every tangerine in the bag was equally wonderful. I ran out of the fruit yesterday, so I went to Marina Farms, a little gourmet market that's touted as the having best produce in the Los Angeles area. Indeed, their fruits and veggies are quite good, so I figured I'd be able to find a comparable tangerine.

I spotted some tangerines that were so perfect, they looked plastic. The sign that hung above the fruit proclaimed, "Sweet tangerines from Spain!" I immediately knew I was going to be disappointed. And I was. The pristine skin was hard to peel. The perfectly formed fruit inside was firm, not soft and succulent like the San Diego tangerines. And while they tasted OK, the flavor was ho-hum in comparison.

After eating the Spanish tangerine, I felt unsatisfied. I longed for a bite of the ugly fruit. And I began to think of how I approach life with a limited perception. (Yes, I really do think about these weird correlations!) There are certain things I perceive as beautiful: having a fancy car, wearing spectacular clothes, working in a high-power job making tons of money. But I started to compare what I do have--the stuff God's actually given me--and I was surprised to find simplicity and humility are my biggest blessings. For example:

1) I drive a 9-year-old Ford Contour. It has a big dent in the door from where someone backed into it, and in the sunlight, you can see the number "911" scratched on the hood where someone vandalized it. Amazingly, my car gives me such peace. I never worry about getting a dent or having it stolen. Conversely, whenever I drive my husband's new luxury car--or even a nice rental vehicle--I'm stressed out to no end. I worry about dirtying or denting the nice car, or having it stolen. (Check out what Matthew 6:19-21 has to say about this.)

2) I don't have a lot of clothes, which works great for me. I can always find what I'm looking for in my closet, and I never have more than a few loads of laundry to wash. I give away stuff that doesn't fit me. I don't feel burdened to shop for clothes regularly, and I'm thrilled to buy a new item when an old one wears out. God seems to take care of that: I knew the days of my favorite pair of jeans were numbered, so I've been looking for new jeans for years. I've never found any until recently. A few days after I bought that wonderful new pair of jeans, the old ones ripped beyond repair. Thanks for the new jeans, God! (Matthew 6:28-34)

3) I've never had a high-paying, executive job. But I've always been blessed with work that's a total blast. Much of the work I currently do is unpaid. Admittedly, I'd like to be able to tell people I make six-figures and I'm a CEO or president or something. Yet I know God has blessed me with little stress and lots of support and positive feedback. I love doing the work he's given me. As a side note, God just gave me the perfect job for me! Beginning in June, I'll be regularly blogging for Today's Christian Woman magazine's online site. And you all know how much I love to blog--how awesome and perfect is that! (Colossians 3:23-24)

From the outside, our lives can seem like that San Diego tangerine: small, shriveled, insignificant, even ugly. I'm learning to look beyond the ideas in my head of what a "good" life is, and to expect great things from God even when I don't yet see the greatness. I can't wait to chow down on all the delicious treats God has in store for me.

To ponder:
1) What good things have you received from God that didn't look so good at first glance?

2) Consider the things you don't have. How is your seeming "lack" actually a blessing in disguise?

The Power of Pain

Kevin Robertson, the senior pastor of my church, was vomiting on an airplane yesterday. Kevin and his wife, Jennifer, are en route to an orphanage in Sudan to offer aid and assistance there.

For seven hours, a physician attempted to treat Kevin. When his plane landed in Kenya, he was rushed to an emergency room. Though his symptoms have subsided, the doctors couldn't determine the cause of his illness. Kevin planned to immediately continue on to Sudan, and as I type this, I wonder, Where in the world are Kevin and Jennifer? How are they doing?

I sent an email about Kevin to folks from our church at midnight last night. I've already gotten many replies, with people saying they're praying for the couple. And I've been praying for them throughout the day. I certainly would have prayed for Kevin and Jennifer if everything had gone according to plan. But admittedly, the fact they've hit a rough patch caused me to pay attention, and thus, pray a lot more.

Pain catches my attention. As evidenced by the emails I've received for Kevin and Jennifer, I'm not the only one who notices. Last September, I attended a youth workshop where the speaker, Christina DiMari, could barely stand up. She'd flown to Southern California from Kentucky, and just two days before the event, she'd been lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to an IV. She had to have surgery shortly after the event.

When I later interviewed Christina, she told me she'd been inspired by another woman's illness. Christian speaker and author Beth Moore had been scheduled to speak at Christina's church. When Beth became extremely ill just before the engagement, her doctor advised her to cancel the trip. But Beth, still hooked up to an IV, boarded the plane to Louisville anyway. She was so weak she couldn't stand up at Christina's church, and had to sit on a stool as she spoke. "That's all I could think of because I was so sick," Christina told me, referring to her own moment of illness at the youth workshop. "I kept thinking of Beth and how she'd just pushed through it."

When I looked at their lives,

I saw two people who hadn't

abandoned God when things

got tough. And I saw two people

God hadn't abandoned.

Shortly after my meeting with Christina, I was facing my own pain. I lost part of my eyesight, and my physician told me it wouldn't return and there were no treatments. As I contemplated living the remainder of my life with that vision impairment, my thoughts turned to two friends--I'll call them Tom and Terry. Both are in their early 30s, and both are living with illness: Tom has multiple sclerosis, Terry has diabetes. Just knowing about their illnesses gave me hope that I could live with my vision loss. When I looked at their lives, I saw two people who hadn't abandoned God when things got tough. And I saw two people God hadn't abandoned.

I struggle with the idea of pain. Questions constantly fill my mind: Why did God choose to heal my eyesight? Why does God allow my friends Tom and Terry to be ill? Why does God allow people who are doing his work--like Beth, Christina, and Kevin--to suffer, even as they're serving him?

God hasn't given me answers to those questions. But he has stirred some deep thoughts. When I've seen people in pain, I've noticed their perspective changes. I've seen them cling to God. I've seen God give them enough strength to keep going. It was their pain that initially made me take notice, then their faith that held my attention. To an even greater extent, my own pain from my eyesight problems brought a renewed reliance on God, a deep gratitude for the good things God's given me, and a stronger sense of empathy for others.

Looking at some verses in Psalm 30, I realized the psalmist had been through depression, illness, and mourning. Painful stuff. The psalmist fully recognizes God has taken away that pain:

"I will exalt you, O LORD, for you lifted me out of the depths ..." (v.1)

"O LORD my God, I called to you for help and you healed me." (v.2)

"You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy ... " (v.11)

Pain is a human experience we've all had, yet so few of us discuss with others. I'm happy when I can rejoice with friends about the good things in their lives. But it's when they share their pain that I feel most akin to them. Despite the thousands of years and cultural differences that separate me and the psalmist, I can look at those verses and say, "Yup, I feel you." Additionally, that presence of pain amplifies the contrast of joy in the verses. The loss was big, but God's touch was way bigger.

I'm praying Kevin and Jennifer are healthy and safely moving forward on their journey. And I'm praying that God uses their moments of pain and turns them around to a big, powerful joy, like only God can do.

To ponder:
1) What are some moments of pain you've experienced?

2) Do you tend to talk about your painful experiences? Why or why not?

3) Do you see benefits to talking about your pain? What physical, mental, and spiritual benefits have you seen?

4) What are some positive outcomes of painful experiences you've had? Would omitting the pain change that experience?