Wednesday, April 22, 2009

A Time to Mourn

Holly's latest blog entry on Today's Christian Woman magazine's website is now up:

We laugh together, play together, and celebrate together. Why is it so difficult to cry together?

Within the past week, I lost two friends. One was a Christian, a member of my church. She committed suicide. The other was an atheist, a high-school buddy. I found out that she died of a drug overdose.

Mourning is a struggle for me, primarily because it’s difficult to tell others I’m sad. I’m afraid they won’t understand or won’t care. So I’ve been walking around with a pleasant expression on my face, telling people “I’m fine” when they ask, “How are you doing?”

I’m not fine. I’m angry with my friends who took their lives. Why did they give up? I’m angry with myself. Was there something more I could have done? I’m angry with God. Why, God, did you allow their pain to become unbearable? Why didn’t you send more help? Why didn’t you intervene? ...