H-n-T

Helpful Bible Reading Resource

2012-01-24T16:51:00.000-08:00

I've been using the Horner Bible reading plan for a couple months now and am very much enjoying this method of reading the Bible. A PDF of the plan is available free online: http://www.wbfva.org/files/professor_grant_horners_
bible_reading_system.pdf.

The method was devised by Grant Horner, who serves as a professor at The Master's College. It involves reading 10 chapters from throughout the Bible every day. The beauty of the system is that you read just ONE chapter from a book of the Bible, so you get a chance to read different styles of writing (e.g. historical record, personal letters, poetry, and more). Most beneficial, you can see the connectedness of the books of the Bible, as one big story that has a overseeing Author.

With this plan, every day you will read from:

the Gospels
the Pentateuch (Torah)
the Epistles (you'll usually read two chapters, one from two different Epistles)

"I Believe: What Every Kid Needs to Know About the Christian Faith"

2012-01-23T21:28:00.000-08:00

The curriculum I wrote, "I Believe: What Every Kid Needs to Know About the Christian Faith," is now available on BuildingChurchLeaders.com. It answers the question, "What do Christians believe?" using concepts from the Apostles' Creed. It includes 10 lessons along with a Leader's Guide with teaching ideas and activities. Some of the specific topics addressed include:

What does it mean to believe in God?
Why do Christians call God their “Father”?
Is there anything God can't do?
Why did Jesus have to die?
Did Jesus really come back to life?
Does Jesus have authority over me?
Why will I be judged? What have I done?
Why didn’t Jesus stay on earth?
Who is the Holy Spirit?
Why do Christians call each other “brother” and “sister”?
What do I need to do to be forgiven?
Could I really live forever?
How do I know if I’ll go to heaven?

If you have kids, work with youth, or would just like a quick refresher in how to explain Christian beliefs, check out this PDF download. It's selling for $19.95 and you can make up to 1,000 copies for your church or organization.

Encouraging Words from God's Word: 1 Cor. 15:58

2012-01-17T00:30:00.000-08:00

"Be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless." --1 Corinthians 15:58, NLT

I'd imagine that most Christians go through a season of discouragement, wondering, Why am I doing this? Does my work for God even matter? Does it make any difference?

I've asked these questions a lot. My blog is the perfect example of the downward spiral that can occur when I question the value of my work. I began blogging in 2006 and was consistent at posting weekly for three years. Then grad school kept me from writing regularly for a couple years. After graduation, my time seemed to fill up with a variety of other projects. Really, it was other excuses, driven by the question, Why should I keep writing about God and faith on a blog that nobody reads?Read more »

REVIEW: Take a Pass on "The Daniel Fast"

2012-01-16T21:53:00.001-08:00

Review of The Daniel Fast, Susan Gregory (Tyndale, 2010)

I requested The Daniel Fast because I’d been interested in the topic of fasting. The concept of a partial fast was intriguing, particularly since author Susan Gregory offered a “how to” that seemed more in-depth and extensive than anything I’d previously come across. (In hindsight, I realize this is probably because very little instruction is required for a “no food” plan, which is typically how fasting is discussed, while Susan’s book is largely about food preparation.)

But The Daniel Fast plan is not a Scripturally-based model for fasting. Rather, it’s a nutritional plan with the potential to have a spiritual component—I will further explain why that potential isn’t reached—catering to those who would like to adopt a vegetarian or vegan diet.

"How to Read the Bible" on BuildingChurchLeaders.com

2011-08-18T14:34:00.001-07:00

The curriculum I wrote, "How to Read the Bible" is now available on BuildingChurchLeaders.com.

If you have kids, work with youth, have friends who've asked, "What's the Bible about?" or would just like to read a quick overview of the Bible, check out this PDF download. It's selling for $14.95 (worth every penny!) and you can make up to 1,000 copies for your church or organization.

DESCRIPTION (from BuildingChurchLeaders.com)
As a curriculum for middle school students, "How to Read the Bible" clearly explains the different genres of God's Word so kids can better understand what they're reading and how to apply it to their daily lives. With examples and anecdotes all middle school students can relate to, this kid-friendly hermeneutics will help the ancient Scriptures come alive in new and exciting ways. And hands-on Bible studies flesh out and reinforce the principles being explored and taught. While this flexible curriculum can be given to highly motivated students for personal study, it's perfect for use in a small or large group setting. "How to Read the Bible" can also be a helpful supplement for your current catechism or Sunday school materials.

Are We Gossip Girls?

2011-06-21T12:59:00.000-07:00

Note: ABC network recently announced that it will change the title of its TV pilot Good Christian Bitches to Good Christian Belles. But this doesn’t change the content of the show or its characterization of Christian women. It’s like giving a garbage dump a dressed-up name, like “repository” or “treasure-trove,” and thinking folks won’t see what it is … anyhow, below are some thoughts I wrote about gossip in the church before the name change was announced.

Are We Gossip Girls?

Good Christian Bitches characterizes believers in an unfavorable (and partially true) light.
By Holly Vicente Robaina

When a friend told me about ABC’s plans for the pilot Good Christian Bitches, I was shocked. Based on Kim Gatlin’s book by the same title, the proposed show is about a divorcee who’s life becomes the hot topic for the local churchgoing gossipmongers. Several Christian organizations, including the Parents Television Council and the American Family Association, are pushing ABC to cancel the show.

I should say that I was doubly shocked: First, that any station would attempt use the b-word as part of a show’s title. And second, I felt ABC was taking a slap at me.

Why am I taking this personally? I wondered. The b-word had set me off, but it was the ordering of the words in the title that more deeply troubled me. I couldn’t pass it off as referring to nominal “Christians”—those who would self-label as believers, yet they haven’t made a commitment to obedience, submission, and the pursuit of holiness as Christ-followers. Rather, the title indicates that the show is about good Christian characters—presumably, true believers.

ABC’s writers could have chosen an ironic title, like “Good Christian Girls,” then filled the show with backbiting, judgmental characters. That would have annoyed me, but not stung in the way the actual title does. It’s the juxtaposition of “good Christian” with the b-word. The implication is that “bitch” is an accurate description of a good Christian woman.

In other words, it felt like ABC was telling me, “Admit it, Holly—you, like all Christian women, are a mean, gossipy girl. We’re just telling the truth and exposing Christians for what they really are—malicious, self-righteous [b-words].”

Thing is, I can’t blanketly declare that this is untrue. Christians have a reputation for discussing moral failings for the sole purpose of gossipy entertainment. And that isn’t just a false stereotype. For example, we Christian women sometimes put forth a holy purpose for sharing—such as prayer or organizing aid to meet someone’s need—and then spend more time talking about the needy person than addressing their need.

I’m certain that every true Christ-follower wants to avoid even the appearance of gossiping. So how do we become alert about the words slipping from our lips? And how do we keep gossip out of our churches?

A Natural Breeding Ground
We first have to acknowledge that the church is susceptible to gossip because of its structure. As one of my friends pointed out, gossip is promotional—it requires an audience and a meeting place where it may be promoted. So places where people gather regularly—schools, the workplace, gyms, and unfortunately, the church—are a natural breeding ground for it.

Second, every Christian woman needs to admit that she is capable of gossiping. We have the potential for committing any type of sin, including gossip. Rather than passing it off as, “I’m a Christian—I would never do that,” we need to recognize that our strength comes from God alone. We should regularly be praying that the Holy Spirit will allow us to speak only good words and will shut our mouths when needed. We should consistently be meditating on Scripture passages like Ephesians 4:29 and Philippians 4:8, and asking God to guard our mouths and minds.

And lastly, we must preserve the ability to speak frankly at church. The church is a place for confession and supplication. But too often, Christians keep mum about their struggles and needs because we’re afraid of being judged and becoming the focus of gossip. The sad result: Prayers are never spoken, healing never takes place, and needs go unmet.

My greatest moments of spiritual growth have occurred when I’ve shared my pain and shortcomings with other Christian women. My friend Trisha alerted me that the sleeplessness I’d been experiencing might be related to spiritual warfare. (I’d never considered this—and it was.) Yvonne prayed a bold prayer of healing after I lost part of my eyesight. (I wouldn’t have prayed this myself. My sight was restored.) And Kathryn is the trustworthy person I can run to whenever I need accountability. (She keeps my secret while praying for me and urging me to repent.)

So silence isn’t the answer. While we need to do away with gossip, we must maintain safe community and communication within the church.

To Share or Not to Share
Practically, what can we do to curtail gossip?

Gossip often hides behind the guise of prayer. In group settings, leaders should direct the group to spend more time praying, and less time discussing prayer requests. It’s a lot harder to gossip when we’re consciously including God in our conversation!

Individually, we need to consider: Are we really praying for others when they ask? When we get a prayer chain email or phone call, do we actually pray for the requests, or just digest them for personal enjoyment (Proverbs 18:8)?

And we Christian women should ask ourselves a few questions before sharing anything:

1) Should I be the one to share this? Perhaps it would be better if the information came from another source, such as the person who has the need, one of their family members or close friends, or a church leader.

2) Do I have permission to share this? Always ask the person who is sharing a need with you whether this may be shared with others, rather than assuming it’s OK to pass along the prayer request (Proverbs 11:13).

3) To what extent should I share? Stick to details that help others to pray. Omit any information that you wouldn’t include in a public prayer (Proverbs 20:19).

4) What do I hope to accomplish by sharing this information? There’s always a reason why we’re sharing something. Consider all of your intentions. Ask yourself if you’re in any way motivated by any of the following:

Comparing yourself with others
Convincing others to take sides
Expressing an opinion
Putting someone “in their place”
Shirking your responsibility for needed confrontation or restoration (e.g. triangulating)
To have something to say and be included in the group discussion
Getting the attention and admiration of others, as one who’s “in the know”
Proving that you’re a good listener
Trying to win friends
Demonstrating a connection to your church
Feeling like you have a purpose at your church

When we examine our words in this way, it may reveal areas of woundedness or lack in our own lives—we may be the one who truly needs prayer! We may discover unrecognized sin, such as a bias against someone that we hadn’t been aware of. We may find there’s a longing for connection or purpose that we need God to fill.

5) Do I need to share this for the safety of a friend or the church? If a friend expresses thoughts of suicide or appears to be a danger to others, obviously, we need to share their secret—with or without their permission (Leviticus 19:16b). Similarly, if you know a church member who is unwilling to ask for help in a financial crisis, or who is unrepentant for sin (Matthew 18:15-20), it isn’t gossip if you ask a pastor to intervene.

Good words build up the body of Christ. Let’s strive to be known for the wholesome talk that really does fill the church—our words of exhortation and compassion, motivated by love. Who knows—we might even inspire a television show about Christian women who love God and one another

Evidence for the Resurrection (in brief)

2011-04-25T14:03:00.000-07:00

Resurrection Info

Response to "A Defense of Abortion"

2011-01-29T12:48:00.000-08:00

A short response to Judith Jarvis Thomson’s “A Defense of Abortion” (http://spot.colorado.edu/~heathwoo/Phil160,Fall02/thomson.htm):

JJT lays a weak foundation by beginning with anomalies as a defense of choice for all. Her first example, cases of rape, is often the first argument pro-choice advocates use because they know people are moved by cases of rape. Rape is alarmingly common. This was my greatest concern when I was contemplating the arguments surrounding abortion: I know dozens of women, including many close friends, who have been raped or sexually assaulted. I was sexually assaulted in high school. The thought of a victim being faced with a pregnancy that has been forced on her is horrifying.

However, pregnancy resulting from rape is extremely rare because:
(1) Many American women use ongoing birth control methods (the pill, IUD).
(2) For most women, there is a very narrow window in which they can become pregnant each month. For the most fertile women on the planet, it’s five to six days; average is perhaps two to four. (This is why couples are said to be “trying” to get pregnant; the average period for “trying” is having sex daily for five to nine months, based on the woman’s age, before a pregnancy is achieved.) Add in the many probability-lowering factors: sperm quantity/speed, health of the egg that month, the fact that eggs don’t always get fertilized even on a “fertile” day and that fertilized eggs often don’t implant, and that trauma increases the likelihood of miscarriage.
(3) rape victims who report the crime usually receive medical treatments to lessen the possibility of implantation of a potentially fertilized egg.

JJT’s second example, of pregnancy presenting a threat to the mother’s life, is also extremely rare. Such cases most often end in miscarriage long before any serious threat presents. More importantly, few pro-life advocates take the position that the at-risk mother must carry the pregnancy to term. Rather, a more consistent pro-life position is to assert that since all life is valuable, the mother’s life is no less valuable than the child’s. Since JJT is prone to using absurd, unrelated illustrations, I’ll use one of my own: Two construction workers are impaled through the chest by a steel rod. While surgeons could save the worker in the front by getting him immediately into surgery, the pressure of his body is sustaining the one in the back. The front worker’s choice will decide who lives.

Compare this with another silly illustration: A man is walking down the street and someone is blocking his path. He yells out, “I have an appointment and I must get there, so you need to move now!” But the pedestrian blocking the path doesn’t move. So the walking man pulls out a revolver and shoots the other pedestrian dead.

What’s my point? Anyone can create a ridiculous illustration (or even a plausible-yet-unrelated one) as a defense. It’s very dangerous to base one’s stance on unrelated scenarios such as the sudden appearance of a violinist that’s surgically attached to your body, or expanding babies that live in teeny, tiny homes and grow so quickly that they crush the homeowner inside. Or people who shoot pedestrians who don’t move quickly enough down the street. I would submit that the topic is far too serious—both pro-choice and pro-life advocates recognize that it’s a moral issue—to build one’s argument largely based on a string of analogies. Do coats and boxes of chocolate really have a direct correlation with mothers and fetuses?

I’d submit that analogies are helpful for explanation, but hardly the building blocks of good argumentation.

Moving on … a precedent shouldn’t be established merely based on anomalies. (Note that the Mosaic law takes anomalies into account, e.g. the norm is to rest on the Sabbath, but if your ox falls into a pit during the Sabbath, it’s good and right to do whatever work is needed to aid the animal.) We base our laws on the norm; we alter our laws to account for extenuating circumstances.

In any case, the above examples, of rape cases and of the at-risk mother, cannot in any sense be considered the norm in regard to abortion. As JJT has constructed her argument, using anomalies as the foundation and building upon that with piecemeal analogy, I find it unsubstantial and unpersuasive.

Aside from what JJT has presented, more important questions have been raised: What is the moral position for a Christian in regard to these rare cases? Is it morally permissible for a woman to terminate a pregnancy that results from rape? Or if her life is in danger? Realizing the limits of my own knowledge on these topics, I would refer those interested in more insight to Scott Rae, a philosophy professor and an ethicist who consults for hospitals on topics such as abortion, euthanasia, fertility treatments, and stem-cell research. He discusses some specific scenarios in his book “Moral Choices,” and I’m sure I could get a list of resource readings from him if anyone is interested.

Downtime

2010-12-14T23:20:00.000-08:00

Feeling blue this season? Me, too. But for once, my primary goal isn't to get happy again. Instead, I'm most interested in finding out what God is teaching me through my sadness. Read more about my thoughts on this topic on Kyria.com:

Downtime

Could God have a sanctifying purpose for the sadness I feel?

Earlier this week, I realized I've been really depressed. I had no appetite. I couldn't sleep at night—though I did manage to sleep all day a few times. It felt like my greatest accomplishment was to get out of bed, take a shower, and dress in something other than my bathrobe. ...

FULL ARTICLE:
http://kyria.com/topics/hottopics/selfcare/downtime.html

Youth Survey: Win a Book!

2010-12-09T00:40:00.000-08:00

CALLING ALL STUDENTS, ages 13 to 21: Fill out this very short survey by Friday, Dec. 10, and you could win an autographed book of your choice by author Shannon Primicerio!

(The survey is for me, by the way, to aid in some youth curriculum I'm working on--thanks for your help!)

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/VQ2ZKLM

Strictly for the Hard Core: What Happens When We Die?

2010-06-22T16:04:00.000-07:00

This is a revision of a research paper I wrote. I chose the topic after a Christian friend passed away, which caused me to think on questions such as: Since death is the punishment for sin, and God has forgiven the believer's sin, then why does a believer still die? Is death any different for the believer?

This short paper summarizes the thinking of some the great church minds including Augustine, John Calvin, William Shedd, and Norman Geisler on the origin of death, the difference between physical and spiritual death, and why the believer need not fear death.

Holly's Complete TCW Posts Now Online

2010-02-13T16:52:00.000-08:00

As some of you know, Today's Christian Woman closed up shop last fall. Since the site no longer exists, I've posted the blogs I wrote for them on my site, http://hollyvicenterobaina.blogspot.com/. Enjoy the old stuff while I finish up my master's in Christian Apologetics at Biola University. New stuff TK soon!

FREE Advent Audio Devotionals

2009-12-18T12:18:00.001-08:00

These short audio devotions for Advent were created by Marina Christian Fellowship in Los Angeles, CA. They include Scripture readings and music: www.marinachristian.org/tomorrowiwillcome_1

There's more info about the devotions and the folks who put them together on the web page. My sister is the female vocalist.

Who Am I? I Forgot ...

2009-11-04T13:20:00.000-08:00

Holly's latest piece is now on Kyria.com:

Who Am I? I Forgot ...
When we let important stuff slide, our true identity slips away.

(If you're not able to access this, email me at contacthnt@gmail.com.)

The Power of Positive Spanking

2009-10-23T15:25:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted on my personal blog for a couple months, and (thankfully, I guess) a few folks took notice, asking, "No bloggy? What gives?"

For starters, the magazine I regularly blogged for (Today's Christian Woman) folded a couple months ago. But I'd be lying if I said that's why I haven't written anything lately.

I'm also finishing up a master's degree in Christian Apologetics--I'm set to graduate next May. But I'd also be lying if I said that's why I haven't written.

In truth, the well has been dry. And not because I didn't want to write.

My Source had cut me off.

For the past few months, I've been focused on everything except God. I still knew I loved God, but my identity in Christ had gotten mushed down beneath the busy work of everyday life. Every prayer was beginning with the phrase, "I'm sorry I haven't spent time with you, God." And ending with the words, "I'm going to make time for you, real soon. Just not right now."

I do believe God takes away a person's ministry if they're not focused on him. (After all, if you're gonna be in the position of telling other people about God, you've got to be dedicated to knowing him yourself, right?) I've seen God give me a "time out," time and time again. And I've seen God do this to other folks.

I knew I was being disciplined, and that I should recognize. But frankly, I wanted to be naughty. I was enjoying a period of having every thought in my head be about ME. I was focused on the things I thought I wanted to accomplish. Thinking about how to make the future a happy one for myself. And patting myself on the back for what I've done in the past. In short, I'd mentally made myself the center of the world.

Fortunately, my Father is willing to dish out some tough love. He sent some folks to spiritually smack me upside the head (and I doubt they even knew they were doing so). And he reminded me that I don't know what's best for me--my goals, I realized, really didn't suit me at all. He showed me that my self-centered, self-congratulatory attitude was causing me to look inward for community (um, it isn't there), and to pull away from authentic relationships. God once again proved that my idea of "happy" was making me miserable.

I'm beginning to deeply appreciate God's discipline. I know that if he didn't love me, he'd let me wander off. But he seeks me out and draws me back every time. As CCM artist Michael Tait once put it in his song, God's love is "stronger than gravity," ever pulling us back to the Source of everything that's good.

And I'm learning discipline isn't just about punishment. God has taken me through some emotionally difficult times so I'll learn to trust and rely on him. He's put circumstances in my life to teach me how to be more Christ-like. I've experienced his love as my patient schoolmaster.

Next week, I'll post the link to an article I wrote for Kyria.com on H-n-T. It explains a bit more about these spiritual struggles I've been having. Please pray with me as I wait on God for his direction, and for me as God cleans me up from the mud puddle o' self-centeredness that I've been rolling around in.

Too Sexy for Church?

2009-07-31T15:07:00.000-07:00

Holly's latest blog entry on Today's Christian Woman magazine's website is now up:

Too Sexy for Church?
Struggling with the "appropriateness" of my outfits

Ever have one of those days where you open your closet, and there isn't one appropriate outfit to wear? That's been my experience every Sunday morning for the past month. Suddenly, I can’t seem to find anything to wear to church. Skirts that I've worn for months or years now seem too short, too tight, too thin, or too flashy. Every top seems either to show too much skin, or have too much detail around the neckline, or just to fit me a little too nicely. And in my mind, my shoes are either too high, too strappy, or too revealing, what with my heel being exposed and all. I’ve also eschewed wearing anything with sequins, beading, lace, bows, ruffles, or elaborate stitching—because in my mind, these trims now scream, “Look at me! I’m excessive and flamboyant!”

In short, I’d concluded I didn’t have any “appropriate” worship-wear. Just as I planned to run out and buy a whole new wardrobe, a thought hit me: What has happened that’s made me now perceive my clothes as too showy and sexy? ...

FULL STORY: http://blog.todayschristianwoman.com/walkwithme/2009/07/too_sexy_for_church.html

A Christian Sense of Humor

2009-07-06T12:49:00.000-07:00

Holly's latest blog entry on Today's Christian Woman magazine's website is now up:

A Christian Sense of Humor
When others insult Christianity, should we laugh, be silent, or get mad?

Did you hear about the so-called Christian group that’s protesting the upcoming video game “Dante’s Inferno”? Claiming they were from a church in Ventura County, California, about 20 members of S.A.V.E.D. (an acronym for “Salvationists Against Virtual and Eternal Damnation”) handed out pamphlets outside of the Los Angeles Convention Center during the Electronic Entertainment Expo last month and held picket signs that read, “Hell is not a game” and “Trade in your PlayStation for a PrayStation.” The group also posted a website and YouTube videos.

I should tell you right now: The whole thing is a publicity stunt for the video game company Electronic Arts. Yet two reputable newspapers, the Los Angeles Times and the San Jose Mercury-News, initially reported this “protest” as actual, factual news. Online posts and blogs on the topic indicate a number of folks are taking it seriously. Regardless of whether they’re in on the joke or not, many are offering the same comment: “Can’t Christians take a joke?”

Once again, Christianity’s been portrayed as laughable. ...

FULL STORY: http://blog.todayschristianwoman.com/walkwithme/2009/07/a_christian_sense_of_humor.html

Ultimatum to the GOP

2009-06-16T16:08:00.000-07:00

Holly's latest blog entry on Today's Christian Woman magazine's website is now up:

Ultimatum to the GOP
Liberty University boots Democratic club; inspires Holly to take a stand.

I’m publically issuing this ultimatum to the Republican Party: Take a pro-life stand in a big, visible way, or I’m leaving.

TCW readers will recall that just two months ago, I suggested Christians reserve discussion on abortion for the right time and place. I’m seizing the opportunity presented by a Gallup poll conducted this May, which found 51 percent of surveyed Americans identify as “pro-life,” while 42 percent identify as pro-choice. Get this: It’s the first time there’s been a pro-life majority since Gallup began conducting the poll in 1995. ...

FULL STORY: http://blog.todayschristianwoman.com/walkwithme/2009/06/ultimatum_to_the_gop.html

A Time to Mourn

2009-04-22T10:15:00.000-07:00

Holly's latest blog entry on Today's Christian Woman magazine's website is now up:

A Time to Mourn

We laugh together, play together, and celebrate together. Why is it so difficult to cry together?

Within the past week, I lost two friends. One was a Christian, a member of my church. She committed suicide. The other was an atheist, a high-school buddy. I found out that she died of a drug overdose.

Mourning is a struggle for me, primarily because it’s difficult to tell others I’m sad. I’m afraid they won’t understand or won’t care. So I’ve been walking around with a pleasant expression on my face, telling people “I’m fine” when they ask, “How are you doing?”

I’m not fine. I’m angry with my friends who took their lives. Why did they give up? I’m angry with myself. Was there something more I could have done? I’m angry with God. Why, God, did you allow their pain to become unbearable? Why didn’t you send more help? Why didn’t you intervene? ...

FULL ARTICLE: http://blog.todayschristianwoman.com/walkwithme/2009/04/a_time_to_mourn.html

A Church Without Issues

2009-03-25T12:03:00.000-07:00

Holly's latest blog entry on Today's Christian Woman magazine's website is now up:

A Church Without Issues
Which political or social issue should we rally around? Maybe none.

If you could pick one issue for the Christian church to represent, what would it be? Abortion or same-sex marriage? Environmental stewardship or poverty? Morality? ...

FULL ARTICLE:
http://blog.todayschristianwoman.com/walkwithme/2009/03/a_church_without_issues.html

Journey from Fear to Faith: Christina DiMari profile

2009-03-19T13:45:00.000-07:00

Holly's profile of Christian author Christina DiMari is now online:

Christina DiMari bolted up the stairs with her siblings, desperate to reach the safety of the family's third-floor bathroom. She laid down next to her three sisters and her brother, all of them trying to press their bodies flat against the cold bathroom floor. They listened for their father's thudding footsteps, terrified he would burst in with his gun and threaten to shoot them, as he often did when he was drunk. Violent noise drifted up from their living room two floors below: screams and swearing, the crash of breaking glass. Two gun shots. The children trembled. Was their mother dead? Would their dad kill them next?

FULL STORY:
Journey from Fear to Faith
Abused as a child, Ocean Star author Christina DiMari shares her troubled past in hope others will find healing.
http://www.christianitytoday.com/tc/peopleoffaith/profiles/journeyfromfeartofaith.html

Republicans Need to Support President Obama

2009-02-25T16:09:00.000-08:00

Holly's latest blog entry on Today's Christian Woman magazine's website is now up:

Divided, We Fall
Republicans need to get over their loss and support our new president.
http://blog.todayschristianwoman.com/walkwithme/2009/02/divided_we_fall.html

Watch Your Language!

2009-02-04T16:49:00.000-08:00

I received these excellent thoughts from my friend Brooke, which include a needed reminder that we should be careful in selecting words (and he makes some great points about spiritual growth, too):

Your reader used a key phrase, “Since I am in Christ…” “In Christ” captures the meaning of the Christian life. John the Apostle uses the term “abiding” much. I think when it comes to the question of goals or submission, I would say that may be the wrong question. The question for me is, how do I stay “In Christ?”

By posing that question, I’m not trying to get into an Armenian/Calvinistic debate. I think we all agree that there is a measure of effort that must be put forward by us in order for God’s grace to continually flow into our lives. We just need to be cautious that we don’t fall into a works mentality. We can never earn God’s merit by meeting our spiritual goals or by simply submitting to God’s will. We are saved by grace AND we grow spiritually through God’s grace.

I like your relational analogy. I like to talk about spiritual disciplines or holy habits as opposed to goals. I tend to shy away from the concept of goals when it comes to my own spirituality. Reaching a goal is a pass/fail endeavor. You either meet your goal or not. When we reach a goal, it can be easy to kind of pat ourselves on the back and get a little puffed up with spiritual pride. When we fail, it is easy to become self-condemning. Neither of those extremes helps in spiritual progress.

For the same reason, I tend to shy away from “submission” talk. The idea that on my own, I can submit my will to God’s is preposterous. That is simply relying on my own will power. Real submission comes from trust in God’s love and goodness.

Going back to a relational analogy, I may set a goal to spend at least one quality evening a week with my wife. When that happens, I don’t pat myself on the back and say to myself, “Good job.” When circumstances come up that prevent me from reaching this goal (and when you have young children, believe me, there are a lot of circumstances that come up), I don’t beat myself up and say to myself, “You are the worst husband in the world.” When I am able to reach my “goal” the reward comes in terms of the benefits to the strength of our relationship. When I “fail” it has the opposite effect and so I try to get back on track as soon as possible. So instead of looking at it in terms of goals or submission, I try to foster habits that will produce desired results. The end is not to reach a goal but to have a more loving, trusting relationship with my wife in which we are naturally more inclined to submit to one another.

John Wesley referred to habits that lead to being “in Christ,” as “means of grace.” The term, “means” is important. The means of grace are simply means and not an end in of themselves. The end of course is growth in grace or being “In Christ.” I would say that the only goal is to abide. Holy habits are a great means to that end.

Holly sez:
Excellent point: "Habits" would have been a better word for me to use. Thanks for sending me your thoughts; this made me realize I need to be careful when I'm using a theme word. The way I define it isn't necessarily the way most people define it.

I've never made goals that have "termination" points, and now that you mention it, I imagine that's how most folk draw up lists of goals. For example, when my doctor told me I needed to lower my cholesterol by at least 30 points, I didn't think to myself, "I'm going to lower my cholesterol by 30 points." Instead, I thought, "OK, I need to stop using butter to fry stuff. I need to stop eating the pastries at church every Sunday. And I need to start eating a lot of fiber." It never occurred to me that I was supposed to be shooting for 30 points--I simply figured that my cholesterol levels would improve by the amount of effort I was putting into the task. And I suppose it would have been pointless to shoot for 30 points, then to get there without thinking about the effort that was required (and pretty soon, I'd be back where I started).

My cholesterol has been decreasing over the past few years. At my recent doctor's appointment, I was delighted to hear it has dropped 36 points since the doc issued the warning. Thing is, I don't have to worry about keeping my cholesterol down, since I now have the habits in place. But I do have to keep those original "goals" in place for the rest of my life, along with adding new ones to continue improving my cholesterol levels.

I'm not sure how the reader interpreted my language about goals. While I'm not sure I interpreted her words as she'd intended them, it reminded me of people who've said, "I'm going to let God do the work of changing me because he'll make me into the person he desires me to be." One of my professors gave this illustration: Would we sit down and expect God to levitate our Bible into our lap, cause the pages to open to a certain section, and tilt our head at just an angle to read the words he wanted us to see? Do we really expect that God is going to do all the work of spiritual growth for us?

Thanks again for your thoughts, Brooke, and for giving me some better language.

Q&A: Why Set Spiritual Goals? Isn't Submission Enough?

2009-02-02T11:19:00.000-08:00

In response to my most recent Today’s Christian Woman post, “Spiritual Resolutions: Do you stick with your spiritual goals?”, a reader writes:

I do not make goals for myself—at least, not the kind you list in this article. Since I am in Christ, and most importantly, His Spirit is in me, I only work on submitting to Him and let Him set the goals. I find that much easier to do. It makes my life's resolution—not a yearly one—simple: submit my will to His will and I will never fail to achieve my goal. Not only that, I am no longer trying to figure out which goals are the right ones, and I can be sure that I am not working on the goal alone. Now make no mistake about it: that is a tall order. My will is rarely His will. It's always His will in the easy stuff. Back in 1999, right after I had just bought a new television and gotten a contract with Charter Cable, He told me to quit watching TV. That was a shock! I knew that was His idea because I'd just purchase all I needed to do just the opposite. But He made a way. That one turned out to be easy. I quickly acquiesced, and said to the Lord, that if this is of You, I should not expect to receive any more Charter Cable bills—and I haven't since that day. In fact, Charter sales' people came to my place twice trying to sell me cable because they happen to be in the area and could offer me a deal. But He doesn't always make it that easy. I have to struggle with some things so that when I achieve the goal, my character will be in tune with the goal He has set. So I flounder around for a while, but I still let Him set the goals, because I know that in Him, all of me will be complete.

Holly says: Your attitude of obedience and submission to God's will is inspiring.

I do have to restate that I think we do benefit from making specific spiritual goals. You likely have several that you actively work toward, even though you haven’t used the word "goals" to label them. Let me explain.

Consider how we have to be intentional in every relationship: We make plans to get together with friends at specific days/times; we call family members on their birthdays; we buy gifts and do special things for our spouses on our anniversaries.

You offered the example of doing what the Holy Spirit asks you to do. That’s a good start, but I think part of loving God with our minds is to deeply think about ways in which to love him.

Here’s an illustration: Say I decided to start only doing the things my husband specifically asked me to do for him. The first night I wouldn't make dinner for him because he didn't ask me. The next day, I wouldn't kiss him goodbye in the morning because he didn't ask me. And on the weekend, when he asked me to wash his shirts AND pants AND unders, I wouldn’t wash his socks, since he hadn’t asked for that particular item!

My husband would likely have a couple thoughts: (1) Why do I have to ask my wife to do the simplest, most obvious things for me? and (2) Why does my wife make such a minimal effort to love me? (since I certainly wouldn’t do special things like slipping a love note into his pocket, or buying him a book that I know he’d appreciate, or baking cookies for him). Perhaps he’d question why he married me in the first place.

Aren’t we blessed that God doesn’t act like a human—that God puts up with our all-too-often minimal love?

The point is: Relationships require us to be intentional. Having a relationship with God requires planning and effort. We need to schedule devotional time (i.e. planning it and then actually doing it, as opposed to merely thinking about doing it). We need to plan how to read the Bible (as opposed to the "open-it-up-and-see-where-my-finger-points" method). We need to worship with real love and emotion behind our songs/words/actions (as opposed to singing or saying the words without thinking about their meaning—i.e. the words “I love you, Lord” shouldn’t have the same emotional depth as “I had cereal for breakfast”). We need to be intentional in thought, emotion, and deed.

I can see that you're deeply committed to strengthening your relationship with God, as evidenced by your amazing commitment to get rid of TV. We should all be praying, as you do, "Father, I want you to change me. I want you to make me more like your Son, Jesus, through the work of your Holy Spirit." And then we should be intentional about identifying and implementing ways to strengthen our relationship with God—and with other Christians, as we’re instructed by God to do this.

One of my spiritual goals is to recognize my personal need for Christian community. I often think about what I give to the body of Christ, but honestly, sometimes I overlook how much I receive. So I’ve been looking for opportunities to receive the spiritual gifts of other Christians.

One way I do this is to be alert for things I need or couldn't do on my own. I then try to be intentional about thanking the person who met my need. This is an ongoing goal, and the more I look for ways to receive the gifts of others, the more I recognize that I'm part of the body of Christ. I feel more connected, more supported, and stronger. I've been amazed to find that dependence on other Christians makes me feel stronger than my independence!

I love that God is specific in calling us to love him with all of our heart, soul, strength, and mind. This combination tells me that God wants every part of me: I need to express emotional surrender and a willingness to submit/obey. I need to make a mental effort to think about God's character, to contemplate his Word, and to plan my efforts to get closer to him. I need to physically carry out those plans, to do what I've said I’m going to do.

In setting spiritual goals, I think about a couple questions: What does it mean to love God with all my heart, soul, strength, and mind? and What do I currently do to show my love to God? In which areas am I lacking effort? (e.g. Perhaps I have the desire to love God but don’t take the time to plan how I will worship him. Or perhaps I make a plan, but don’t follow it through. Or perhaps I go through the actions, but my heart isn’t in it.) We need to regularly evaluate ourselves—and to receive accountability from other Christians—to monitor whether our efforts to love God are complete and consistent.

Making (and Sticking to) Spiritual Goals

2009-01-28T12:26:00.000-08:00

Holly's latest blog entry on Today's Christian Woman magazine's website is now up:

Spiritual Resolutions
Do you stick to your spiritual goals?
http://blog.todayschristianwoman.com/walkwithme/2009/01/spiritual_resolutions.html

To ponder:

1) What are some mistakes you’ve made in setting goals for spiritual growth?

2) What are some specific goals you have?

Q&A: Why are Christians fired up about gay marriage, but not divorce?

2009-01-21T13:09:00.000-08:00

A reader writes:
I understand that many Christians find the whole concept of gay marriage to be against God's design and plan for marriage. These Christians say that because marriage is designed to be a long-term (indeed, forever), intimate (sexual) relationship, the state should not allow anyone except one man and one woman to be married.

I see where these Christians are coming from. However, I wonder if they are consistent with this same concept when it comes to divorce.

The Bible, as I understand it, is strongly against divorce. To get divorced is to break the bond that God established, and only under certain circumstances (such as adultery) is it allowed. However, let's say that hypothetically, "Adam" decides he doesn't want to be married to "Eve" any longer because he doesn't like her nagging, so he gets a divorce, and then gets married to "Elizabeth." Adam thus has a long-term sexual relationship with Elizabeth, contrary to God's law, when he should have remained true with Eve. The question is: If Christians consider a homosexual marriage to be wrong—and on this basis declare that it should be ILLEGAL—then why shouldn't Adam's divorce and remarriage be ALSO wrong—AND ILLEGAL? Both are falling short of the ideal family unit, aren't they?

If Christians are so strongly against gay marriage and so convinced that we must "protect the family unit," why aren't these Christians—WITH EQUAL VIGOR AND INTENSITY—declaring that divorce and remarriage are wrong and SHOULD NOT be allowed? Aren't divorced and remarried heterosexual people "living in sexual sin" (and thereby offending God) just as much as gay couples are, according to the Bible? And the state is blessing the union of these divorced people! Aren't Christians being extremely inconsistent here? Because obviously, there are no Christians in the entire United States who are on a crusade to outlaw remarriages after divorces.

I personally am not necessarily advocating that remarriage should be illegal, or that gay marriage should be legal. I am just making a point about consistency. And I also believe that if Christians were REALLY concerned about "protecting the family unit," they would do everything in their power to focus on bringing down the extremely high divorce rate among heterosexual couples (even among Christians!) rather than going to extreme lengths to oppose the unions of homosexual couples that love each other.
____

Holly sez:
You said, “I understand that many Christians find the whole concept of gay marriage to be against God’s design and plan for marriage. … I wonder if they are consistent with this same concept when it comes to divorce.”

It's true that the church as a whole isn’t consistent. The divorce rate is the same among Christians and non-Christians, with evangelicals having a nominally lower rate of divorce (perhaps a percent less—certainly nothing to brag about). And Scripture is clear on the issue of divorce between two believers:

Matthew 5:32
But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

Matthew 19:9
I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.

Here’s the thing: There are lots of folks who label themselves as “Christian” yet make no effort to act as Christ-followers. There’s a good reason that the church is seen as a place full of hypocrisy. I’d submit that few who call themselves Christians see themselves as sinful. C.S. Lewis talks about pride as “the great sin,” and I’d speculate that prideful people are particularly drawn to the church because they see church membership as proof of their goodness/superiority. And part of the problem is that church leaders often focus on the message of God’s love—which makes sense because there are tons of broken and hurting people in the church—but this hurts the church as a whole when we neglect to discuss how depraved, ugly and corrupt humans really are. I don’t think most Christians understand exactly how desperate the human situation is, and how every one of us would be doomed if we didn’t have a Savior in Jesus.

Those problems aside, I’d argue that many churches and Christian institutions do take a very strong stand on divorce. On the application for Biola University, prospective students must indicate if they’ve been divorced or if their spouse has divorced. Those who have divorced (or have a divorced spouse) must then write an essay on their view on divorce and how their own divorce might affect their future ministry. When I applied for a job at Christianity Today International, I wasn’t directly asked whether I’d ever been divorced (I think it’s probably illegal to ask about marital status), but the company definitely insisted on full disclosure among staff members. I knew very intimate details about my fellow staffers lives, and there was a high level of accountability in the best of ways. We were continually reminded that we were representing Jesus Christ (as opposed to merely being representatives of the magazines).

You might say it makes sense that Christian organizations would have internal policies on divorce—but why aren’t churches more vocal on divorce among churchgoers? For starters, I’d say the church doesn’t have a leg to stand on since so many Christian couples have divorced. In contrast, most pastors won’t perform gay unions, so same-sex marriage is a relatively “hands clean” issue for the church. That might sound hypocritical, but let’s face facts: It’s easier to take a stand on something when you don’t have to add, “Do as a say, not as I do” at the end of your statement. So while both divorce and same-sex marriage can be justified biblically as immoral, one is a lot easier for the church to be vocal about.

I have to point out that when we Christians take a critical look at the church, we tend to condemn the sin we aren’t participating in. For example, I have some Christian friends who are environmental and social activists, and they often ask, “Why doesn’t the church pay more attention to the poor and sick? Why don’t more churches do simple acts like recycling?” It makes sense that these activists are the ones speaking up about these issues: A person who drives an SUV probably won’t be the one to say, “Christians need to do better at taking care of the planet God entrusted to us.”

So I think your argument illustrates how it’s easier to take a stand on a “hands clean” issue: Since you love your wife and care about your marriage, it’s easier (and appropriate) for you to pose this question about divorce. It’s very difficult for someone like my pastor. After my pastor found out he was unable to have children, his first wife had an affair, got pregnant (which was her intention), and left him. Despite his attempts to reconcile, she divorced him. While he was clearly “hands clean” from a biblical perspective, nearly 20 years later it’s still difficult for him to counsel people about divorce because they reply, “Well, Pastor, you got a divorce!”

But there’s a far more important, practical reason that keeps Christians from taking a stand against divorce: There’s no public discourse on the topic right now. It’s very difficult for someone to take a strong position on something that isn’t in the public mind. In comparison, same-sex marriage is discussed on TV, in Washington, and it’s been up for the vote in several states.

Here’s an example: Say I wanted to take a stand against adultery. The majority of the public would probably agree with me that adultery is a bad thing. Yet I probably wouldn’t get very far in my campaign because adultery isn’t an issue on the public mind right now.

But say a study came out this month that showed the financial toll that broken marriages take on the economy. And say in this study, it’s shown that the most litigious, expensive divorces occur due to adultery. When this study is announced on the evening news, that’s my cue to get vocal. At that point, I could post on the web, send letters to Congress, write editorials, and get a petition going to put a proposition on the ballot—and people would probably listen to me. It’s like how reporters have to focus on certain stories and pass on others because of the public’s interest (or lack thereof).

This is not to say that Christians take every opportunity to discuss divorce. I think a huge one was missed during the presidential election: marriage/divorce among the presidential candidates. There were little murmurs about it, but someone who deeply cared about divorce rates could have jumped on that one.

Another problem is that folks in the church don’t talk about their sins. I’ve found that many Christians are extremely secretive about their lives because they’re afraid of being judged by other Christians. With good reason: There are jerks in the church who do judge and condemn. This goes back to the masses of folks who join churches so they can feel superior to others—and they don’t want any “sinners” ruining their holy clubs.

Meanwhile, other Christians are terrified of sounding judgmental because they know the church is seen as hypocritical. So they keep mum on topics like divorce.

And lest I sound like I’m just listing excuses for why Christians don’t discuss divorce—I’d add that my personal writing and discussion about same-sex marriage has consistently included the topic of divorce. I took a hard line on divorce in the church last June:

“The gay community is blameless for the current state of marriage. Heterosexuals—including us evangelical Christians—are solely responsible for damaging God’s holy union. We must admit our guilt, and our selfishness at the root of divorce and infidelity. If we Christians really want to restore God’s plan for marriage, we need to channel some of the energy that’s gone into fighting same-sex marriages into working on our own marriages.” http://blog.todayschristianwoman.com/walkwithme/2008/06/redefining_marriage.html

As for my own stance on same-sex marriage … perhaps six or seven years ago, I watched a documentary on the topic (it was pro-same-sex marriage). To be honest, my thoughts as I watched it were, “Why not let gay couples marry and have equal rights? What difference does it make to me if they get married?”

And then something deeply troubling was said on the documentary by one of the primary gay-rights activists. He said that what the gay community really wanted wasn’t marriage, but rather the right to divorce—gay couples needed a way to have their interests protected when they divorced, he said. I’ve since read similar statements on gay-rights websites, albeit not quite as blunt. This motivated me to start digging into the movement for same-sex marriage. What I found was a lack of interest in commitment and a focus on social status.

Marriage has taken a beating from divorce. Those who believe marriage is a vow made before God to enter into a life-long commitment should be sickened that the term has deteriorated into meaning “relational legitimacy.” It’s like one step above “going steady.” Relational legitimacy is really what the gay community is fighting for in California, because it’s clearly not a rights issue. Couples who register as domestic partners have the same rights/benefits/responsibilities as couples who marry. California’s Prop. 8 was a fight over a word that means a lot to people on both sides of the issue.

Let me circle back a minute. Why do heterosexual Christian couples enter into marriage if they don’t intend to keep their vow to God? Probably for the same reason folks call themselves Christians without ever intending to follow Christ. People want the status that gives them a feeling of superiority. Gay couples want the status they feel is conveyed by the label “marriage.” People are very interested in getting the rights and benefits of both Christianity and marriage. But many don’t want the responsibilities that go along with the commitment.

For now, I’d submit that the majority of Americans define marriage as a life-long vow made before God between a man and a woman. Every law is a moral value judgment of human beings, and every American has the right to weigh in on what the law should be. I seized the opportunity to weigh in on same-sex marriage. If I get such an opportunity to weigh in on divorce, you can bet I’ll do so.

I hope you’ll keep asking this question to a lot of Christians. Puts it on their radar. It reminded me that I need to always discuss divorce—and acknowledge the failings of Christians—whenever I’m writing or talking about same-sex marriage.

Tossing Church Loyalty Aside Like Toilet Paper?

2009-01-14T12:59:00.001-08:00

"Protestant churchgoers are no more loyal to their church denomination than they are to brands of toothpaste or bathroom tissue."

—From an Ellison Research press release announcing its most recent survey, which found that 7 out of 10 regular churchgoers would be at least somewhat open to switching denominations if they could no longer attend their current church.

Holly sez:
It bugs me that Ellison sent out a press release implying that churchgoers lack loyalty. And I find it insulting that church loyalty is compared to single-use items like toothpaste and toilet paper: things we spit out and that have, ahem, the lowest value.

I can hear the Ellison PR rep now, "Holly, that's not what we're saying! We simply publicized our survey by using colorful language—surely you understand that we needed a punchy comparison to get our study noticed."

Well, you got me, Ellison Research, I read your press release. And I was baffled as to why your organization included this unrelated quote from organizational psychologist Rensis Likert on the webpage with the press release: "The greater the loyalty of a group toward the group, the greater is the motivation among the members to achieve the goals of the group, and the greater the probability that the group will achieve its goals." Huh? I thought this question was on the hypothetical: If I couldn't attend my current church, would I go somewhere else? How does that question measure my loyalty to "the group" (AKA my current church)?

And is it truly disloyal to attend a Baptist church if one was raised Lutheran? Here's the reality: Protestant denominations have the same core values (Jesus, the Trinity, the resurrection, universal sinfulness), with trifling differences (e.g. Should our church have a band, an organist, or just vocalists? Should we meet on Saturday or Sunday? Are church members allowed to play card games?).

The "group," in my opinion, shouldn't be a denomination, but rather the church at large. AKA the body of Christ. If I couldn't attend my current church, I'd be willing to attend just about anywhere where parishioners recognize Jesus as the Son of God.

My loyalty is first to God. I believe I can obey God wherever I happen to attend.

I think the more important question to ask about church loyalty is: Are you willing to stick with your current church through thick and thin? Are you committed to building community there, even when it hurts?

It can be difficult and painful to attend the same church week after week because churches are filled with flawed, broken people. And, let's face it: Flawed, broken people can be incredibly irritating to be around.

Further, as we get closer to our church families, others see our flaws and brokenness. There are many weeks when I long to be unknown—to sit in the back row of a church where I'm an anonymous visitor who can slip out unnoticed. Why? Because if I was an unknown, there wouldn't be anyone calling me to be accountable. There wouldn't be anyone pushing me to grow spiritually. There wouldn't be anyone pointing out my flaws, telling me that God wants me to surrender my anger, impatience, and selfishness.

The closer we get to other Christians, the more we see the ugliness in ourselves. And that's a good thing.

The study I'd like to see is: How long have folks attended their current churches? Why did they leave their last church? How much church hopping is really going on? Similarly, I'd like to see one on: How much emphasis do churches put on membership? Are church leaders discussing the importance of being in community? Are we supporting the frustrated folks who want to leave?

To ponder:
1) How loyal are you to your church?

2) Do you sometimes want to leave your church, or go somewhere else for a while? What are your reasons for this? What are your reasons for staying?

3) Do you think it's important to stick with a church? Why or why not?

H-n-T Celebrates Three Years of Blogging

2009-01-04T21:42:00.000-08:00

Happy Blog-iversary, H-n-T!

Here's a look at another great year for
H-n-T:

H-n-T turns 3 on January 8, 2009.

H-n-T had 52 posts in 2008.

According to Site Meter, there were 8,157 visits to the blog in 2008. (This blows my mind: Site Meter recorded 3,363 visits in 2007, and 1,373 visits in 2006. Thanks, readers, for coming back and telling a friend!)

November 2008 posted a record high, with 860 visits.

Holly chose “Questioning God” as her favorite post of 2008. What was your favorite post this year? Post your comments here, or e-mail Holly at contacthnt@gmail.com.

Hugest thanks to all who read, pondered, commented, and forwarded posts on H-n-T in 2008!

Offering My Best: H-n-T’s Pick of 2008

2009-01-03T15:16:00.000-08:00

Below this post is my pick-of-the-year from 2008, “Questioning God.” It originally appeared on my blog for Today's Christian Woman. Here's a bit about why I chose it as H-n-T's Pick of 2008.

I had a tough time picking the post of the year for 2008. Should I offer up the most controversial posts (on Prop. 8 and, amusingly to me, on wearing Christian t-shirts) as the best of my best? Or the one that I thought represented my most colorful writing (“Mystery Grab Bag”)? How about the one that got responses that were meaningful to me (“‘Be’ Like Jesus? How Do I ‘Do’ That?”)? Or should I repost a piece about The Secret, which is still getting response a year and a half after I first wrote on the topic?

I decided to offer the post that reveals my greatest struggle: Why does God allow suffering? In 2008, I took a class on this topic and did two research projects on it. I was starting to think I understood it a bit when a friend was struck by a car as she was crossing the street on Christmas. She’s still in ICU, and hasn’t regained feeling in her legs.

Once again I asked, “Why, God?” I couldn’t find any words to encourage my friend. Amazingly, she encouraged me: She greeted me with a bright smile when I entered her hospital room, and she spoke of God’s goodness and grace. Instead of being sorrowful about her condition, she joyfully praised God for sparing her life. She wasn’t even angry with the driver, who’d fled from the scene. Rather, she was grateful that another driver found her on the side of the road—and thankful that God had sent this person her way on Christmas evening, when there were few cars on the road.

I’m glad my friend is finding God’s comfort and love in the midst of her suffering. Her reflections are especially meaningful to me right now, as I go in for further tests on my left eye. Many of you will remember I temporarily lost part of my vision two years ago, and a recent test showed more scarring in my eye. It’s a scary thing to think I might lose my eyesight again. I’m trying to focus on how God provided in the past, and to remember he’s always given me enough grace each day. And I return to this prayer, for both me and my friend in the hospital, that I wrote in “Questioning God”:

God, I have no idea why you’re allowing suffering. Frankly, I don’t trust your plan right now, and I don’t see any good coming from this pain. But I do recognize you’re God: You fully understand the purpose of human suffering. I’m glad I can unload my frustration and confusion on you. Please use these events to teach me and others.

To ponder:
1) When you are going through hardship, do you find it more difficult or more easy to talk to God?

2) Which is a bigger challenge to your faith: when you suffer, or when you see someone else suffering?

3) Write an honest prayer to God with your feelings and questions about suffering.

H-n-T's Pick of 2008: "Questioning God"

2009-01-03T15:01:00.000-08:00

Maria Sue Chapman, the five-year-old daughter of veteran Christian singer Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife, Mary Beth, was accidentally struck and killed by a car last week. As I read the news of Maria’s death, I asked God my most oft-repeated question: Why?

On learning the details, I shifted to a more accusatory question: How could you allow this, God? Some of the Chapman children witnessed the accident in the family’s driveway. The driver who accidentally hit Maria was her 17-year-old brother. And their mother, Mary Beth, has long struggled with depression. From my perspective, the loss was too much for the Chapman family. From my perspective, God should have stopped the car.

Throughout my youth, I thought questioning life events—including suffering—was wrong because, some Christians told me, God has a purpose and plan for everything. A Christian naturally responds with absolute faith, they said, because “in all things God works for the good of those who love him” (Romans 8:28). Some people even cited the story of Job and told me, “Job never questioned God.” So I feigned faith. I did my best to express the trust and peace I thought all Christians possessed.

Yet when, as an adult, I read the book of Job, I saw he indeed questioned God. Early in his suffering, Job wishes he’d never been born. This desire is surely a question about God’s will and plan, since God gave Job life. Job becomes increasingly accusatory: “Why does God let me live when life is miserable and so bitter?” (Job 3:20, CEV); “God has made my days drag on and my nights miserable” (7:3). Job even asks questions similar to mine: “Why is life so hard? Why do we suffer?” (7:1).

Two years ago, my friend Rosie asked those very questions when she lost her 39-year-old husband, Gordon, to cancer. Because Rosie had prayed and believed God would restore her husband’s health, she was spiritually devastated at Gordon’s death.

I was, too, because I’d believed God would offer some meaning for Gordon’s horrific physical suffering. At the least, I’d thought God would give family members and friends total peace, assuring them Gordon was in heaven. We had much peace, but we also had much pain—and many questions: Why did God allow this cancer? Why did he take Gordon away from his kids, a toddler and a teenager?

The Bible outlines several reasons for suffering: It can develop character and spiritual maturity; it can provide opportunities to share faith; it can correct sin; it can prepare for comforting others; and it can bring glory to God. Yet, such knowledge may be meaningless to the sufferer. Knowledge doesn’t always soothe. Quoting Romans 8:28 repeatedly hasn’t removed my questions. I haven’t found any pat answers or fast fixes for the problem of suffering. More often, the only meaningful prayer for me and suffering friends is, “Why, God?”

Too many Christians expect faith to come easily. Effortlessly. I used to think, I’ll never understand why suffering exists, so I just need to have faith—as if I were born with deep, mature faith! But perfect faith isn’t innate, nor does it come with salvation. Rather, faith has grown gradually in me. It seems to grow when I suffer or share others’ suffering, when I’m so overwhelmed that I run to God in prayer.

And in that desperation, my prayers are often anxious, furious, or miserable. I certainly don’t approach God with trust and peace. But faith doesn’t grow if I try to fake it. Instead, those moments of emotional rawness are the times I’m most receptive to hearing God out.

Perhaps God wanted me to struggle with the concept of suffering while witnessing Gordon’s illness, and now while reading about the Chapmans. I need to pray honestly: “God, I have no idea why you’re allowing suffering. Frankly, I don’t trust your plan right now, and I don’t see any good coming from this pain. But I do recognize you’re God: You fully understand the purpose of human suffering. I’m glad I can unload my frustration and confusion on you. Please use these events to teach me and others.”

When I pray honestly, I rarely receive my desired answers. God’s never shown me suffering’s ultimate purpose. He simply allows me to wrestle with the “Why?” question to expose my hurt and mistrust. And I’m starting to realize that to get to real faith, I need to start with real doubt.

Ways to Give Charitably, Without Spending a Dime

2009-01-03T13:50:00.000-08:00

Holly's latest blog entry on Today's Christian Woman magazine's website is now up:

Scrooge Syndrome

In rough economic times, are we cutting back on the wrong things?

http://blog.todayschristianwoman.com/walkwithme/2008
/12/scrooge_syndrome.html

At the end of "Scrooge Syndrome," check out the list of ways to be charitable that won't cost you a penny. If you know of other free ways to be charitable, please post them here on H-n-T.

Strictly for the Hard Core: "The Mosaic Law, Today"

2008-12-23T12:16:00.000-08:00

An early Christmas present from H-n-T! This is my research paper which addresses the question: "What purpose does the Old Testament law have for today's church?"

To view the paper full screen, click the button on the far right of the Scribd window.

Publish at Scribd or explore others:

The Bible on Homosexuality

2008-12-08T11:43:00.000-08:00

On my most recent Today's Christian Woman blog post, someone asked for a list of Bible verses that discuss homosexuality. I'm posting them here on H-n-T:

Old Testament
Destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, Genesis 19
(The people of these cities were involved in all kinds of sexual immorality, including rape, and sex with animals and children. This passage specifically mentions homosexuality.):

4Before Lot and his guests could go to bed, every man in Sodom, young and old, came and stood outside his house 5and started shouting, "Where are your visitors? Send them out, so we can have sex with them!"

Note that when God called for the destruction of cities in the Old Testament, it was because a city had become so reprehensible that God wouldn't put up with their sinfulness any longer. In records outside of the Bible, it has been shown that the Canaanites were highly promiscuous, would have sex with temple prostitutes as part of idol worship, would have sex with animals, and would rape and sacrifice children in the worship of idols. That's why God promised to give Canaan to the Israelites.

In the Law (Torah), Leviticus 18:22:
22It is disgusting for a man to have sex with another man.

Leviticus 20:13:
13It's disgusting for men to have sex with one another, and those who do will be put to death, just as they deserve.

New Testament
The apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 6:
9Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders 10nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

Notice that other types of sexual immorality--and specifically adultery--are included in this list along with homosexuality.

Romans 1
(In this chapter, Paul is outlining how man has turned away from God since creation):

24So God let these people go their own way. They did what they wanted to do, and their filthy thoughts made them do shameful things with their bodies. 25They gave up the truth about God for a lie, and they worshiped God's creation instead of God, who will be praised forever. Amen. 26God let them follow their own evil desires. Women no longer wanted to have sex in a natural way, and they did things with each other that were not natural. 27Men behaved in the same way. They stopped wanting to have sex with women and had strong desires for sex with other men. They did shameful things with each other, and what has happened to them is punishment for their foolish deeds.

1 Timothy 1:
8We know that the Law is good, if it is used in the right way. 9We also understand that it wasn't given to control people who please God, but to control lawbreakers, criminals, godless people, and sinners. It is for wicked and evil people, and for murderers, who would even kill their own parents. 10The Law was written for people who are sexual perverts or who live as homosexuals or are kidnappers or liars or won't tell the truth in court. It is for anything else that opposes the correct teaching 11of the good news that the glorious and wonderful God has given me.

In Paul's letter to Timothy, he includes a list of people who do things in opposition to the Mosaic Law (Torah). This isn't meant to be a comprehensive list, but rather, is a summary of some ways in which the Law is broken.

Big point here is homosexuality (as well as pre-marital and extra-marital sex--and, of course, bestiality, rape, and sex with minors) is in opposition to God's model for sex.

While Jesus never directly discusses homosexuality, he does offer an example of the Genesis creation account in discussing divorce:

Matthew 19:
4"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' 5and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'?

One post to this blog (from David) said, "At the same time, we ignore Matthew 19, where JESUS says one of the reasons men don't marry (women) is because God made them that way."

What Jesus says refers to eunuchs, men who are born with defects that make them unable to have sex:

11Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."

David, if you are implying that Jesus is defending homosexuality here, that is a false characterization of this passage.

Always a good reminder: We need to be careful when we apply Scripture to our lives today to first consider the historical and cultural context in which it was given. And we need to not bend the meaning of words. This passage is about men who can't have sex: 1) due to birth defects, or 2) due to accidental or purposeful castration. It also discusses that some men won't marry (and will abstain from sex) because they have dedicated themselves to the work of ministry.

As a side note, the point Jesus is making in the Matthew 19 passage is that husbands and wives should stay married. Jewish law had been interpreted such that men could divorce their wives for any reason. I think this verse could be applied as a strong statement against no-fault divorce today.

Taking a Stand for Marriage

2008-12-08T10:25:00.000-08:00

Holly's latest blog entry on Today's Christian Woman magazine's website is now up:

Taking a Stand for Marriage
My vote on Proposition 8 was obvious, yet painfully difficult.
http://blog.todayschristianwoman.
com/walkwithme/2008/11/
taking_a_stand_for_marriage.html

Evidence for Jesus, Son of God: Response to Arah

2008-11-26T12:31:00.000-08:00

Arah, thank you for explaining the Islamic view of Jesus.

Your comment—and my disagreement with how you've portrayed Jesus—serve as proof to the point that religions are not the same. What you've basically stated in your comment is this: "Holly, you and all Christians are wrong." To illustrate how different we are, consider Jesus' words from the Bible, John 14 (bold emphasis mine):

---
1"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. 2In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. 3And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. 4You know the way to the place where I am going."

5Thomas said to him, "Lord, we don't know where you are going, so how can we know the way?"

6Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. 7If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him."

8Philip said, "Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us."

9Jesus answered: "Don't you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, 'Show us the Father'? 10Don't you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you are not just my own. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. 11Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the miracles themselves. 12I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. 13And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. 14You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.
---

Arah, if you truly believe as you say you do, you surely recognize that the passage I've quoted from the Bible contains blasphemous comments, from the perspective of a Muslim. Jesus is saying: 1) He's deity, 2) he's one with the Father (God), and 3) he's the only way we can reach God. How could Islam characterize a man who said these words as the second greatest prophet?

Christians often refer to the Trinity using the description of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Spirit. I hope you will see that there are foundational disagreements between our two religions because Islam and Christianity are not the same thing. To be very blunt: One of us is wrong. If I'm wrong, I will incur God's wrath because I've deified someone who isn't a deity. If you're wrong, you will be eternally separated from God for not acknowledging Jesus as the Son of God.

Perhaps I will come to the end of my life and find that I'm wrong. I spent nearly a decade investigating various religions and spiritual practices, and found them all lacking until I began to really look at the life of Jesus Christ and who he claimed to be: the Son of God. I'm convinced he was telling the truth. And as I constantly find more evidence that Jesus is deity, I become more confident of my choice to follow his teachings.

You've suggested that there are man-made characterizations within Christianity (I assume you're referring to the words of the Bible). I'd ask you: Where is your proof of this, outside of the Quran, your own holy book? And what I mean is, how can you be certain that the Quran is truth, rather than the Bible, Tipitaka, Book of Mormon, Veda, Tao-te-ching, etc.?

Here is some of my evidence:

To view the paper full screen, click the button on the far right of the Scribd window.

Res research

Get your own at Scribd or explore others: Religion Christianity bible muhammad

No 'Secret': We Suffer for God’s Purposes

2008-11-25T12:08:00.000-08:00

This is in response to further comments about The Secret:

There is a false and insidious concept floating around today’s church: that God wants to express his love for us by making us happy and comfortable.

Earthly happiness is not God’s goal for us. Quite the contrary: God wants us to become like Jesus. And what do we know of Jesus? His life was about suffering.

Jesus left paradise to come to earth. He left a place where all is good and right. He went to an earth that is filled with pain, sickness, and suffering. When Satan tempts Jesus in the desert, the offer is to alleviate that suffering. Jesus is hungry, as he hasn’t eaten in 40 days; Satan suggests that Jesus end that hunger (suffering) by allowing himself to have the comfort of food. But Jesus says no—God is his priority, not the ending of his suffering. Satan offers to give Jesus riches and power. Again, Jesus says no—God is his priority. He goes on to live a life of poverty, indeed homelessness. (Remember, the Son of Man doesn’t have a home or a place to lay his head.)

Satan also tells Jesus that he’s powerful, so surely he can throw himself off the cliff and he’ll be OK. I believe this is the same temptation posed by The Secret today. The law of attraction asserts that we are powerful. We instead need to continually proclaim truth: God is powerful. We are weak creatures who long for comfort so much that we make it an idol that becomes more important to us than God.

Jesus is pursued by his enemies, constantly threatened with death, and insulted at every turn. He is betrayed by his closest friends. And we all know what happens at the end of his life.

Additionally, we don’t have to guess about what it looks like to be a follower of Christ: We see what happens to his followers in the early church. Paul is repeatedly beaten, thrown in prison, and his life is threatened everywhere he goes. He is beheaded by Nero in Rome. Matthew is killed by the sword in Ethiopia. Mark is dragged by horses through the streets of Alexandria. Luke is hanged in Greece. Peter is crucified upside down. Christians worldwide continue to suffer and die for their faith today.

Throughout the New Testament, we’re told that the Christian life requires suffering. We should not desire to escape from it, because God uses suffering for his higher purposes. Here are some (I’m quoting Dr. John Hutchison, chair of the Bible exposition department at Talbot School of Theology, as he summarizes this beautifully):

1) To show genuine faith and glorify God (1 Peter 1:6-7)
2) To discipline for personal sin, producing a life of righteousness and harmony with God and others (Heb. 12:7, 11)
3) To develop perseverance, character, and maturity (Rom. 5:3-5, James 1:2-4)
4) To prepare us to comfort others who go through suffering (2 Cor. 1:3-4)
5) To provide opportunities for the advance of the Gospel (Phil. 1:12)
6) To follow Christ’s example and show his glory to others (1 Peter 4:12-14)

In 2 Cor. 12, Paul speaks of having a “thorn in the flesh.” Dr. Kevin Huggins, a therapist, pastor, and educator, explains what Paul means:

“A ‘thorn in the flesh’ is any kind of suffering or affliction that attacks or weakens our capacity to live independently of God (2 Cor. 12:8-9). According to Paul, thorns in the flesh come in at least five varieties (12:10): ‘weaknesses’ (physical infirmities), ‘insults’ (relational difficulties), ‘hardships’ (natural disasters and economic difficulties), ‘persecution’ (physical violence), and ‘difficulties’ (emotional distress).”

While we’re not called to pursue suffering (to intentionally have it inflicted on us or to physically abuse ourselves), we’re not supposed to be purposely avoiding it, either. If you aren’t experiencing any suffering in your life, you need to ask yourself, “Why not?” Why are you making great efforts to avoid the thing God specifically says he’s going to use to shape you and make you more like Jesus?

Who’s Got an Important Job?

2008-11-24T12:48:00.000-08:00

Over the weekend, I attended a get-together with some high school friends. I hadn’t seen these folks in 17 years, so I’d wondered whether we’d be able to carry on a conversation—and, if so, what on earth would we talk about?

As we began sharing about the second half of our lives, several of my old schoolmates told of their paper-pushing, report-filing, 9-to-5 jobs. I asked for more detail, and one replied, “You know, it’s just a normal job.” Thing is, I haven’t recently experienced what a “normal” job is like, since I haven’t had one since 2004. And I miss it. One classmate mentioned the free beverages in his office, which took me right back to my last full-time job, where I was thrilled that I could make mint cocoa every day because my office had both cocoa packets and peppermint tea bags. I miss the daily interactions with co-workers, going out to lunch, and the shared joy of finishing a project.

Don’t get me wrong: I love the writing that I do. I just have a different experience—of getting up, drinking a glass of water (no coffee cart to grab from), walking from my kitchen into our home office, and often wishing I had a co-worker with whom to bounce around ideas. Instead, I email my stories to my editors in Chicago, hoping they don’t hate them, and wait for their emailed reply. And sometimes I “phone a friend,” asking their opinion on my work. “Normal” simply isn’t my normal.

I thought my friends’ jobs were a lot more fascinating than the tone in their voices suggested. They are doing work that is deeply meaningful to individuals, the country, and the world. Their work helps others receive medical care, make financial decisions, and access entertainment. Some of them figure out solutions to problems so others don’t have to worry about that stuff.

Some years ago, a friend who worked as an office assistant told me she felt her job was unimportant. “I’m just a secretary,” she’d said. And I replied, “Isn’t every working person a secretary?” In essence, everyone is working for someone else: Some people work for a supervisor, some for clients, some for shareholders. This might sound like I’m saying, “All jobs are relatively unimportant”—but my meaning is the furthest from this. Rather, I mean that all jobs are equally structurally important. If any part of the structure is missing, regardless of what type of part it is, the structure is incomplete.

This is the concept of the body of Christ. There are days that I feel like the pinky toe in the body. I’ve heard that a person could lose their toe and still be able to walk and function just fine. But function isn’t the point. The body was designed a particular way, which includes 10 toes. If one toe is gone—even if one toenail is missing—the body isn’t complete.

I once accidentally dropped something heavy on my foot, which caused bruising under the nail. I remember how I’d worried that my toenail might fall off. I didn’t want to be missing a nail on one toe, because I recognized this would cause me to feel incomplete. (Well, I’d feel it was ugly-looking to be toenail-less!) My mind recognized that even the smallest piece is needed for completeness. I love these verses from 1 Corinthians 12: “… there should be no division in the body … its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it” (v. 25-26).

On those days when I feel like I’m the pinky toenail, I hope I’ll also remember that I’m a valuable part of the body's structure. I hope I’ll learn to always regard every person as necessary for the body of Christ to be complete.

Is Prop. 8 About Rights?

2008-11-02T23:49:00.000-08:00

Is this an issue of rights?

Since 1999, same-sex couples have been able to register for a domestic partnership under California law. Though rights were limited in scope back then, these have been expanded over the years so that today, a domestic partnership offers the same rights and responsibilities as a marriage within California.

From the California family code (current California law) regarding domestic partnerships:

297.5. (a) Registered domestic partners shall have the same rights, protections, and benefits, and shall be subject to the same responsibilities, obligations, and duties under law, whether they derive from statutes, administrative regulations, court rules, government policies, common law, or any other provisions or sources of law, as are granted to and imposed upon spouses.

(f) Registered domestic partners shall have the same rights regarding nondiscrimination as those provided to spouses.

(These are two portions of the law that offer summary statements; click the link above to read the full text of the law.)

If Proposition 8 becomes law, it would not affect California law on domestic partnership—same-sex couples could continue registering and receiving the same rights in California as married opposite-sex couples.

Do “marriage” and “domestic partnerships” confer the same rights?

Within California, both confer the same rights. However, these rights are not “portable” because states create their own state’s laws, not federal ones. Thus, same-sex couples can’t register for a domestic partnership in California and retain those rights and responsibilities if they move to another state, unless that other state passes legislation to acknowledge these unions.

The same is true for same-sex marriages. Individual states decide whether they will recognize same-sex marriages. So as far as portability goes, it doesn’t matter what designation a same-sex couple receives (marriage or domestic partnership)—other states may or may not recognize the union. Same-sex marriages are currently recognized in Connecticut, Massachusetts, California and New York; New Hampshire and New Jersey recognize these as civil unions.

The U.S. federal government and its agencies do not recognize same-sex marriages, per the Defense of Marriage Act (enacted 1996).

If rights aren’t at stake, then what’s this issue about?

This is a primarily a dispute over the right to use the word “marriage.” From a publication of the Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders (GLAD) website: “Civil unions are unfamiliar; people don’t understand them or know how to treat them … . Marriage is the ultimate expression of love and commitment; people understand and respect it.”

Why is any compromise needed? Why not just designate both as “married”?

For a variety of reasons, many Americans, including Californians, think the word “marriage” should be only defined as between a man and a woman.

In 2000, Proposition 22 was adopted in California, with 61 percent of voters supporting it. The following was added to the California Family Code (308.5):

Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.

A series of legal challenges and counter-challenges has taken place over the past four years. In May 2008, the California Supreme Court struck down Proposition 22, effectively allowing same-sex couples to marry. In June 2008, Proposition 8, titled “Eliminates Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry,” qualified for the November ballot, receiving close to twice the amount of petition signatures required for a measure to qualify.

Same-sex couples have been able—and are still able— to register for domestic partnerships. If Proposition 8 becomes law, it would not affect California law on domestic partnership—same-sex couples could continue registering and receiving the same rights in California as married opposite-sex couples.

Prop. 8: Thoughts from Joe and Response from Holly

2008-11-01T01:33:00.000-07:00

Thoughts from my friend Joe:

Dear Holly,

I admire the honesty of your post; I agree that the only real argument against gay marriage is faith-based. No phony data about the unsustainability of families anchored by gay couples or such makes this a refreshingly honest view.

However, your musings generally undermine the strength of your argument... you say you must vote to make your state better recognize the authority of God, but point out cases where just such a position would be not only a cause of "sadness" but in fact, extensive state-sponsored bloodshed. Yes the Bible does actually proscribe death for adultery. Are you in favor of a proposition banning all promiscuity? Wouldn't that be superior? It would be the proposition to end 'em all... and most people, too.

And no, we don't have to wonder how many people would go missing from the pews if that sentence were enforced... good social science data puts the rate of pre-marital sex (between to-be-marrieds) at about 96%- this has been normative behavior for over 40 years. So, if we conservatively estimate the 4% of abstainers to ALL be churchgoers, and about 30% of folks visit church regularly, then about 85% of those pews would still go empty- more, if you more-reasonably assume churchgoers behave about like everybody else.

If you're going to enforce God's law selectively, then the only reason to target gays (~4% of the population, ironically the same # of folks who abstain til the wedding day) is because they are a convenient target, or because it doesn't affect you. You may feel "sad" about your vote, but I bet you feel better that you did what God said. But that was too easy. How about making the 10 Commandments law? Close all stores on the Sabbath, fine people who are attracted to people other than their own spouse (remember- it's not just the activity- even 'coveting' is banned)... I could go on forever. Strict interpretation of the Bible is no way to run a democracy, especially one that establishes no State religion and is in fact, highly pluralistic.

I just hope you'll think about why you want to enforce this 'one' of God's many banned activities, and not others.

-J. Spagna

_____________

And my response:

Hi Joe,

Thanks for the thought-out response. Makes me think they actually taught us a thing or two about being thinking people at CMC.

First, I need to call you out on your correlation of random statistics, i.e. the one between gays as approximately 4 percent of the population and those who abstain until marriage being about 4 percent. I'm curious: Why'd you pair these up? Why even mention them together?

I’m not disputing your estimates, just the way you used them. If about 4 percent of the population eats tofu cheese, you can’t necessarily cross-reference or correlate that 4 percent with the 4 percent who are gay.

I can only guess why you mentioned this ironic (as you called it) correlation, but I’m sure there are some folks who say to themselves, “Hmm, about 4 percent of truly ‘moral’ folks are judging the 4 percent who make up the gay community as ‘immoral’” … and the wacky, irrelevant comparisons go from there. But my point here is that the gay marriage discussion isn’t—or at least, shouldn’t be—about the church weighing its own “morality” against that of others.

From a biblical perspective, churchgoers themselves don’t have a moral leg to stand on. To use some well-known church language, Christians commit sins just like those who aren’t Christians do. So church folk aren’t the standard; a completely holy God should be the standard. My mention of the death penalty, as prescribed in the Torah, was to further emphasize and illustrate that Christians cannot use their own personal authority in discussing morality.

On legislating biblical morality: This would never be something I’d seek because the United States isn’t a theocracy. The Old Testament shows the history of how the Israelites made a covenant (binding contract) with God: They agreed to obey God’s laws in exchange for God’s blessings. Christians commit to follow the biblical morality of the New Covenant (essentially, the teachings of Jesus Christ)—they enter into an agreement. (This is not to say that Christians hold up their end of the deal, but, as I’ve said, the morality of Christians isn’t the point.) So all of biblical “law” applies only to those who enter into these contracts.

Now, you might ask, if biblical law applies only to those who enter into these contracts, why does the Christian care about voting to eliminate same-sex marriage? For starters, I’ll go back to the idea that every law is the imposition of someone’s value. At present in America, the majority seems to value defining marriage as between a man and a woman. (We’ll see if that’s true in California in a few days.) The minority, in my estimation, is holding up the value of the rights of the individual. That’s a good value, but I don’t think it’s the best one.

Still, if Prop. 8 fails, I’ll be bound to accept the outcome because I’ve also entered into a contract, so to speak, as an American citizen. I get to express my opinion and vote, and in exchange, I agree to abide by America’s laws that are created by the opinion of the majority. In this democracy, my Bible-influenced opinion is equally valid and equally weighted with the opinions of others who’ve been influenced by other things.

You wrote, “I just hope you'll think about why you want to enforce this 'one' of God's many banned activities, and not others.” Yes, of course, I have. There are reasons the Christians church is so vocal about homosexuality and abortion in particular. One major reason: Biblical history shows that God destroys nations when they become too disgusting for him to stand anymore. There’s a reason God offered the Israelites the land of Canaan as their “Promised Land.” Sources outside of the Bible show that the Canaanites were highly promiscuous, incorporating orgies as part of the worship of their gods. There were male and female temple prostitutes—everybody was having sex with everybody. Rape was common, as was sex with children and animals. Children—babies and toddlers up to age 4—were sacrificed as part of idol worship. You could say that Canaan was a very pluralistic society.

You’ve probably heard the argument about the “domino effect” of legalizing gay marriage. I’d note that after Canada made gay marriage legal, they began researching another issue: Should polygamy be legalized?

And then what’s next?

America isn’t Canaan yet. My vote is about trying to not infuriate God for as long as possible because I love my country, too.

I’ve presented an essentially biblical/spiritual argument here, which I recognize will sound absolutely foolish to folks who don’t believe in God. (If one doesn’t believe in God, it’s extremely difficult to accept the idea of a higher morality that goes beyond human morality. Thus, their argument becomes, “Christians think they are morally superior.”) It also won’t resonate with some who do believe in God; they will come to other conclusions. I'd love to hear how folks have reached their own position.

Joe, I do hope you can see I’ve taken considerable time to think this through, as any responsible CMCer should when it comes to their vote.

Best,
Holly

Holly's Thoughts on Proposition 8 (THIS POST TEMPORARILY NOT AVAILABLE)

2008-10-31T14:25:00.000-07:00

Portions of this blog post will be published on the website of Today's Christian Woman magazine. Per my contract with them, I've temporarily removed this post. I will post the link to the TCW piece here in three weeks.
-H

Conversation or Confrontation? Thoughts on Bill Maher's "Religulous"

2008-10-22T10:20:00.000-07:00

Holly's latest blog entry on Today's Christian Woman magazine's website is now up:

Conversation or Confrontation?

Thoughts about Bill Maher’s new movie, Religulous
http://blog.todayschristianwoman.com/walkwithme/2008/10/conversation_or_confrontation.html

To ponder:

1) When you discuss your faith, is it more often a conversation or a confrontation?

2) Do you think confrontation is an effective way of sharing your faith?

3) Consider the expertise of your Christian friends. How could specific friends educate you on topics relating to faith and the church?

4) Have you ever referred a spiritual seeker to a Christian friend when you couldn't answer the seeker's question? Make a list of your Christian friends who might serve as good resources (e.g. professional counselors, apologists, scientists, pastors, those who've experienced suffering such as illness or loss, folks who are able to articulate their faith well, folks who are willing to share their testimonies).

10 Commandments of Blogging

2008-10-16T11:37:00.001-07:00

A reader recently called one of my blog posts "narcissistic." Which I'll interpret as "Holly, you're doing a great job at conveying your thoughts!" per the definition of "blog": an online diary; a personal chronological log of thoughts published on a Web page.

But one never wants to become too cocky, so perhaps a few blogging guidelines would be good for me. The following "Ten Blogging Commandments" are from Evangelical Alliance website. (Thanks, Brooke, for telling me about them!)

Ten Blogging Commandments
1. You shall not put your blog before your integrity.

2. You shall not make an idol of your blog.

3. You shall not misuse your screen name by using your anonymity to sin.

4. Remember the Sabbath day by taking one day off a week from your blog.

5. Honour your fellow-bloggers above yourselves and do not give undue significance to their mistakes.

6. You shall not murder someone else’s honour, reputation or feelings.

7. You shall not use the web to commit or permit adultery in your mind.

8. You shall not steal another person’s content.

9. You shall not give false testimony against your fellow-blogger.

10. You shall not covet your neighbour's blog ranking. Be content with your own content.
Source: http://www.eauk.org/articles/blogging-ten.cfm

Picking the President

2008-09-24T17:11:00.000-07:00

Holly's latest blog entry on Today's Christian Woman magazine's website is now up:

Picking the President

My opinion on this one isn't worth fighting over.

http://blog.todayschristianwoman.com/walkwithme/2008/09/picking_the_president.html

To ponder:
1) Which ideas do you feel are worth fighting over?

2) Which ideas, in your opinion, aren't worth fighting over?

3) Which of your ideas do you invest the most time in? Does most of
your time/effort/energy go to opinions, beliefs, or convictions?

4) Do you think people should discuss their convictions often? Can someone be passionate about their convictions without discussing them with others?

Thoughts for a Teen on Taking Grace for Granted

2008-09-09T10:32:00.000-07:00

Some thoughts I sent to a student from my church's youth group:

I was thinking about the question you asked: Can you ask God to forgive you before you do something wrong?

One way to define sin is: Anything that puts distance between us and God. In other words, sin messes up our relationship with God. This is how it happens: We feel ashamed for something we've done or thought, and we want to hide it from God. Plus, we afraid he'll be angry—that's another reason we try to hide from him. The problem is, when we "hide," only we see it as hiding. We're not actually hidden—God already knows what we've done. When we're trying to hide, we're not talking to God. (Like how you might avoid your mom if you've done something wrong.) That lack of communication puts distance between us and God.

If you ask God to forgive you before you do something wrong, that shows you really don't want to mess up your relationship with God. It means that you love God, and you're concerned about your relationship with him. Still, if you go ahead and disobey God, your actions aren't matching up with what's in your heart.

Here's an example: Imagine that your mom tells you to do your homework before watching TV. You want to obey your mom because you love her. But there's also a TV show on that you really want to watch, and your homework isn't done yet. If you go ahead and watch TV before doing your homework, does that mean you don't love your mom? Of course not. Still, it's disrespectful to break her rule. And, even though you do love her, you didn't show it when you had the choice of obeying or disobeying.

Your actions (watching TV before doing your homework) aren't matching up with what's in your heart (you love your mom and want to obey her).

This is something most—if not all—Christians struggle with. I do. I love God, and I don't want to do things that are disobedient and disrespectful. But sometimes, I do them anyway.

Here's a prayer that might be helpful to you: "Dear God, you know what's in my heart. You know that I really want to obey you, because I do love you and respect you. Help me to match my actions with what's in my heart. When I want to do something that's disrespectful to you, please remind me how much you love me. Remind me of all the great things you've done for me. I don't ever want to put distance between us—I want us to stay close and connected, and I know that means talking with you. Thanks for always listening to me."

Praying for Terrorists: My Jonah Moment

2008-08-30T12:30:00.000-07:00

Holly's latest blog entry on Today's Christian Woman magazine's website is now up:

Praying for Terrorists
Do American Christians have a right to be angry for 9/11?
http://blog.todayschristianwoman.com/walkwithme/2008/08/praying_for_terrorists.html

To ponder:
1) What are some examples of how anger might lead to other behaviors that are sinful?

2) Do you think people can be angry without sinning?

3) Consider the definition of forgive. Do you think it's possible to forgive someone without condoning their actions?

4) Do you think it's possible to forgive someone without restoring or creating a relationship with them?

5) Why, in your opinion, is it difficult to forgive?

"Be" Like Jesus? How Do I "Do" That?

2008-08-29T12:53:00.000-07:00

Ever feel overwhelmed by the goals you're supposed to attain? By the projects you're supposed to finish? By the length of your to-do list, which seems to only be getting longer?

Today, I'm overwhelmed. I started classes on Wednesday and just received my three syllabi for the semester. Hubby and I were on vacation last week, so on this frightful day I unpacked, began to tackle the laundry (which was already overflowing before our vacation), and updated my to-do list (bills need paying, refrigerator is empty, my car needs a smog check immediately). Meanwhile, I'm stressfully thinking about the freelance project I should be working on, which is due next week, as well as my homework for school, which I should be doing, too.

Once I figure out a plan for all this work, I know it won't be impossible. Everything will get done, and it doesn't all need to happen today. But stress still hovers over me, with that gnawing desire to just be finished. And things, as you well know, are never finished.

In my spiritual life, I perpetually feel unfinished. And I resent it. Every time God brings about some big change in me, I want to relax and say, "OK, God, we're done, right?" I wish I could be completely transformed by God, and just done with it. I dread the emotional work and the pain of change that goes along with transformation.

I even try to make to-do lists as a Christian. I look at Jesus and, seeing my benchmark, I think, That's how I'm supposed to live. How can I reach that goal? What do I have to do to get to that point?

Why do I feel compelled to be completely sanctified in this life? It simply isn't possible--so why do I categorize this as yet another goal to be attained, as if there's some spiritual to-do list I can complete?

My pastor says I get wrapped up in "do-ing." This is true: I want to do stuff to grow spiritually, like serving, reading the "right" books, evangelizing, whatever. Just give me the tasks and I'll do them. Instead, my pastor says, I should just "be." This frustrates me to no end. What does it mean to "be"? And, I wonder, what do I have to do in order to be?

I suppose we desire to do stuff because that's what we see in our lives: Everything from our daily tasks to our long-term goals and dreams are measured by how much progress we've made. How many to-do's did we cross off our lists today? Did we do enough work to get a promotion, a good grade, or kudos? Am I a good wife because I got the laundry done and put a hot meal on the table? Am I a good daughter because I called my mom and made plans to get together? Am I a good worshipper because I listened to a sermon on tape, read three chapters of my Bible, and prayed for a sick friend?

As much as I hate endless work, I've realized I'd rather have a to-do list because at least I'm clear on what needs to be done. But to just be? How am I supposed to measure how effective I am at be-ing?

If I could buy into this idea of be-ing, it would be such a relief. Do-ing is an exhausting, unending cycle. After my classes are completed this semester, there will be more classes. After my freelance assignment is turned in, there will be more things to write. And, of course, the laundry will get dirty again.

Like do-ing, be-ing is ongoing, but there seems to be rest in it. It's present tense, in the moment, and without expectation. If I could learn to give God this present moment, to surrender continuously, I wouldn't have to worry about what has been or what will be.

Wouldn't it be wonderful to be content with your present situation, your character, and your life? Wouldn't it be wonderful to say, "Here am I, God. I'm tired of doing. I'm just going to be who you made me to be, and I'll let you be God and change me as you see fit."

I'm not there yet. But I want to be, without trying to figure out how to do this. Right now, a "yoke that's easy" and a "burden that's light" seem like contradictions. My to-do lists aren't easy or light. I hope I can let God show me what he means.

To ponder:

1) Do you measure your relationships with friends and family on how much you do for each other?

2) What do you think it means to "be" a good friend?

3) In your spiritual life, do you feel like you're mostly do-ing, or mostly be-ing?

4) What do you think it means to "just be" with God?

It's No "Secret": We Don't Always Know What We Want

2008-08-05T11:52:00.000-07:00

An H-n-T reader writes:
"I'm a strong Christian, but I tend to struggle with believing in the law of attraction. For instance, I have skydived before, and one day, I thought it would be cool to go again. By the end of that day, I was skydiving. Now, I had the idea and thought more and more about it. Did I get to skydive because I thought about it and I attracted it? Or how was it that God gave this opportunity to me? I want to live for God, but some of The Secret has to be somewhat true, or is it of the devil?"

Holly sez:
Thanks for sharing this example of something you wanted and got. I completely relate, as when I was a New Ager, I deeply believed I could obtain whatever I wanted just by thinking about it. And for a long time, I was amazed when I did get those things. For example, I wanted to be interviewed by my college's alumni magazine, and about a year after I graduated, they published a two-page article on me.

I don't chalk that up to coincidence or good fortune; I know I appeared in the magazine because I wanted to be in it. But I now recognize I wasn't mentally manipulating others to do my will. Getting what I wanted had to do with establishing relationships and subtly expressing my desires. I knew the magazine editor well and was freelancing for him at the time. I'd had many personal conversations with him, and told him how much I loved my full-time job as a reporter for a community newspaper. He happened to appreciate community newspapers and had wanted to feature someone in the alumni magazine who worked in publishing. So even though I never directly said, "Hey, profile me in the magazine!" I got what I wanted because I was seeking out that opportunity.

Of course, no one needs to be so subtle to get what they want. I once asked an employer why I hadn't gotten a promotion, and he told me, "Holly, I didn't know you wanted one." After that, I got promoted into the positions I wanted because: 1) I worked hard and wanted to do well in the company, and 2) my boss knew my goals.

Much of the time, the things we want are available to us if we're willing to work for them and are seeking opportunities. I'd say you got to skydive a second time because you really wanted to do this. You enjoyed your first experience, so you were alert to the opportunity of skydiving again and you made the desire known in some way.

Now for the spiritual perspective: James 1:17 reads, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." This doesn't say, "You'll get everything you want," but it also doesn't say God withholds good things. One thing's for sure: God isn't interested in giving us the bad things we may want.

Before I became a Christian, the things I wanted often weren't good for me. I wanted random guys to notice me or for someone to give me free alcohol. I constantly wanted people to tell me that I was talented, attractive, and cool. Back then, I believed the law of attraction worked because I got those things that I wanted. I got noticed and praised, and for awhile, everything was fun. But soon, I was left feeling painfully empty—the things I wanted were unsatisfying. Worse, I didn't know what I wanted anymore. I felt incompetent, unable to choose good things for myself. When I saw my own lack, I began to believe there had to be a God who was smarter and more competent than me. I wanted that God to give me direction and purpose. It took me nearly 10 years to become humble enough to have a relationship with God; I had to un-learn the habit of trying to control everything and everyone around me.

My friend Kevin says he doesn't believe God says "no" to the good things we want for ourselves. Rather, God says, "Yes—and I have something better for you." In other words, God always gives us the "good and perfect" blessing. The things we want might be good, but they might not be as perfect as what God wants to give us.

My friend Becky had been dating a guy, and that relationship was negatively affecting her relationship with God. When Becky prayed about her desire to have a good relationship with both a boyfriend and with God, God's response was, "Yes, Becky—and I have something better for you." Becky then did a scary thing by letting go of what she thought she'd wanted. She broke up with her boyfriend. She trusted that God would eventually give her a good and perfect relationship with a man. She didn't have to wait long; soon after the breakup, Becky met Trevor, a wonderful Christian man. I had the privilege of attending their wedding.

As for the question: How did God give you that skydiving trip? I'm sure you'll agree that skydiving was a good and perfect gift for you. (Not so much for me—planes, high places, and the feeling of weightlessness all freak me out!) At the moment you had the opportunity to go, you had the resources: perhaps money and time to go, and a body that was healthy enough for the activity. About a year ago, I was able to start dance lessons, and I immediately recognized this was a gift from God. God's given my husband a great job, so there's enough money in our budget for me to dance. Since God's given me the opportunity to work at home, I set my own schedule; thus, I can make time for my dance classes. And God's given me a healthy body, with two legs that are strong enough to jump around.

We need to be willing to talk to God about our desires, and to let go of what we think we want so God can give us something better. I now feel very comfortable praying, "God, these are the things I want with all my heart. You already know what I feel passionate about. And you know what's best for me. Please bless me with the good and perfect gifts that only you can give."

We should have personal goals and desires, and it's OK to make our wishes known to other people. But first, the Christ-follower should talk to God about the things we want. Then he will move us toward the true desires of our hearts and give us something even better than we'd imagined.

To ponder:
1) What do you really want? If you don't know, ask God to help clarify what is good and perfect for you.

2) Gratitude keeps us from becoming entitled and selfish. Make a list of five things for which you're thankful. Next to each, write how you are specifically grateful to God and others.

For example: "I'm thankful for my blogs. Thank you, God, for giving me the opportunity to write them. Thank you for the many people who give me great ideas to write about. I'm especially thankful for my friends Angela and LaTonya, who are always willing to read and edit my posts. Thank you for honest friends who give me truthful feedback. Thank you for providing time for me to write, and for the ability to pull my thoughts together into sentences. Thank you for providing teachers and editors who taught me about grammar and structure, and resources like this computer and the Blogger website that make it possible for me to write. (Wow, I'm so thankful that there are folks who have the ability to design and make stuff like computers and websites!) Thank you, God, for providing me the means to receive so much joy."

MORE:
"The Secret" Versus The Bible

Is the Real "Secret" that Some People Are Better Than Others?

The Meme Challenge, Day Two: Being a Representative of Christ

2008-07-31T11:36:00.000-07:00

(For more on the Meme challenge, see: "Tag, I'm 'It'")

Day 2
On representing Jesus

I sometimes get a little scared when people ask me, “What do you do for a living?” I gauge their reaction, watching their body language as I say, “I’m in seminary right now, and I write for several Christian magazines.” Some people shuffle around uncomfortably, or they look away from me. Some light up with big smiles across their faces. And some nod matter-of-factly, as if I’d said, “I’m a file clerk at the library.”

I get scared because the moment I say it, I know some people will classify me. Some will think I’m judging them because “Christians think they’re perfect” (I’ve been told as much). Others will express enthusiasm that I’m a member of “the club” (I’ve been told something along these lines, too—ew!). I wonder if some Christians will dismiss me because I don't meet their high, holy expectations. And among those who aren't believers, I worry that my words and actions will define Christianity for them; perhaps they won't want to look any further after they've met me!

This scares me because I’m a Christ-follower—I’m not Jesus Christ. I’m one of the king’s messengers, not the king. I’m troubled when I’m told to “be Jesus,” or that I’m the “only Jesus some will ever see.” This too often is a call to act perfect, happy, and complete; we become like the Pharisee in this parable Jesus told:
___________

To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'

"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'

"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted." (Mark 18:9-14)
___________

I want people to see my flaws and shortcomings, so they will understand my need for Jesus—and hopefully, theirs, too. And I really want to become comfortable just being myself, as God created me to be.

To ponder:
1) Why is it difficult to let others see our flaws, shortcomings, needs, and dependence?

2) Consider 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. According to the Apostle Paul, why is weakness important?

3) Why do you need Jesus? How would you explain this to someone?

MORE:
Is the Perfect Christian Coalition My Biggest Critic?

Atheists Get Vocal When Christians Get Arrogant

Generation Exodus: Why do so many young people leave the church?

The Meme Challenge, Day One: Why Does God Allow Suffering?

2008-07-29T14:19:00.000-07:00

(For more on the Meme challenge, see: "Tag, I'm 'It'")

Day 1
On My Biggest Faith Struggle

I wonder why God allows suffering.

There are plenty of good reasons for suffering offered in Scripture: to discipline or to prevent sin (Hebrews 12:7, 11; 2 Corinthians 12:7); to develop perseverance, character and spiritual maturity (Romans 5:3-5; James 1:2-4); to prepare us to comfort others (2 Corinthians 1:3-4); to provide opportunities to share our faith and spread the news about Jesus (Philippians 1:12); to follow Jesus’ example and thus bring honor to him (1 Peter 4:12-14); and to show genuine faith and thus bring honor to God (1 Peter 1:6-7).

And I know we live in a tainted, broken world. Humanity and the entire world is imperfect because, by failing to give proper respect to God, we’ve distanced ourselves from the perfection that is God. Yet the all-powerful God who made us doesn’t force us into obedience. God wants real love and respect—these aren’t real if they’re not given freely (if you had to pay people to be nice to you, could you really call them your friends?). So suffering reminds us that we aren’t self-sufficient, and it can cause us to consider God.

Still, it’s hard to get my head around suffering because of the simple question, “If God is good (if his nature and character is absolutely good) and he loves us, then why does he allow bad things to happen to us?” Parents allow their children to make mistakes, and they punish their kids when they misbehave. But would a good parent punish their good child? Does God allow bad things to happen to people who love him in order to keep things fair, or balanced, so humans won’t automatically obey God out of fear (“If I obey God, nothing bad will ever happen to me.”)? Does suffering keep our love genuine? The questions go on and on.

I’m actually glad I have questions and faith struggles. If I understood everything about an all-knowing, all-powerful deity, I’d either be a deity myself (and I’m quite certain I’m not) or I’d be lying to myself about my ability to comprehend God. To me, doubt is an essential part of faith.

To ponder:
1) What questions do you have about God and suffering?

2) What is your biggest faith struggle?

MORE:
Questioning God: Is It OK to Wonder Why He Allows Suffering?

Room for Doubt: The Faith Crises of Bill Lobdell, Mother Teresa, and Holly

More Thoughts on Faith (Or Lack Thereof)

Tag, I'm "It"

2008-07-29T13:58:00.000-07:00

LaTonya of GospelGal.com tagged me with a meme. A “meme,” apparently, is an idea that’s spread from blog to blog. Which means: I still don’t know what it means.

I will, however, play along, as LaTonya is a good buddy and it seems I’m “it” at the moment. Besides, it's cool to be the it-girl for once.

Here are the rules of this meme:
1) Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2) Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.

3) Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.

4) Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Since I tend to prattle on and on, I’m gonna talk about seven concepts I think about a lot, and I’ll do this over seven days in seven posts. Here are the topics I’ll discuss this week:

-On my biggest faith struggle
-On representing Jesus
-On dancing
-On homosexuality
-On being pro-life
-On community
-On spiritual gifts

Please send me an email if you’d like your blog to get tagged and play this goofy little game. Or you can nominate somebody’s blog that you like (or, perhaps more appropriately, someone you don’t like). I will tag seven people at the end of the week.

Wearing Faith on Our Sleeves

2008-07-24T11:43:00.000-07:00

Holly's latest blog entry on Today's Christian Woman magazine's website is now up:

Secondhand Witnessing
We can’t expect T-shirts, jewelry, and bumper stickers to do all the work.
http://blog.todayschristianwoman.com/walkwithme/2008/07/secondhand_witnessing.html

To ponder:
1) Think about your actions (the way you live) and your friendships (particularly, the way you listen). How do these factor into the way you witness?

2) In The Great Commission (Matthew 28:19-20), Jesus instructs us to "make disciples." What are some attributes of disciples--what does it take to be a disciple? What does it take to make a disciple?

3) Think about someone with whom you'd like to share your faith. How much do you know about them personally? How much time do you spend with them socially? How much do you know about their spiritual background? (For example, how do they view God? How do they view organized religion? If they went to church and/or believed in God in the past, why did they stop?)

4) Some people perceive Christians as snobby perfectionists who look down on others. Sometimes, the most effective way to witness is to reveal where you've struggled and failed, and how God has helped you through rough times. How well do others know you? Think about specific stories that illustrate your struggles/failure so you'll be prepared if you get the opportunity to share these.

Is It Wrong for Abused Spouses to Divorce?

2008-07-22T12:22:00.000-07:00

From Holly's "Walk With Me" blog:

Barbara writes: My marriage ended after 22 years of physical abuse. I took my vows seriously and hung in there, even learned Tae Quan Do to stop the abuse. It still hurts to read about divorce in the Bible and sometimes I wish I had stayed, but I felt my life was in danger by the time I filed. Not easy to do. Marriage is so wonderful when done right and such hell when not.

Holly says: Barbara, thank you for sharing your personal story. It brings up a very important point: God doesn't expect us to stay in physically abusive relationships. While there are passages that instruct Christians to "turn the other cheek," this is about insult, not injury. There's nothing in the Bible that indicates God expects a spouse to continue to be injured.

Instead, the Bible instructs that men should love their wives as Christ loves the church. The passage in Ephesians 5 is often read starting at verse 22, which states that wives should submit to their husbands. But we should also consider verse 21, which says all believers—women and men alike—should "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" (emphasis mine).

Further, 1 Corinthians 13 tells us what love isn't: It's not self-seeking or easily angered, and it doesn't delight in evil.

Love is kind. It always protects.

The Law in the Old Testament instructed the Jewish people to treat each other well. For example, the Law provides very specific instruction on how slaves were to be treated fairly and with kindness. If a man married his slave, he was obligated to always provide her with food, clothing, and sexual relations. If he denied her these things, she was legally able to leave him as a free woman—an example of a woman being free to divorce.

Another example of divorce is found in 1 Corinthians 7:15: If an unbelieving spouse leaves a believer, "let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances." In this passage, the apostle Paul instructs the believer to stay in the marriage unless their unbelieving spouse wants to call it quits. I think it's important for us to recognize we can't expect unbelievers to follow the same moral standards that are set for Christians in the Bible; unbelievers haven't made a commitment to obey God.

In marriage, we publicly make vows to each other before God. Couples make a covenant with each other and with God. If a partner becomes abusive, they've broken the covenant with both their spouse and with God. And if the abusive partner is unwilling to change their behavior, I believe God recognizes the marriage covenant as broken—the abused person is released from their obligation.

Barbara, I hope you will find continued peace and healing.

Thoughts on Same-Sex Marriage & Homosexuality

2008-06-26T14:42:00.000-07:00

Holly's latest blog entry on Today's Christian Woman magazine's website is now up:

Redefining Marriage
“For better or worse” is taking a turn for the worse.
http://blog.todayschristianwoman.com/walkwithme/2008/06/redefining_marriage.html

Additionally, I'm posting a paper on homosexuality that I wrote for my ethics class. Here's the assignment I wrote on:
___________

You are counseling a person who is new to your ministry about their struggles with their sexual orientation. They want to know what you think the Bible teaches about the subject. How would you approach them pastorally as well as morally? Since it is unclear where they are spiritually, you sense the need to also frame the position with reasons that are independent of Biblical teaching. How would you do that?

In summary, how would you defend your understanding of a Biblical position on this issue to someone who shares at least a cursory respect for the authority of Scripture. Then how might you begin to articulate this position for the non-religious person?
___________

To view the paper full screen, click the button on the top far right of the Scribd window.

homosexuality PDF - Upload a Document to Scribd

Authentic (I think) Chile Verde

2008-06-11T23:08:00.000-07:00

"We're Mexican this week," I told my husband. This is a true statement for me: I'm part Mexican, on my paternal grandmother's side. It's not true for my husband, but he knew what I meant. I sometimes plan ethnically themed menus for the week, especially when I hit a specialty grocery store. So some weeks we are Italian (which would be true for hubby, but not me) and some weeks we are Greek (which isn't true for either of us). And a slew of other ethnicities. I used to be a food writer, and I think I can cook just about anything if I have the right recipe.

Shamefully enough, this part-Mexican gal had never made Chile Verde before. I had a good idea of what the recipe should look like, but somehow, finding the right recipe took a lot longer than cooking the chile. I'd love to give credit to the website where I found this; unfortunately, I didn't copy the link and now I can't find it again. Anyhow, thank you to Someone who provided a most excellent recipe. Those who are schooled in Mexican fare can let me know whether this sounds authentic enough.

Chile Verde

Serves 4

3/4 pounds tomatillos, halved
3 garlic cloves, not peeled
2 garlic cloves, peeled and finely chopped
1 jalapeno, seeds and ribs removed, chopped
1 Anaheim or Poblano chili (optional)
1/2 bunch cilantro leaves, cleaned and chopped
2 pounds pork shoulder (also called pork butt), trimmed, cut into 1-inch cubes
1 onion
1 T of chopped fresh oregano or 1 T dried
1 1/4 cups chicken stock
Pinch of ground cloves

Roast tomatillos along with 3 unpeeled garlic cloves, under a broiler 5 to 7 minutes to lightly blacken the skin. Remove from oven, let cool enough to handle. Roast fresh chilies (except jalapenos) over a gas flame or under the broiler until blackened all around.

Puree tomatillos, roasted garlic and chilies, jalapeno, and cilantro in blender.

Season the pork cubes generously with salt and pepper. Brown pork chunks well on all sides. Remove from pan, pour off excess fat.

Cook onion and 2 cloves garlic in the same skillet until limp. Add pork back to the pan (or transfer to a stock pot). Add oregano, chile verde sauce, pinch of cloves, and enough chicken stock to cover the meat.

Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to a low simmer. Cook for 2-3 hours uncovered or until the pork is fork tender. Adjust the seasoning to taste with salt and pepper.

Notes:

We ate the chile with fresh tortillas from a local Mexican restaurant (since I haven't yet attempted to make homemade tortillas), topped off with Crema Salvadorena from a Mexican grocery store, which is a type of sour cream. It's probably sacrilege to put crema on chile, but we had it on hand and Hubby likes it.

The chile can be served with rice.

I regrettably used chicken bouillon instead of broth. Was a bit too salty for my taste, but Hubby seemed to like it that way.

Recipe was originally for eight servings; halving it worked fine, so if you double the above ingredients, you're right back at the original.

Strictly for the Hard Core: "Radical Obedience"

2008-06-02T11:40:00.000-07:00

I found a way to post my academic papers online! Thus, H-n-T is getting a new special feature: "Strictly for the Hard Core." I'll put these online perhaps once a month or every other month.

This paper was written for my "Survey of the New Testament" class. It is an examination of Matthew 5:17-20, where Jesus speaks about the Law in the Sermon on the Mount. Please feel free to use this for small groups or Bible studies--there are questions at the end to aid in discussion.

To view the paper full screen, click the button on the far right of the Scribd window.

NT Research - Upload a doc

Questioning God

2008-05-28T11:21:00.000-07:00

Holly's latest blog entry on Today's Christian Woman magazine's website is now up:

Questioning God
Is it OK to wonder why he allows suffering?
http://blog.todayschristianwoman.com/walkwithme/2008/05/questioning_god.html

To ponder:
1) What are some questions you have for God?

2) Which ones have you asked? Which ones are you hesitant to ask?

3) Do you agree or disagree that it's OK to be completely honest with God?

4) Consider the last sentence of the blog post: "To get to real faith, I need to start with real doubt." Do you agree or disagree? How do you back up your answer?

Mystery Grab Bag

2008-05-27T13:20:00.000-07:00

I've been in a happy-dappy celebration mood for the past week. Last Tuesday, I took my last exam of my first semester of seminary.

Didn't think I'd make it. School is significantly more challenging (read: more work) than I thought it would be. When my professor said to me on my second day of classes, "How are you?" I looked at him with glazed, dazed eyes and replied, "I don't know why I'm here."

And I meant it. I'm not sure how I landed in seminary, and my emotions have fluctuated from unworthiness to awed gratitude. Mostly the latter. So last Tuesday, I handed in my exam and waltzed out of class. I pumped my fists in the air and squiggled around a bit. (I would have danced, but unfortunately my school frowns on that practice unless it's choreographed. And my happy dance would have been entirely ad lib.)

Suddenly, I felt very wiggly, and realized this wasn't the happy dance--it was the potty dance. Apparently, exams have that effect on me.

I popped into the ladies room and immediately was drawn not to the potty, but to a basket full of polka-dotted goody bags. Above them was a sign that said "take one," and explained these were from the women's activities coordinator. Exuberant, I grabbed one.

As soon as I had the bag in my hand, I noticed there was one open bag. Hmm, I thought, looks like someone's been choosing which goodies they wanted in their bag. I was tremendously tempted to peek inside, but decided I liked the idea of this surprise gift. So I completed my bathroom tasks and went on my way, my goody bag in tow.

I'm not so great with surprises, so as soon as I was out of the bathroom door, I ripped into my goody bag. Inside was a pack of cheddar crackers, snack-size Snickers and Butterfinger candy bars, and a full-size bag of Skittles. Jackpot! I'd already crammed three crackers into my mouth when the thought hit me: What was in those other goody bags? Were there things I would have perhaps enjoyed even more?

I shook my head at the silly thought. This bag was a gift. I didn't do anything to earn it, really--I just showed up in the gals' bathroom at the right time. And when I'd ripped it open, I'd been thrilled. It was crummy that the thought of "what did other people get" was ruining my goody bag experience.

Then I took a hard look at the bag. The bag itself was beautifully cheerful; it even included my favorite colors. The crackers were incredibly satisfying; after taking that long test, I'd been ravenous. And Snickers is my favorite candy bar. Everything in the bag had been good, and some things were particularly delightful to me.

Having just taken my last seminary exam, I naturally made a quick spiritual application: My fabulous goody bag was like the gifts God gives me. They include stuff I like and stuff that helps me. In many ways, I can see how God's gifts to me are perfect. But sometimes, I wonder about those other "goody bags." What did God give to others? Would I have enjoyed their goody bags more than my own?

Then I thought back on my first semester of seminary. I was immediately filled with that familiar awed gratitude. The goodies God gave me--my talents, my personality, my appearance, my God-given blessings--are perfect for me. They are treats, and they are also gifts; I wasn't entitled to any of the goodies. I'm gonna work on being happy with my own bag. And I'm gonna work on being happy that everyone else has treats, too, without begrudging that theirs are just as good as mine.

To ponder:
1) Do you ever feel dissatisfied with the life God's given you? Do these feelings ruin your enjoyment of stuff you know is good in your life?

2) Why do you think it's so hard for people to be content?

3) What are some things that remind you life is good?

4) Make a list of 10 things for which you're grateful. Try to include a mix of internal (stuff you like about yourself) and external (stuff you like about your circumstances) blessings.

Vatican Welcomes ET Into the Fold

2008-05-17T17:59:00.000-07:00

Father Gabriel Funes, director of the Vatican Observatory, says it's possible intelligent beings exist in outer space.

Funes' article, "Aliens Are My Brother," was recently published in the official Vatican newspaper. Funes says belief in aliens doesn't contradict belief in God, since aliens would be part of God's creation.

Some years ago, my husband and I were watching a documentary about UFOs on the SciFi channel. I'd never given any thought to whether aliens exist, but my ears perked up when a Christian theologian said that if aliens were discovered in outer space, their planets would be a new place where Christians should take the gospel. The words popped out of my mouth, "Honey, I could be an alien missionary!"

So if we ever do make first contact, I guess I've got my calling.

Full Story:
Vatican Says Aliens Could Exist

What Would Jesus Donate?

2008-05-08T19:21:00.000-07:00

I came down with strep this week, so you'll have to pardon the cheesy post title ("What Would Jesus Donate?"). At least, I can only assume it's cheesy since I've taken four Advils (doctors orders), and at the moment, every word I type seems inspired. Erudite. Shakespearean, even. Which can't be true.

In any case, I momentarily feel fabulous and life seems grand. (Someone should call my accountability partner and have her make sure I'm not still taking four Advils next week.)

Getting sick is a good reminder of how awful it is to be sick. I've been trying to prevent the pain of illness for others by not touching doorknobs and by washing my hands every five seconds. (OK, not literally five, but close enough. Remember, I'm on Advil--time and space have no meaning.) Pain, bad. This week, I discovered a FREE way to alleviate the pain of others ... well, it's free for the next eight days.

Tara Tierney, a gal from the National Marrow Donor Program, has asked me to post the link to marrow.org on my blog. (Lookee that, I just posted it!) And she asked me to tell you something about how it's a national registry that matches up marrow donors with patients. Something about how you could save a life. And something about how it usually costs $52 to register (to cover the cost of the test that types your marrow), but thanks to a generous donation, it's FREE ... for the moment. So act quickly.

At least, I think Tara wrote something like that. I only half read her email because the words were dancing the tango on the page. Again, the Advil.

To make sure, you might check out marrow.org yourself. I plan to register, since I can't resist anything that's free. Saving a life for free is way cool. But I plan to wait until I'm strep-less; nobody wants anything out of my body until I'm germ-free. Free is good.

I'm going to make sleepy now, until it's time to take more Advil. You go look at the linky.

Straight Talk About Money

2008-04-23T16:38:00.000-07:00

Holly's latest blog entry on Today's Christian Woman magazine's website is now up:

Straight Talk About Money
Churches need to be forthcoming about financial matters
http://blog.todayschristianwoman.com/walkwithme/2008/04/straight_talk_about_money.html

To ponder:
1) Is it difficult for you to think about your own financial situation? Is this a topic you tend to avoid?

2) Do you have a hard time asking your church staff for a budget for church projects? Do you tend to pay for church items yourself?

3) Why do you think it's so difficult for people to discuss money? What are some benefits of speaking candidly on this topic?

Making Fun of Christians

2008-04-17T15:31:00.000-07:00

Ever felt naughty as you read or watched something that pokes fun at the Christian church?

Personally, I don't like nasty remarks, masked as jokes, about God or Jesus. In that sense, I could understand why Muslims were up in arms about those Danish cartoons of Muhammad.

But I greatly enjoy and seek out satire and parodies about Christians and the church. Up until recently, the publications and shows I'd check out were about Christians, but not written by Christians. It's very interesting for me to see this perspective, and I think it's helped me understand the animosity some, particularly atheists, have for the Christian church.

Wouldn't recommend this for everyone. You've got to have a thick skin, and be able to recognize there's something to be learned from both the mean jokes and your own reaction to them. And you've got to be willing to mentally process the comments, and not just absorb them. (That's my biggest challenge.)

I've recently come across something I hadn't seen before: Christian parody, written by Christians. One website, larknews.com, was featured in Time magazine. Time wrote that Joel Kilpatrick, the 35-year-old churchgoing Evangelical who created the site, "developed a keen sense of the distinction between the Christian message (not inherently funny) and what he calls its social, institutional and political 'scaffolding' (a big target)."

Similarly, Simon Jenkins, editor of the UK Christian humor webzine shipoffools.com, said in an interview, "We think Christians should be restless about the state of the church today, and stirring up unrest in the wider world as well. We want to ask: isn't there a better way to do Christianity than this?"

(Incidentally, I found Ship of Fools through an article from a Christian newswire service. The feature I read was to vote for your favorite worst Christian LP cover; if you go vote, tell me which one you picked.)

I've just discovered the Wittenburg Door, a Christian parody magazine which apparently has been around since I was born. Look forward to checking that one out.

Jenkins said many Christians are uncomfortable mixing humor and the church, and I'm starting to think it's good to be a little uncomfortable.

MORE:
Laughing with Evangelicals: Joel Kilpatrick of LarkNews.com satirizes only the ones he loves (Christianity Today)

Am I Good Enough for God's Purposes?

2008-04-17T13:30:00.000-07:00

I've been working on a research paper about the Sermon on the Mount, which I hope will be useful to small group leaders. Just knowing that someone will read the paper, and potentially teach based on my research, has caused waves of anxiety. I've studied the writings of a dozen prominent Christian theologians, pastors, and professors, who've all offered similar interpretations of Jesus' Sermon. Yet I question, What if I'm misunderstanding their words? What if I just don't get it? What if I give those small group leaders bad information?

My fears reminded me of a recent conversation with a friend who's been called into ministry. She told me she was afraid of not knowing enough, not being prepared to do what God wanted her to do. I've had similar discussions with many Christians who are petrified they will appear ignorant of their own faith. So, rather than sharing their faith with folks who aren't believers, or having the conversations with other Christians that lead to spiritual growth, we keep mum. Silence seems a better option than exposing ourselves as people who don't have all the answers.

I told my friend that God would be continuously preparing her, and this was "on the job" training. I told her she had the constant guidance and help of the Holy Spirit, who could give her words that she didn't even know she had--and shut her mouth when necessary. (The latter is one of my regular prayers: "Holy Spirit, shut me up if I'm about to do damage.")

And I told her about one of my major mistakes. Some years ago, I used the words of the Apostle Paul to prove a point I was making about salaries for church workers. Or, I should say, I misused Paul's words. Truthfully, I didn't even know I was making a mistake, but as soon as I'd made the comparison, something was gnawing at my spirit. So I immediately re-read Paul's words. On studying the passage carefully, my mistake was verified. Straight away, I went to the people I'd been speaking with and informed them of my mistake. Yes, I was very embarrassed. But God used that occasion to re-focus me on his will, and to show me I'd been more interested in my ideas than his.

Ever since, I've always prayed before inserting Scripture into my writing. And I never use it to prove my point. God gave us his Word as the example of absolute truth--we can measure any other statement against it. We can use it to correct errors, but only as long as the Bible is the standard. We must never use the Bible to promote our personal opinions as "truth."

I was recently quoted in two sermons, which also terrified me. Then today, I remembered that 12 years ago, before I became a Christian, I was quoted in another sermon. There had been a huge fire in the town where I'd lived and worked as a reporter, and the area was evacuated. In response, I'd written a piece about hope, community, and perseverance. That pastor didn't tell me he'd planned to quote my story, and I wasn't in attendance when he gave the sermon. But I sure heard about it afterward. People from that church approached me and thanked me for the uplifting words.

This was baffling, since I'd felt tremendous hostility toward the Christian church at the time. Why would they find my words uplifting?

God used this back then to soften my heart a bit. And he used it today to remind me he can use anything--and anyone--at any time he desires. Even me: flaws and fears included.

To ponder:
1) Do you sometimes feel you aren't ready to discuss your faith?

2) Are you ever afraid to talk with other Christians, worried they might think less of you for your lack of knowledge about the Bible?

3) What do you do when these fears hit?

4) If you're feeling insufficient or incapable, pray this:

God, honestly, I think you can't use me. I don't feel ready. I don't feel good enough. It seems like I never will be.

But I recognize that you are God. You are bigger than me. You are strong and awesome. You have the ability--and the right--to use anybody you want for your purposes.

Please give me the courage to speak about you. Please help me to grow into a courageous Christ-follower. Please prepare me for whatever you have in store. Help me to recognize this is on-the-job training. Keep me from feeling overwhelmed at the stuff I feel I lack.

I'm all yours. Amen.

Please Pray ...

2008-04-12T16:35:00.000-07:00

Dear H-n-T readers:

I want to share burden I have with you: I found out several friends lost their jobs in the recent downsizing of Los Angeles Newspaper Group (LANG) publications.

Please pray for my friends Gina, Marc, and Walter.

I don't know the exact count, but perhaps 70 people from LANG publications lost their jobs within the last few weeks. Other than the Los Angeles Times, LANG owns pretty much every newspaper in Southern California and the company has a hiring freeze right now. The folks who are out of work are really struggling to find available positions.

I worked at a LANG publication, The Daily Bulletin, in the late 90s. It breaks my heart to see amazingly talented reporters and photographers, who already work for breadcrumbs, struggling this way. Additionally, since LANG isn't rehiring anytime soon, the employees that are still there are under tremendous stress, some doing the job of two or three people without any extra compensation. This is an industry where addiction is common, and it's not unusual for journalists to die young.

Please pray for all who've lost their jobs and for those still working at the newspapers.

Thanks,
Holly

What Ever Happened to Community News?

2008-04-11T20:57:00.000-07:00

A heads-up to regular H-n-T readers: I'm straying from my usual discussion of issues related to faith and the Christian church today. In light of a recent string of layoffs and firings within the Los Angeles Newspaper Group, in which my friend Walt Weis was let go, I wanted to make some observations about the decline of community newspapers, particularly The Inland Valley Daily Bulletin. I grew up with this newspaper and worked there for three years as a reporter, a copy editor, and a page designer. I'm one of the few people who can actually speak openly on this topic without fear of getting blacklisted from the newspaper industry. 'Cause I'm never going back.

I posted the following in response to an article on the decline of Southern California community newspapers in L.A. Weekly; it's also on L.A. Weekly's site:

I'm an Ontario native. My parents were both born in the Inland Empire. They, and everyone in our extended family, had always subscribed to the Daily Report/Daily Bulletin. Not anymore.

That's because its local quality is gone. My parents are working-class folk who didn't want The [Los Angeles] Times. Or The [San Bernardino County] Sun: They wanted to see photos and stories of people within their own community. We have now-yellowed, faded clippings from old Report/Bulletin issues. These include a photo of me at age 3, at Guasti Regional Park. It was taken by Bob Swetnam, a Progress-Bulletin photographer. I never met Mr. Swetnam, but my friend Walt Weis worked at the paper for enough years that perhaps he knew him.

In my youth, I thought of the reporters and photographers at the Report/Bulletin as hometown heroes. My parents recognized their names from reading them daily. These local journalists were well-respected for their tireless work to keep us informed about the happenings in our community.

In 1997, I was thrilled to land a position at my hometown paper, The Daily Bulletin. I still remember introducing my parents to some of the journalists, including Walt. For Mom and Dad, it was like meeting celebrities. (Literally: "WOW! That's the Walt Weis whose name we see in the paper!") That was a wonderful time at the Bulletin: I didn't make much money, but I felt treasured as an employee. Donrey held regular thank-you luncheons for us, and we had monthly clips and photo contests where we were recognized with certificates--and money!--for excellent work. (I loved these paper pats-on-the-back, and still have my stack of certificates.) There was even respect and well-wishing for employees who were moving on: The company bought cakes and gave farewell parties on their last day.

Morale was sky high; personally, I jumped out of bed every morning, excited to get to work. One of my most treasured possessions is a Quill pen with the Donrey logo--employees received this for their one-year anniversary. Lest anyone think I'm overstating how great the Bulletin was during this time, I could refer you to my current pastor: I once called his cell in a panic because I'd thought I lost my "lucky pen" at church! Most of my years at the Bulletin are an excellent memory.

Most of them. When the Los Angeles Newspaper Group (LANG) merger occurred in the summer of 1999, I knew it was time to leave. There was talk of downsizing, specifically within the entertainment/lifestyle department where I worked. As I understand it, these departments are essentially gone now; the articles for these sections are either wire pieces or are written by writers from other papers. But why would anyone pay for this material in the Bulletin when they can read it online for free? My family--and many readers I met as a Bulletin reporter--subscribed to the paper largely for the localized angle, which offered information on OUR restaurants and attractions, OUR events. Our people. The Bulletin even provided recipes from local chefs and housewives. We had stories about the hot styles that actually were trends in the Inland Valley--complete with local models. Our neighbors were the ones featured and photographed in health, food, fashion, and auto stories. We had photos of locally restored and souped-up cars, the ones you'd actually see driving down Euclid Avenue or Foothill Boulevard. Maybe talking about capris being in style wasn't unique, but the quotes about this trend were from residents of Ontario, Upland, Rancho, etc. And the photo of the girl wearing the capris was of a local teen. Yes, Mr. Singleton, that photo of our neighbor's daughter actually sold newspapers. [William Dean Singleton is the founder of MediaNews Group, which includes LANG.]

Obviously, interacting with the community was a lot of work. But it was so worth it when a mother would come into the office and buy a stack of newspapers because her child had been featured. My biggest heartbreak was the disappearance of the Bulletin's "Kids" section, which Shannon Guthrie and I built from scratch as a way to encourage young people to read. Actually, Shannon pushed me into it, but I was thankful for her vision and the Bulletin's willingness to take a risk back then. It was very popular--so much so, Donrey interviewed Shannon and me on how we created the section! Donrey used our success as a model for their other newspapers. Again, here was a section that featured local teens and kids, for which we received tremendous feedback from the community, and it additionally served a higher purpose. Yet it was one of the first sections to fall after the merger.

I'm baffled about the decision to un-localize: to use wire stories and pieces by out-of-area reporters to "save money." To "save the community papers." Articles about locals--and the accompanying feeling of ownership--was the Bulletin's main selling point. As was the celebrity and relationship with familiar, long-time writers and photographers, such as Walt Weis. I'm guessing other locals were as disappointed in the Bulletin's changes as my parents: The Bulletin's daily edition circulation for March 1997 is listed as just over 57,000 on the MediaNews Group website--that's nearly a third lower than it was a decade previous, when I went to work there.

As a reporter back then, I did most interviews face-to-face with community members, because that's how I was taught to do it at the Bulletin. People were excited to meet me. I developed a deeper appreciation for the community that gave me a job, and they in turn developed a deeper love for their local newspaper.

Yes, I know things have changed since then. Yes, I know it's about advertising, not subscription, dollars. But in a day when news about everything is readily available, yet people can't find the news that matters most to them, local papers with a local angle surely could be the new, hot commodity. If, indeed, Dean Singleton truly and nobly wants to save the local papers, then he must save the format, too. Let MSN.com give readers all the AP stories. Give my parents and their neighbors the story about their friend who makes the best strawberry jam in town. That's what they long to read.

Mr. Singleton, I'd like to appeal to your sense of leaving a legacy for a moment. People long for community. We lack community. There is little that ties us to our neighbors anymore, and as much as we'd like to know one another, we lack a basis on which to connect. You hold an incredible medium to bring people together. As the owner of most SoCal newspapers, you could do something huge that would bring people together. Unite 'em by reminding them of their shared experience, and showing them who their neighbors are.

There was a mass exodus after I left the Bulletin. I'm sad to hear that great talents who hung on, like Walt, were given the boot despite their loyalty. Walter took my wedding photographs, for free, because that's the kind of guy he is. He well knew my situation as a writer who was struggling to pay the rent AND eat because he'd lived it for decades.

[The following paragraph is in response to another comment on L.A. Weekly's website.] Lastly, as a college-educated writer, and as the daughter of a blue-collar union worker, I'm tremendously distressed that someone, who apparently works for LANG, is mocking journalists as "people with college degrees who think they deserve better than what them dumb union hacks get." This is an all-around insult to hard-working people of every situation. Mr. Singleton and Mr. Lambert [Lambert is the current Bulletin editor], if you know who wrote this comment, it is morally incumbent upon you to correct this attitude. Journalists dedicate their lives to giving far more than they'll ever receive. None of your employees deserves such disrespect.

I've posted my full name so as to be accountable for my words, and to encourage LANG journalists who have memories of your own glory days. You are amazing: Persevere!

MORE:
Singleton's "Small-Town L.A." Papers Nosedive:
Suburban coverage hit hard as the Press-Telegram, Daily News, Daily Bulletin, others, falter

Hindu Leaders Take Issue with Christianized Yoga

2008-03-31T11:44:00.000-07:00

"It’s hypocrisy of the highest order. I don’t understand how anyone can teach yoga from a Christian background. It is an indisputable fact that yoga has its origins in the East and in Hinduism."

--Ashwin Trikamjee, head of the South African Hindu Maha Sabha, criticizing Winnie Young, a Catholic spiritual teacher and long-time yoga instructor who says yoga is a way to find God, in an article in The Times (South Africa). Young, who is the author of a book Yoga for the Christian, acknowledges there are Hindu beliefs in yoga which Christians cannot accept. Several Hindu leaders have taken issue with Young's yoga practices, emphasizing yoga should be practiced with its complete, original philosophy and should not be altered.

Full Story:
Hindu leaders slam yoga for Christians (The Times, South Africa)

More:
Holly says: Recently found out I was cited in the yoga section of the 2007 Updated and Expanded edition of Alternative Medicine: The Christian Handbook (Zondervan) by Dónal O'Mathúna and Walt Larimore, M.D. (Excerpt from the book.)

R U Down? Getting Our Groove On for Sudan

2008-03-26T14:48:00.001-07:00

My church, Marina Christian Fellowship, began supporting an orphanage in Sudan two years ago. Now, we're partnering with world-renown DJs, who will donate their services and hold raves in Los Angeles, New York, and Miami to support the Sudan project. This partnership has been dubbed "SuDance."

My pastor, Kevin Robertson, is the driving force behind this. But this is beyond the boldness of one man--I believe this is a God-thing. Let me give you some background from the church's website:

"In late 2005, Empowering Lives International was granted 50 acres of land in Southern Sudan. Marina Christian Fellowship raised and donated $30,000 to begin construction of a school center in the town of Kolmerek. After visiting Sudan in February of 2006, Pastor Kevin Robertson made a commitment to the people of Sudan to raise support for the school and orphanage. As a result we now have 180 children receiving education and hot meals. Fifteen orphans have been identified and are receiving daily meals and personal care."

Let me explain: My church has about 120 in attendance on any given Sunday. I clearly remember the Sunday when Kevin said he believed God wanted our church to build a school for the orphanage. This wasn't ambitious-sounding--it was, well, ludicrous and impossible by most estimations. We're a tiny church. How could we take on such a huge project?

Somehow, the money came in, largely from a few anonymous donors. Then Kevin announced he was going to Sudan to visit the orphanage. We're talking a white American in war-torn Sudan here. Kevin was scared, to say the least. I also clearly remember the church staff putting together a plan for how they'd carry on if Kevin died. When he hugged his wife at the airport, it was a very real consideration he might not come back.

He returned, totally pumped up. More donations came in, including some large ones from other churches. The following year, Kevin and his wife, Jennifer, headed back to Sudan. They came back even more enthusiastic about the orphanage.

Earlier this year, Kevin was approached by two DJs: AJ Mora, who was a resident DJ at L.A.'s DOME in the mid-90s, was a regular on Groove Radio, and continues to DJ on Powertools (KPWR 105.9 in Los Angeles); and Scott Blackwell, who started the Saturday Night Dance Party on Hot 103 (now Hot 97) in New York. AJ and Scott wanted to help raise money for the Sudan orphanage, and proposed getting their DJ buddies together for this effort: SuDance.

SuDance is supported by our church superintendent and our denomination's leaders. But it should be understood Kevin is putting his reputation as a minister on the line in this partnership, since the raves will be for a mainstream audience (these aren't "Christian" or "church" events) that will be held in clubs that serve alcohol.

I personally support Kevin and SuDance and stand by the partnership. I believe God is the motivator behind Kevin, AJ, Scott, and all who will contribute to benefit Sudanese orphans.

I'll post more about the project and the events as this develops. A website is currently under construction, http://sudanceglobal.org/. If you're interested in reading more about the Sudan orphanage, or to donate to it, check out Empowering Lives International (the photo above is of children from Empowering Lives Children's Home in Kolmerek, Sudan).

A Partnership Made in Heaven?

2008-03-26T14:18:00.000-07:00

Holly's latest blog entry on Today's Christian Woman magazine's website is now up:

A Partnership Made in Heaven
Should churches team up with secular groups for a cause they both value?
http://blog.todayschristianwoman.com/walkwithme/2008/03/a_partnership_made_in_heaven.html

To ponder:
1) Do you think churches should or shouldn't team up with non-church groups? What evidence do you have for your opinion?

2) How would you respond to the hypothetical situations listed in the first paragraph of the blog? Why would you accept--or refuse--the donation in each case?

3) What are some issues that are debated in your church? (These might be anything from what flavor of ice cream to serve at church socials, to whether to remodel the sanctuary, to how much your pastors get paid.) How does your church reach a compromise, or at least, keep the peace?

What's Your Evidence for the Existence of God?

2008-03-22T22:00:00.000-07:00

I believe in Christianity as I believe that the Sun has risen, not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.
--C.S. Lewis, from "Is Theology Poetry?" in The Weight of Glory.

This week, I asked a student from my church, "What evidence do you have for the existence of God?" Honestly, I was hoping he'd mention something he'd learned in our youth group. (He didn't.) But I was still pretty pleased to hear his answer: prophecy. He went on to tell me some stuff he'd learned on The History Channel. Apparently, The History Channel is a better teacher than I am.

After I got over the initial blow to my ego, I started to wonder: Could I answer that question myself? What evidence would I give? This week I also read an interview with Michael Shermer, the founding publisher of Skeptic magazine. Shermer had become a Christian in high school, then turned away from his faith in graduate school because atheism (or "skepticism," as he dubs it) seemed intellectually superior.

This is partly why I challenged my teenage friend. He is extremely bright, and while I hardly want to be the one to provoke him to a "crisis of faith," I know he'll encounter doubt sooner or later. As soon as I'd asked him the question, I knew I'd better be prepared to offer an answer myself.

It was--to my delightful surprise--very easy for me to outline my reasons for belief in God. My evidence was collected essentially in this sequence, following my own crisis of faith as a teen:

1) Logic of a higher power. It seems rational and logical to think there is something greater than humanity--a higher power. If there were no higher power--nothing greater than ourselves to seek--life would be meaningless and absurd. What's the point in living to die without any purpose beyond living itself?

2) Nature, including the way I perceive it. The world around me appears designed. When I look at nature--really stop to contemplatively look--I'm always awed.

3) A transparent, authentic Christian. I met Penny during my crisis of faith. I admired her and wanted to understand what motivated her natural and total trust in God, and her complete surrender to him. In particular, I wanted her joy: She had a positive attitude despite negative circumstances.

4) A sense of God's presence and direction. There were too many "coincidental" exchanges and interactions in my life to be mere dumb luck.

5) Statements made about God's presence by people I trust. Why would God's presence feel real for so many people if it wasn't really real? The idea of "mass delusion" seems as plausible to me as the idea no one truly exists (ie. we only perceive we are here interacting with one another.) There are many things children stop believing as they age, yet the concept of a higher power persists among the vast majority.

6) The influence of Jesus Christ. He's recognized historically. He's recognized philosophically. He's recognized spiritually by all major world religions.

7) Jesus as deity: His own statements as recorded in the Gospels.

8) C.S. Lewis' rationale for Jesus as true deity: his Lord/liar/lunatic argument.

9) Biblical prophecy regarding the Messiah and fulfillment in the person and life of Jesus Christ.

10) Physical evidence. Seeing artifacts (such as the Dead Sea Scrolls) and learning about the historical and cultural background of biblical times reinforces biblical events as factual.

11) Christian martyrs. The willingness of members of the early church--and of those in the persecuted church today--to die for their faith in Christ.

I love the evidence--physical, intellectual, and relational--God has provided in my life. I love that he allowed me to weigh the evidence and come to my own conclusion. And I particularly love the way he continues to provide exactly what I need, when I need it. After reading a little more about Michael Shermer (it always makes me feel crummy when atheists/agnostics/humanists suggest Christians are naive folk who can't think for themselves), I came across another article by atheist-turned-Christian Alister McGrath:

Breaking the Science-Atheism Bond
As an atheist turned Christian, I know atheism is not the only conceivable worldview for a thinking person.

I'm thankful God has stuck me in seminary right now, so I have access to great resources for my teen-age friend. I figure he'll be out-thinking me soon enough. Who knows--maybe I've got the next Alister McGrath or C.S. Lewis under my wing--and maybe he'll soon be writing stuff that helps me grow spiritually.

To ponder:
1) Do you believe it's possible to be an "intellectual" and a Christian? How would you respond if someone suggested Christians are brainwashed, naive, ignorant or just plain dumb?

2) What evidence do you have for the existence of God?

3) How can you use your evidence to help others?

(Holly says: "I wouldn't just hand someone my list then expect them to say, "Wow, now that I've read this, I believe!" However, I can use my experiences as suggestions others might consider during a crisis of faith. And I can reflect on the people who have influenced my own faith, and try to offer to others what friends like Penny gave me: honest reflections on my own struggles, doubts, and fears, and real-life stories of how God has supported and sustained me.")

Real-Life Bible Lesson Reveals Real Treasure

2008-03-14T22:22:00.000-07:00

I just experienced a couple real-life illustrations of Bible verses. Unfortunately.

Last night, I opened my jewelry box to grab my favorite bracelet. It wasn't there. I'm one of those compulsively organized people who has "a place for everything, and everything in its place," so I was puzzled the bracelet wasn't in its designated spot.

As I began searching for it, I gleefully thought, I'm like the woman in the parable of the lost coin. What a great, illustrative experience! I figured I'd quickly find the bracelet, rejoice that it had been recovered, and I'd call my friends to happily share how I'd lived out the parable. But after searching in all the logical places, and then some illogical ones, I became concerned. Alarmed. Upset. Two hours passed. Just before I went to bed, I sadly told my husband that I'd lost the bracelet he bought me.

He'd been elated when he purchased it. But I'd been upset after seeing the receipt. It had cost a pretty penny, and it didn't seem wise to spend so much on a silly little accessory. As he wrapped it around my wrist and fastened the clasp, all I could think about were the dollars that thing had drained from our checking account. Later, I complained about the expenditure to a single girlfriend. "Wow, it must be tough to have a husband who surprises you with expensive jewelry," she said with an obvious roll of her eyes. (That rightly made me feel like a jerk.)

So I started wearing the bracelet. Every time I put it on, I thought about how my husband valued me. Extravagantly. That made me feel good, and I gotta admit, the bracelet looked gorgeous on me. I began to love my special treasure. Still, I didn't wear it often, since I was terrified of scratching it or losing it.

Reality is setting in today: My bracelet is gone. I wish I'd worn it every day. I wished I'd expressed more gratitude when my husband gave it to me. I wish I could find it, if only to recognize its non-monetary value. I think about my husband, who never goes shopping and doesn't even buy his own clothes, selflessly walking into the mall. Joyfully picking out the piece he knew would look so perfectly delicate and elegant on my wrist. Gleefully presenting it to me on Christmas morning, with the box covered in crumpled, uneven gift wrap. ("I wrapped it myself," he'd proclaimed. That made me smile.)

Hubby squeezed me tight today, reminding me that his love hasn't gotten lost. And the words of Matthew 6:19-21 comforted me: "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. Store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Admittedly, it drives me nuts to lose something so valuable. I hope this teaches me to take care of what I own. But more importantly, I hope I'll recognize my stuff isn't my real treasure.

To ponder:
1) Think about your stuff. Is there something that would make you sad if it was lost, broken, or stolen?

2) Think about how you take care of your stuff (i.e. detailing your car, keeping your clothes perfectly pressed, organizing your music collection). How much time do you spend caring for your stuff? In comparison, how much time do you spend caring for people?

3) Is there someone in your life who has done something valuable for you, and you haven't expressed gratitude?

4) Think about the gratitude you've expressed (or haven't expressed) recently to God. Are there things you need to say to him right now?

What's Your Favorite Easter Candy?

2008-03-07T15:52:00.001-08:00

This blog is so serious all the time! The last person to comment made a joke about the Easter bunny, which got me thinking about candy. Thank you, Anonymous poster, for causing me to lighten up on this blog for a moment. So here's a question for H-n-T readers:

What's your favorite Easter candy?

I LOVE Peeps. Love them. I don't eat them year-round, though it seems they're available almost every season these days. Which is wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. They are solely my special Easter treat. And yes, I do eat all 15 by myself. My mom still makes Easter baskets for me and my husband, and I tend to eat my husband's Peeps, too. I. Love. Peeps.

There's a Peeps-making machine, which I'm somewhat tempted to buy, except that "homemade" Peeps surely can't compare to those store-bought, cellophane-wrapped delights. And the machine costs $14.99. I could buy a whole lotta Peeps for 15 bucks.

(If I have a kid, they are getting this costume. In fact, I think some of my friends' kids will be getting this from Auntie Holly ... )

Please don't give me Peeps. Or Peeps-making machines. After eating close to 30 every Easter, I fall down, roll around on the ground, and beg for death. If I had access to more than two packages of Peeps, I surely would keel over. Peeps probably aren't very good for me. That's why they will remain solely my Easter treat.

Your First (and Last) Chance for an Early Easter

2008-03-06T23:36:00.000-08:00

From "You'll never live to see another Easter this early" by Bill Ellis of ASSIST News Service:

Easter cannot be any earlier than March 22 or any later than April 25. The last time Easter was as early as March 23 was in 1913. I have read that the next time it will be on March 23 will be 2160. Enjoy it this year because you will not live long enough to celebrate another Easter this early in the year.

The last time it was observed on March 22, the earliest possible date, was in 1818 and it will not happen again until 2285. Nobody is alive who was living the last time or will be alive when it happens again. The last time the latest possible Easter fell on April 25 was in 1943. It will happen again in 2038.

Holly Turns 34; Oh, Happy Day!

2008-02-28T22:00:00.000-08:00

It’s my birthday, and my only plans were to work on a research paper. And write this blog.

This is most unusual—I usually make a huge deal out of my birthday. I typically spend six weeks planning my party. One month prior, I start a “countdown”: My friends receive an email that says, “Only 31 more shopping days until Holly’s birthday!” In the past, I’ve ordered custom t-shirts and themed party favors. (At my 80s party last year, guests received Rubik’s cubes and jelly bracelets in their goody bags.)

Additionally, I typically spend the entire week of my birthday engaging in “mini-celebrations”: I take myself out to my favorite restaurant, I give myself a day of beauty at the salon, I buy a new outfit. This is in addition to all the gifts and other parties I get from family and friends.

But this year, I didn’t remind anyone about my birthday. I didn’t plan a party. Instead, I spent the day doing homework. By choice. As much as I love my birthday (and I truly do!), I’m so enamored with school right now, nothing could be better than studying.

Honestly. I LOVE grad school! (I'm working on a master's in Christian Apologetics.) And I love my research paper. It’s on the holes in Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution; specifically, I argue against his idea life arose through purely natural means. In other words, Darwin theorized there was no supernatural involvement. No creator, no design, no plan—we simply won the cosmic lottery, and we’re lucky to be here. Francis Crick, a Darwinist who received the Nobel Prize for being a co-discoverer of the molecular structure of DNA, wrote, “An honest man, armed with all the knowledge available to us now, could only state that in some sense, the origin of life appears at the moment to be almost a miracle, so many are the conditions which would have had to have been satisfied to get it going." I wonder why Crick couldn't make the leap from thinking life seemed miraculous to believing it actually is.

I’ve been reflecting on my life—as we usually do when birthdays roll around—and I’m amazed at how truly miraculous and planned it is. Some folks would prefer to say I’m the recipient of good fortune. But in reviewing the evidence, I don’t think luck has much to do with it. Through a series of specific events, I find myself back in school at the perfect time. I wouldn’t have been ready for it a year ago, wouldn’t have considered it two years ago, and couldn’t have considered it five years ago. I started H-n-T two years ago as a way to stay in touch with a friend, and it turned into something amazing—something I never would have dreamed. Then, after reading H-n-T, the editors at Today’s Christian Woman asked me to blog for them. And thanks to my Today’s Christian Woman blog, traffic to H-n-T in the last eight months has grown from about 125 visitors a month to nearly 700.

Even bad circumstances have turned out to be good this year. In October 2006, I started having vision problems. I lost part of the sight in my left eye, and my doctor told me it was permanent and untreatable. For two months, it was a struggle to read—I briefly considered giving up writing because it seemed too hard. Then some friends started praying for me. I made up my mind that no matter how difficult it became, I was going to keep writing stories about my faith journey and God’s goodness. And I asked God to help me persevere.

As you may remember, my eyesight was restored without any treatment—other than lots of prayer from friends! It’s been just over a year since that happened. My vision was 20/200 in my left eye in December 2006; I couldn’t see the big “E” at the top of the eye chart. At my last eye exam, my doctor told me I was seeing 20/40 of out my left eye.

Since 2004, when I left Christianity Today International so hubby and I could move to California for his job, I wondered what God was going to do with my life. I was jobless, bored and miserable. And it seemed God was closing every door, which I couldn’t understand. I was making myself available! I was trying to tackle projects it seemed God was placing in front of me! But every time I got excited about some prospective work opportunity, it seemed to crash and burn. At times, I thought, Maybe God doesn’t have any plans for me. Or maybe I’m supposed to come up with my own plans. Or maybe I’m supposed to wait patiently … I just didn’t know what was going to happen.

I’m beginning to understand why I had to wait. Waiting is HARD. That’s why my birthday parties were so important in the past. They gave me something to look forward to. I’d celebrate that I’d gotten through another miserable year of waiting.

This year, I didn’t make any big plans for my birthday. I didn’t need to celebrate my survival or buy myself toys to feel better. This year I’m excited and expectant for stuff I see God lining up before me.

Guess I’m completely satisfied with the plans God is giving me. It’s been worth the wait, and then some.

To ponder:
1) Have you ever had to wait on God for something? How did this make you feel?

2) How did you deal (or how are you dealing) with the waiting time?

3) If you're presently waiting on God: Consider these words God had Jeremiah tell the Israelites: "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart'" (Jeremiah 29:11-13).

How do these words make you feel? (Some will find the passage encouraging, other will view it as discouraging, and some will feel a mix of the two.) Then, tell God how the passage made you feel.

4) If you had to wait in the past: In retrospect, could you see how God used the wait? What would you say to someone who feels like they’re in a holding pattern? If it seems difficult to come up with encouraging words, consider: What do you wish someone had said to you or done for you?

Christians Behaving Badly

2008-02-27T13:26:00.000-08:00

Holly's latest blog entry on Today's Christian Woman magazine's website is now up:

Christians Behaving Badly
Who’s giving the church a bad reputation? Perhaps I am.

http://blog.todayschristianwoman.com/
walkwithme/2008/02/christians_behaving_badly.html

To ponder:
1) How do you respond when other Christians behave badly?

2) Is recognizing bad behaviors in yourself difficult?

3) What’s helped you recognize and change these thoughts or behaviors?

4) How do you respond when someone who isn't a Christian points out bad behavior by groups like the Phelps family? Do you respond differently when this bad behavior is from an esteemed Christian or group?

5) If someone said, "Christians aren't perfect, but they seem to think they are," how would you respond? Consider using your own mistakes to illustrate your response.

North Korea Named No. 1 Persecutor of Christians

2008-02-04T12:19:00.000-08:00

According to Open Doors’ 2008 World Watch List, North Korea remains the No. 1 persecutor of Christians. The organization identifies the following 10 countries as having the greatest intensity of Christian persecution:

1) North Korea (2007 ranking: 1)
2) Saudi Arabia (2)
3) Iran (3)
4) Maldives (5)
5) Bhutan (7)
6) Yemen (6)
7) Afghanistan (10)
8) Laos (9)
9) Uzbekistan (11)
10) China (12)

To compile the list, Open Doors compares answers given by indigenous contacts, field workers, and persecuted believers on 50 questions covering various aspects of religious freedom.

Open Doors serves persecuted believers throughout the world through Bible and Christian literature distribution, leadership training and assistance, Christian community development, prayer and presence ministry, and advocacy.

Find the Presidential Candidate of Your Dreams

2008-02-02T21:00:00.000-08:00

My friend Brooke sent me a link to an interesting website. By answering a few questions on the site, you can find out which presidential candidate most closely lines up with your views.

Not surprisingly, the candidate I was already leaning toward was the closest match for me. And according to my results, the top two candidates who's views most closely align with mine are both from my political party. So perhaps I really am a dyed-in-the-wool.

Check it out:

Select a Candidate

http://cbs2.com/yourcandidate

Election 2008: More Than One Christian Candidate

2008-02-01T15:02:00.000-08:00

Super Tuesday is a'comin'! Here's a little something I wrote in response to comments on my election blog on the Today's Christian Woman website:

I'd prefer our country’s leader believe in God. But if faith is all we're demanding in a president, we're demanding too little.

Whether or not a presidential candidate is likely to turn to God for wisdom is hugely important to me. I do want to know the candidate's faith, but that's all the information I need. I believe the American people do not benefit from a prove-your-faith contest—it is a waste of time that could be better utilized to discuss the issues affecting our country.

And I believe it does not edify the church for political candidates to rattle off a few Bible verses come election time. Consider the perception these candidates are creating when, having not been vocal about their beliefs in the past, they suddenly start discussing Scripture and hymns during an election. I have a feeling they won't be talking about these things in a year. Will this make faith look like something to be put on when it is useful? Will this make faith appear to be shallow or surface? Will it make Christianity look like a mere social affiliation? The overuse of faith as a political buzzword dilutes its real meaning.

We shouldn't be analyzing the perceived depth of faith of a candidate, then choosing based on whoever seems like the "best Christian." If my church were interviewing for a pastor, the candidate's depth of faith would be my primary concern. Conversely, in considering my vote for president, faith may be a must-have quality, but that quality still plays a tiny role in my decision.

Here's a simple illustration of what I mean. If I go out for lunch one day and see I have many choices, I might think to myself, "I want to eat something hot, not cold." I've decided my food must be hot. But beyond that, I have a lot more decision-making to do. I've really only ruled out a few choices.

In the current presidential race, almost all of the candidates profess Christian faith. So we've got a whole lot of choices to make.

MORE:
Misplaced Faith
Is faith the most important issue in the 2008 presidential race?

Misplaced Faith: Christians & the 2008 Presidential Election

2008-01-23T12:53:00.000-08:00

Holly's latest blog entry on Today's Christian Woman magazine's website is now up:

Misplaced Faith
Is faith the most important issue in the 2008 presidential race

http://blog.todayschristianwoman.com/walkwithme/2008/01/misplaced_faith.html

To ponder:
1) How does a presidential candidate's faith influence your vote?

2) Which issues are most important to you in this election?

3) What other information will you use to determine your vote?

4) What do you think about the "God-o-Meter," which was created by Beliefnet.com and Time magazine?

Real Church Hurts

2008-01-14T21:59:00.000-08:00

Real Church Hurts
By J. Brooke Fenwick

Real church hurts

When Sunday morning worship gets stale

Because Sunday morning isn’t churchReal church hurts

When you realize that there is more than that weekly sermon

Because that sermon isn’t enoughReal church hurts

When you finally give up on finding the perfect place that scratches your spiritual itch

Because such a church does not existReal church hurts

When you get past the pre-packaged, “We’ve got all the answers” theology

Because a church that claims to know it all is lyingReal church hurts

When you get past the superficial smiles and discover real people you don’t like

Because you are one of those peopleReal church hurts

When you learn to humbly wash the feet of the arrogant, proud, and hypocritical

Because Christ set the exampleReal church hurts

When you commit yourself to being there for those who are not there for you

Because Christ never leaves nor forsakesReal church hurts

When you start to strip off the protective layers, making the real you known

Because Christ already knows you better than you know yourselfReal church hurts

When you are forced to look past your prejudices and see the heart of another

Because Christ looks past outward appearance and sees the heartReal church hurts

When you choose to lay down your life for someone who doesn’t deserve it

Because Christ did that for youReal church hurts

Because Christ hurts

And we are His bodyReal church hurts

Because real love hurts

And it is by this love that the world will know that we are His_______________

To ponder:
1) Do you agree with Brooke's assessment? Why or why not?

2) Do you find it difficult to be real with people? Is it more (or less) difficult for you at church?

3) Were there specific portions of Brooke's poem that seem particularly true in your life?

4) Holly sez: As a teen, I expected my church to have all the answers about God. Many Christian adults acted like they did. These days, I'm content to be in a church that's willing to have questions about God--as long as it is ever pursuing answers in its efforts to draw closer to God.

What are some questions you have about God and faith? Do you feel more frustrated or more excited when you discuss these questions with others?

H-n-T Celebrates Two Years of Blogging

2008-01-11T14:37:00.000-08:00

Happy (belated) Blog-iversary,
H-n-T!

To celebrate, I've made some small changes to H-n-T's appearance--kind of like the blog gets a new outfit for its birthday! I'm sad to take out some of the site's beautiful bold colors, but the changes will hopefully make the text easier to read. Let me know your thoughts on the blog's new appearance.

Here's a look at another great year for H-n-T:

H-n-T turned 2 on January 8, 2008.

H-n-T had 62 posts in 2007.

According to Site Meter, there were 3363 visits to the blog in 2007--nearly 2000 more than last year.

December 2007 posted a record high, with 526 visits. (This was the first time there were more than 500 visits to H-n-T in a single month.)

To see the topics readers were most interested in on H-n-T, check out "All Roads Lead from Google (to H-n-T)."

Holly chose “Can a Diverse Church Be Unified?” as her favorite post of 2007. What was your favorite post this year? Post your comments here, or e-mail Holly at contacthnt@gmail.com.

Many thanks to everyone who read, pondered, commented, and forwarded posts on H-n-T in 2007!

Offering My Best: H-n-T's Pick of 2007

2008-01-10T14:14:00.001-08:00

Below this post is my favorite story from 2007, “Can a Diverse Church Be Unified?” It originally appeared on my blog for Today's Christian Woman. Here's a bit about why I chose it as H-n-T's Pick of 2007.

When I wrote “Can a Diverse Church Be Unified?”, I had an epiphany: I really need other people! That's because the story almost didn't happen.

I felt moved to discuss race and the church on my TCW blog, but I was afraid. I shared these fears with a writer buddy, Jim. He knows me well enough to be extremely blunt: Jim told me to grow a backbone and write whatever God put on my heart!

His words made me resolved to write on the topic, but then I stalled, thinking, Do I really have anything to say that might bring about positive thought and change? Or am I just going to open old wounds and tick people off? Being controversial for controversy's sake ain't my thing. I wanted to write something meaningful. And it seemed I had nothing meaningful to say.

Then along came my dear friend LaTonya, a professional writer and editor who also blogs. She spent hours discussing the story with me, and even more hours editing it. Her help was particularly meaningful because she gave me permission to write about an experience I'd had at her church. (Perhaps the scariest words I can say to someone are, "Can I write about you?") It was brave of her to allow me to discuss such personal material.

As I was writing, I mentioned this story to a few friends. Word got around to a few more friends. Everyone who heard about it was thrilled to offer their observations and insight. Upward of 20 people contributed ideas and feedback on the piece. I must've made a dozen revisions before my TCW editors even saw it.

Initially, all these revisions made me feel tremendously discouraged. I was shocked my writing needed so much help! After all, wasn’t I supposed to be good at this stuff? At one point I thought, This sucks—this story isn't even mine anymore!

That's when it hit me. The story never was mine. This was a story about unity, not individualism. It was a story about community, not independence. I wouldn't have written this story without the pushing, encouraging, discussions, stories, and prayers of my friends and my editors. What an amazing illustration of what happens when the church is unified and purposed. And how ironic that a story about church division would provide an illustration of church unity. My writer friend Jim summed it up thus: "God knew what he was doing when he set up this ‘Body of Christ’ business, eh!"

It seems appropriate to reprint a story which caused such a great spiritual epiphany during the season of Epiphany, which began January 6 and continues up until the start of Lent (February 6). Epiphany celebrates the early moments when Jesus was revealed as divine, beginning with the visit from the Magi. Dennis Bratcher, a Nazarene ordained minister and a visiting professor at Point Loma Nazarene University, describes it thus:

"The term epiphany means 'to show' or 'to make known' or even 'to reveal.' In Western churches, it remembers the coming of the wise men bringing gifts to visit the Christ child, who by so doing 'reveal' Jesus to the world as Lord and King."

While the Bible doesn't specify who the Magi were, we know they came from a great distance, and they are widely considered the first non-Jews who acknowledged Christ. Epiphany is thus a celebration of inclusiveness, when we recognize Jesus came for everyone. Bratcher describes it as "a time of focusing on Christian brotherhood and fellowship, especially in healing the divisions of prejudice and bigotry that we all too often create between God’s children."

I hope “Can a Diverse Church Be Unified?” will provide some interesting thinking for you. I am thankful for the epiphany I received from it: I work best when I'm functioning within—and in conjunction with—the body of Christ.

To ponder:
1) Have you had any spiritual epiphanies this year?

2) Do you feel connected or disconnected in your church? What has caused you to feel this way?

3) For some interesting reading on racial reconciliation and the church, check out Ed Gilbreath's blog: http://edwardg.wordpress.com/. Ed (pictured) is the author of Reconciliation Blues: A Black Evangelical’s Inside View of White Christianity. He worked at Christianity Today for years, and is currently director of editorial for Urban Ministries, Inc. (Plus, he's a good friend, an amazing writer, and an all-around way cool guy.)

H-n-T's Pick of 2007: "Can a Diverse Church Be Unified?"

2008-01-10T13:59:00.000-08:00

Several years ago, my friend LaTonya invited me to a gospel concert at her church, a predominantly African American congregation. Admittedly my first thought was, Will I be the only person there who isn’t black? Before I could voice my concern, LaTonya told me she’d invited several mutual friends, people I knew were of various ethnicities. Still, I was rather fixated on how out of place I was going to feel.

At the concert, the tiny section of LaTonya’s friends stood out in the nearly homogeneous sea of faces. Maybe I was imagining, but I felt eyes fixed on me. I later told LaTonya my fears about being "The Other" in the room. Her words stick with me to this day: "Holly, I feel that way everywhere except my church." Then it hit me—LaTonya had been incredibly bold inviting me to her concert. At the place where she fit in comfortably, where she was "The Every," she’d differentiated herself by bringing her ethnically diverse group of friends.

Questions filled my head. Why had I felt out of place—in a church?! Did I not recognize that I was part of the body of Christ, and that the body is diverse? How could I be so clueless to not see that my buddy LaTonya regularly felt like The Other?

Unlike LaTonya, I’m usually The Every, a gal who’s used to fitting in just about everywhere. I have a mix of Caucasian, Filipino, Mexican, and Native American ancestry. I’ve been a member of Asian and Chicano social groups, and I proudly wear my “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” button on St. Patrick’s Day. I feel comfortable around people of every ethnicity.

That is, until someone makes me feel I’m The Other. I’ve been told “You’re not really Asian” and called pocha (a slur describing a Mexican woman who’s lost her culture). When I was in third grade, a skinhead shouted at me, “Don’t you wish you were white?” Just a few years ago, a complete stranger in a store snarled, “Why don’t you go back where you came from?” as we both waited in the checkout line. The hurtful message sent to The Other is: You’re not like us. You don’t belong.

You’d hope folks wouldn’t be made to feel like The Other within the Christian community. Unfortunately, hurts happen here, too.

When LifeWay Christian Resources began promoting “Far-out Far East Rickshaw Rally—Racing to the Son,” its 2004 Vacation Bible School program, members of the Asian-American community noted stereotypical images such as rickshaws, take-out boxes, and karate uniforms, and called the material racially offensive. Despite a protest petition and a letter-writing campaign headed by an Asian pastor, LifeWay defended the curriculum and distributed it.

And just a couple months ago, a North Carolina church made headlines after three white members in blackface lip-synched to hymns at a church function. The church initially defended the performance, asserting it was meant to celebrate gospel music, not intended to poke fun. Soon after, the pastor issued a public apology to those who’d been offended, but didn’t condemn the performance itself.

In Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis says we dismiss others’ legitimate hurts because we feel entitled to our behavior. We err when we trust our own assessment of whether something is hurtful, when we think, They shouldn’t be hurt. I wouldn’t be. That’s like telling The Other, “It’s your fault for not being like me.”

I’ve been thinking about how Jesus embraced The Other in his society: women, children, lepers, the poor, prostitutes, Samaritans, and tax collectors. And how early church leaders struggled over whether to include Gentiles. I'm beginning to realize how difficult reaching out to The Other is, because in doing so, we often set ourselves up for the same rejection and pain The Other feels.

My friend Brooke, who’s white, recently voiced concern about an online Christian video he felt reflected racist attitudes toward African Americans. The response to his concern? Comments from church leaders such as “Give me a break” and “Lighten up.” If only more Christians would recognize Brooke’s concern is for the whole body of Christ: “If one part of our body hurts, we hurt all over. If one part of our body is honored, the whole body will be happy” (1 Corinthians 12:26, CEV).

This inclusive attitude was demonstrated when Youth Specialties, a branch of Zondervan, realized earlier this year it had published a racially offensive skit in one of its books. Mark Oestreicher, president of Youth Specialties, immediately offered a public apology. At great expense, Zondervan pulled the book from shelves, revised and reprinted it, and offered to replace previously purchased copies with the new edition. Their quick response and sincerity drew wide praise from the Christian community. Personally, their actions make me want to stand and cheer!

As a church, we need to recognize the wounds of The Other, and not dismiss their pain. To “love your neighbor as yourself” (Leviticus 19:18, Mark 12:28-31) is a profound undertaking, because it requires a respect and consideration that doesn’t come naturally. It begins with submission: giving up my rights to meet another’s needs. “Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another” (Ephesians 5:21, THE MESSAGE).

The Problem with the Church Is ...

2008-01-03T00:14:00.000-08:00

Last month, I posed the question, "What concerns or frustrates you most about today’s Christian church?" Several of my friends offered a response to this question. Here's mine:

The problem that most concerns me about today's American church is our lack of community. We don't support each other. We don't have authentic, transparent relationships with one another. We don't ask each other for help.

I think this stems from American individualism. Individualism is a good thing, of course, but it can quickly move into the mentality of self-sufficiency--and the expectation everyone should be completely self-reliant.

I heard this heartbreaking story recently: Some years ago, a friend who is a professional chef had been feeding a homeless man who was mentally ill. The man started following her everywhere, and she continued to feed him and extend friendship to him. A leader from her church found out about this and told her she needed to stop doing this immediately, or she'd never get rid of the homeless man. She was shocked: Here she was using her talents in the way the Holy Spirit had moved her, and a church leader was telling her to stop. She found this sentiment of "the Lord helps those who help themselves" was shared by many of her church leaders. She ended up leaving that church.

I hear this echoed by singles who feel they are overlooked in their churches. In many churches, programs are largely focused on families with children. I sense a lack of empathy for the loneliness and isolation singles can experience. The solutions offered by the church often are the over-simplified "let Jesus be your comfort" or pesky match-making where there's little concern for compatibility ("You should meet my co-worker's brother's roommate--I think he might be a Christian!")

I continuously hear Christian women talk about loneliness and pain, and express sadness there's no one to share their feelings with. First problem is, there are those who'd condemn them for not reaching out--because "they don't make the effort, it's their own fault." Second problem is, there are those who'd condemn them for not completely depending on God--since they’ve expressed their need human comfort, "they surely must not trust God." Thus, we keep quiet about our hurts and loneliness because we’re afraid we’ll be judged for expressing these feelings. It is a vicious circle.

To be extremely blunt:

It is a cop-out when we blame people for their hurt and doubts. It is a cop-out to analyze someone’s feelings and say, "They're just young and rebellious; they'll grow up," or "It's a decision they have to make for themselves," or "God will reveal himself to them."

When we make excuses for our own inaction, this is sin--often selfishness and arrogance. Who are any of us to judge whether someone else needs our help? When we are told to love one another, this doesn't mean "love only the emotionally healthy who are self-reliant" or "love only Christians who are just like you."

As the body of Christ, we are responsible for the other members of the body. And we will be called into account for our inaction. It's true each person must choose whether to follow Christ. While I can’t make this choice for another person, I am responsible for sharing Jesus’ story. I do believe I'm going to be harshly judged by God on Judgment Day--and I expect every Christ-follower will be, too. I believe God will show me many people's lives, and how I added to the trail of hurts and rejection that made those people turn away from him. It makes me sick to my stomach because I know there are people I need to call right now. And I haven't done so because the conversations will be painful and the relationships difficult.

Getting to know people is hard. I find it almost impossible to let anyone see me vulnerable and real. But it is possible, and it is required of us. God most often reveals himself through human conversations and interactions. God help us to never become so comfortable as individuals that we're unwilling to do the uncomfortable work of building community.

To ponder:
1) What are some obstacles to building community?

2) What are some obstacles that churches face? Are these different than the obstacles to building friendships at work or in our neighborhoods?

3) Where is it easiest for you to make friends (ie. work, church, neighborhood, through your kids' activities, at the gym)? Do you think it is more difficult or easier to have authentic friendships at church?

Generation Exodus: Why are Young People Leaving the Church?

2007-12-29T16:48:00.000-08:00

At 17, I stopped attending church. I’d had doubts about Christianity for a few years, but I didn’t feel safe asking questions at my church. I figured I’d face condemnation for my “lack of faith.” In my 20s, whenever I found the rare Christian who’d converse with me, he or she seemed ill-prepared to offer a basic definition of Christian faith, much less a defense of it. Worse, some Christians dismissed my questions with a condescending, “I’ll pray for you.” For nearly a decade, I remained disconnected from the church.

So I wasn’t surprised when a recent study by LifeWay Research—an organization affiliated with the Southern Baptist Convention—found 70 percent of respondents had stopped attending church by age 23. Of those “dropouts” (as the survey called them), 58 percent noted at least one church- or pastor-related reason for leaving. The most frequently cited reasons were "church members seemed judgmental or hypocritical" and "I didn’t feel connected to the people in my church." Additionally, 52 percent said "religious, ethical, or political beliefs" contributed to their departure.

Two of my friends who’ve left the church offer some of their thoughts:
__________

“The church says, ‘Don't ask questions—read your Bible for the answers. Don't think—pray.’ Many people buy into this teaching, even though it insults our intelligence. The church creates prejudices, forcing us to judge people because they don't believe in Jesus Christ or because they consider the possibility of truth beyond Jesus and Christianity. God forbid anybody ever entertain those thoughts.” —female, 21
__________

“Christians seem to want to remake the world in their image. I don't understand how they selectively pick and choose from the Bible. The Bible includes commands not obeyed in today’s society. Christians dismiss the instruction to not touch pig skin, yet proclaim gays are contradicting God's plan, going to hell, and destroying society by wanting to marry. I don’t understand why one instruction is advice to be ignored out of common sense and the other is God’s written law on the subject.” —male, 34
__________

A large part of my friends’ pain and anger is the result of silence within the church. Too often, we don’t discuss social issues with each other. We don’t share our doubts or personal struggles. We don’t even talk about our understanding of Christianity—perhaps we’re afraid others will judge us for our limited knowledge.

Above all, we don’t acknowledge problems that plague the church. In examining the generational exit from the church, I asked several friends to share their concerns and irritations. They were eager and excited to respond. While I don’t agree with every idea offered here, I think communicating and listening to each other is vital to our health as a church body. May we read their comments with thought and with respect for their willingness to share.
__________

“The American Christian church seems focused on a few issues—such as abortion and homosexuality/same-sex marriage—that, while important, shouldn’t be all-consuming. The church and its people should focus more on poverty and compassion. We’re so busy trying to make converts by saying how bad the world is. The world has always been bad! The early church led people to Christ by caring for them, both materially and spiritually. We need to follow their example today.” —female, 40
__________

“A major problem with today’s Christian church is we perpetuate the myth we’ve attained perfection and have somehow transcended the struggles everyone else around us faces. We even fool ourselves into believing this myth. The apostle Paul exhibits brutal honesty when he says in Romans 7:21, ‘I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong’” (NLT). —male, 30
__________

“At church, I'm least myself—not most myself, or my best self. ‘Morality’ always seems tied to individual repression (don't smoke, don't drink), rather than to group responsibility (help the homeless, eradicate poverty). I believe Christians should be interested more in the military support of Israel than in whether or not I want a cigarette.” —female, 34
__________

“The church has done a horrible public relations job. Being a Christian means pursuing a life of contemplation, refusing to accept injustice as a societal norm, and believing a loving higher power—and not our own human deeds—guides a believer’s fate. At some point, someone’s behavior must have created the perception that Christians are nothing more than superstitious and judgmental. That person certainly wasn’t Jesus.” —male, 34
__________

“The most annoying aspect of today's Christian church is the prevalence of intolerant, closed-minded, and dogmatic views. Unfortunately, the people who hold such views tend to be the most vocal Christians, drowning out more moderate voices. These vocal Christians take extreme positions, such as denouncing Halloween as devil worship or celebrating the war in Iraq as God's punishment for our country's tolerance of homosexuality. They proclaim anyone who doesn’t agree with their views is going to hell. In doing so, they show no tolerance for other religions and points of view. Ironically, they’re quite similar in their intolerance and hypocrisy to some of the very people they loathe: Islamic fundamentalists.” —female, 34
__________

“Christians, as a whole, are judgmental. We've forgotten God told us our place isn’t to judge. Not only do we judge non-believers, but we judge each other for the most irrelevant matters. Rather than judge, we need to love unconditionally. Rather than look down on people, we need to care for them as Jesus would. He forgave us, so what makes us better than someone else?” —female, 28
__________

“It bothers me some Christians believe God cares about every thing they do. A friend told me she liked Joel Osteen, so I decided to watch his show. I quickly had to turn it off. In essence, Osteen said: ‘Welcome God into every aspect of your life. Pray before you go into a store. If you buy the wrong items, it’s because you didn’t ask God to be with you during your shopping trip.’ Sorry, no. I do welcome God into my life and want him to help me make life decisions. Buying tan versus brown towels at Target, however, doesn’t count as a ‘life decision.’ ” —female, 34
__________

“What's wrong with the church today? In the words of G.K. Chesterton, ‘I am.’ I am because I'm the only one I can change, and sometimes I refuse to give myself to God. I get in the way of the gospel with my bad example and my failure to be a light in the world.” —male, 23
__________

“I’m frustrated that many Christians seem brainwashed: When they sign up for Christ-following, they often subscribe to all the traditional political and moral viewpoints of the Christian church without checking if those perspectives are truly biblical. I hope Christians will search the Word and listen to the Holy Spirit for guidance, rather than follow without using their minds.” —female, 27
__________

Back to my story: About seven years ago, I met Penny, a 50something secretary and an exuberant Christian. I’d been miserably disconnected from the church for almost 10 years, so Penny was like an oasis in the desert for me. She was transparent and humble. She was honest about the shortcomings of the church, and quick to identify her own role in these. She never portrayed herself as someone who was perfect or superior, but rather as someone who daily relied on God. Most important, she was always willing to talk about her beliefs and my questions. She was the personification of 1 Peter 3:15, ready to give an answer with gentleness and respect.

Penny was everything I wanted to be: a real person with real faith. God began changing me through my conversations with her. I reconnected with the church, and, thankfully, I discovered many more Christians just like Penny.

Admitting our doubts, questions, and frustrations about the church can be difficult, even painful. Yet I believe such discussion is necessary: We can’t become more Christlike unless we first identify how we’re not like Christ. Let’s get this conversation started.

To ponder:
1) What concerns or frustrates you most about today’s Christian church?

2) What encourages you most?

3) How can we—as individuals and as a church—promote honest, meaningful conversation?

All Roads Lead from Google (to H-n-T)

2007-12-28T15:25:00.000-08:00

Have you checked out the 2007 Google zeitgeist? It's a report on the most popular Google searches for the year.

Makes me happy to know folks are still interested in God: On Google's "Who is ... " list (people typed in the words "who is" followed by a name or other word), God took the top spot. Jesus ranked No. 4. Satan was No. 10.

I've put together my own little list of Google searches that led to H-n-T. My methodology for compiling the list was pretty simplistic: What were some popular searches I remember seeing on my Site Meter data?

Some of the top Google searches that led to H-n-T:

Miraculous healings

The Secret versus The Bible

Secular songs for worship

Bible verses on physical fitness

Prosperity according to the Bible

Other interesting Google searches that led to H-n-T:

Why do some people have a harder life than others?

Can you worship God in the wrong way?

Christians are arrogant.

Can a good Christian watch TV?

Is God in control of our lives?

To ponder:
1) Consider the first group of popular searches. Why do you think people were motivated to search for these topics? (For example, maybe people searched for "secular songs for worship" because they thought those songs might attract visitors to their church, or perhaps they wanted to worship God in a new way, or ... )

2) Consider the second group of searches. How would you respond to the questions? How would you respond to the statement, "Christians are arrogant"?

Golden Opportunity: One Christian Perspective on 'The Golden Compass'

2007-12-28T00:50:00.000-08:00

Holly's latest blog entry on Today's Christian Woman magazine's website is now up:

Golden Opportunity
The Golden Compass provides a new way to think and talk candidly about the church.

To ponder:
A character in The Golden Compass describes the Magisterium’s function this way: "They keep things working by telling people what to do … Some people know what's best for them, and some people don't. Besides, they don't tell people what to do in a mean, petty way; they do it in a kindly way." Yet in the movie, the actions of the Magisterium are anything but kindly.

1) Do Christians sometimes push their views in ways that are wrongly motivated? What are some wrong motivations? What are some good motivations?

2) If you've seen or read The Golden Compass, how do the characteristics of the Magisterium compare to today's Christian church? What can Christians learn from Philip Pullman's criticism?

3) Have any mainstream movies, books, or music sparked a conversation on spiritual matters?

REWIND: What's in a Name?

2007-12-17T15:51:00.000-08:00

My friend Mark sent me an Associated Press story about a young woman named "Mary Christmas." For real.

Name origins and meanings have long intrigued me. It perhaps began in fifth grade, when my teacher created an "All About Me" bulletin board. Each week, a different student would post photos of themselves and lists of their interests. The display also included the student's name origin, which the teacher looked up and posted for us. My classmates' names meant all kinds of wonderful things like "angel," "king," "conqueror," "beautiful one." Of course, I expected my name would be good, too. Imagine my surprise during the first day of "All About Holly" week, when I read my name meant "prickly, poisonous shrub." Guess who got teased all week long? ("Hey, Prickly!" "Stay away from Holly, she's poisonous!")

Still, I'd much rather live down a name than have to live up to one. Case in point: my friend Jessie. Most people don't know her real name is Jesus, and if I were her, I wouldn't tell, either. How on earth do you live up to "our Lord and Savior"? I suppose you can throw people off by using the Spanish pronunciation, Hay-SOOSE (though whenever I hear that name, I always want to say, "God bless you," and hand them a hanky. Culturally insensitive am I.). Then there was the guy at my college named Christian. Ironically, he's an atheist. Naturally, he went by "Chris."

Perhaps my brother, Michael Paul, has the best name combo of all. Michael means "one who resembles God." Whew, what a name to live up to! But the name Paul, which in Latin means "small or little," lightens that burden. My own personal translation of my brother's name: "one who resembles God ... a little."

At times, I'd rather label myself as a "Michael Paul" than as a "Christian." The word Christian, of course, simply means "follower of Christ." Unfortunately, I've heard plenty of other definitions: holier-than-thou, high-and-mighty, too-good-for-this-world-of-sinners. Plenty of Christians try hard to live those things down, but I can understand why those labels persist. It seems we Christians sometimes want to define ourselves as perfect, flawless, even sinless. We're often guilty of dividing the world between Christians and non-Christians, then proclaiming that "non-Christian" means "worthless, rejected, bad." Sometimes Christians forget that they, too, have a sinful nature. Sometimes Christians forget that they make mistakes, that they hurt others. That, even though we've accepted God's gift of forgiveness, we Christians still sin.

We also need to remember that those who aren't Christians are Michael Pauls, just like us. God made them. God loves them as deeply as you and me. They resemble God, and he wants them to know they're his kids, too.

The Christmas family from that AP story says their name keeps them in check. They are constantly reminded they're representatives of the holiday. And that reminds me I'm a representative, too--of Jesus Christ. When I meet someone who defines "Christian" as "holier-than-thou," I've got to remember two things. First, something happened to create those feelings of hurt and rejection. And second, I have an opportunity to extend love and kindness. My actions might give them a reason to reconsider their definition.

To ponder:
1) When is the word "Christian" a blessing to you? When is it a burden?

2) Think about your recent interactions. How might others be defining "Christian" based on how you represented Christ?

3) For fun, look up your name origin. You can use a search engine by typing your name along with "name meaning," or try http://www.thinkbabynames.com/.

A Holly-Day Story: 'Angels, Revisited'

2007-12-11T12:25:00.000-08:00

This year, I'm thinking about how the term "holiday season" has become so apropos for our society. Meaning: We can hardly call it Christmas anymore because there's very little of Christ in it.

I'm praying that God will change my focus. The following true story, which I wrote last year, has made me pause and think many times. Maybe God can use it to move me--and others--one more time.

Angels, Revisited

I blew it. Again.

I was in a hurry, pushing a cart full of groceries through the parking lot as fast as I could. A list of errands was running through my mind. Still had to stop at another store, pack for my weekend trip, and make sure my husband had enough clean socks and underwear to last through the days I'd be gone. With my mind focused on the tasks ahead, I was hardly aware of the man standing in front of my car. I heard his voice before I saw his face.

"Excuse me, ma'am. Could you help me with something to eat?"

He stood at some distance from me, probably well aware I might freak out if he came closer. And though he was safely at least a dozen feet away, and both my shopping cart and car were barriers between us, I'd still felt a rush of fear. His face was oily, and his faded black pants and t-shirt were rumpled and dirty.

"Sorry." I tersely dismissed him with that one word, then immediate returned to the task of loading the groceries into my car. I anxiously hoped he'd disappear.

And as soon as I said it, I regretted it. As he walked away, I felt a heaviness in my chest. I knew in my heart I needed to stop what I was doing, run after the man, and tell him I would get him some food. For goodness sake, I had a whole cart full of groceries right there, including some I'd bought to take to my church! Go find that man right now! my heart demanded.

But when I looked down at my groceries, I thought, I can't just leave these here and run after some stranger. I'll put them in my trunk first, then go find the man.

This is the point where I knew I'd blown it. I knew the man would be gone. I knew I'd look for him, and that I wouldn't find him. I knew he would disappear from that little parking lot, as if he'd mysteriously been zapped off the face of the earth.

I knew all of this would happen because it's all happened to me before.

Three years before, I'd been driving by a different grocery store in Illinois. It was cold and drizzling, and I just wanted to get home because I knew it would start pouring at any moment. My husband and I had just bought a new car, and I was terribly nervous about driving it on a dry street, let alone a slick, wet one. I didn't want to be driving when the serious rain began. When it rains in Illinois, water falls from the sky in sheets, not droplets. Heaven help the person caught walking on the street during a storm--it's like having buckets of water forcefully thrown at you from every direction.

Heaven wanted to help an elderly woman that day. I saw her walking out of the grocery store and couldn't take my eyes off her. In one hand, she carried a few bags full of groceries, in the other, she attempted to keep her little umbrella upright as the wind tossed it backward. She could barely walk; she dragged one foot a bit as she inched down the sidewalk with tiny, strained steps. The signal on the street turned red, and I watched as she slowly moved in my direction.

Offer her a ride. Help her. The words in my head were as clear as if they'd been said by someone sitting in my passenger seat. The feeling I had was more than just a nagging conscience; I knew God was directly instructing me to help this woman. All I had to do was pull over to the curb.

The light turned green. I can't stop for her, my head rationalized. There's no parking lane on the street. The cars behind me will honk. She'll think I'm a lunatic and will be scared--what if I give her a heart attack? I came up with a dozen excuses as my foot moved from the brake to the accelerator. I watched her in my rear-view mirror as I drove past. There was still time to stop for her.

I turned at the corner. I've got to get home before the rain starts pouring down.

And then it hit me: I hadn't stopped. Nearly every part of my body had urged me to stop. My foot had been resting on the brake. My left hand had been ready to flip on the turn signal. My arms had been ready to turn the wheel. My heart was thudding so strong and deep I could hear it in my ears. Yet I hadn't stopped.

I pulled over and turned my head to look over my shoulder. I couldn't see the old woman anymore. The rain began to pour down.

I hadn't stopped. I'd said "no" to God. I began to bawl and howl like an injured animal.

And I knew I had to find the old woman. I had to make things right. I had to get her out of the pouring rain. I had to do what I should have done in the first place.

I sped around the corner. I figured I'd find her right away. At her snail's pace, she couldn't have gotten more than 100 feet from where I'd turned. I drove past the intersection where I'd seen her. Not there. I drove another block. I drove down the side streets, then through the parking lots of nearby businesses. Even as I searched, I knew I wouldn't find her. I knew God had offered me an opportunity, or rather, a test. And I'd failed it.

I bawled all the way home, trying to comfort myself with the thought someone else had picked her up, or that she'd found refuge at a bus stop or under a store awning. Those thoughts didn't soothe me. I prayed, "God, I missed what you put right in front of my face. But I'm going to be aware now. I'm going to listen when you ask me to do something. I won't blow it again."

For the next several weeks, my actions played over in my mind like a CD stuck on repeat. I begged God, "Please give me someone to help! Please give me something to do for you. Please let me make up for my inaction." I thought about Jesus' illustration of the three servants who were given different amounts of money to invest for their master. And I thought, "I'm the foolish servant who buried the master's money and didn't even earn basic interest from the bank." In the weeks that followed, I looked everywhere for an opportunity to help another person. I held every door open, told everyone who sneezed, "Bless you," extended kind greetings to every passerby. Every day, as I drove by the intersection where I'd seen the elderly woman, I looked for her. Nothing gave me peace.

But as the days passed, the memory gradually faded. I got caught up in work and my never-ending to-do list. I'd almost forgotten about the old woman when I read an article, "The Test," in Today's Christian magazine. In it, a man shared his memory of an elderly homeless man who'd visited his church. The homeless man had come in during a Sunday service and asked the congregation to help him get some food. No one offered to help him. So he walked back out empty-handed. As soon as he'd gone out the door, a few church members ran after him to offer their assistance. But he was gone. He'd seemingly vanished. Afterward, the senior pastor got up and told his congregation:

"Something terrible happened here today. We missed an opportunity to prove ourselves, and I fear we may never receive it again ... I believe we received a visit from an angel today. My mother taught me, when I was just a boy, that God sends his angels down to look after us and to guide us … but he also sends them to test us, to see what kind of people we really are. I think we were tested today. And I think we failed."

I bawled three years ago when I read that story, and I ache as a read it again today. Because I know I've been tested many times now. Many times I've "passed"--I did what I knew God was asking me to do. I'm thankful God softened my heart and opened my eyes during those moments. When I help someone, I almost always feel wonderful afterward. I feel connected to God and to humanity. I feel more like a person, and less like a machine that's programmed to never deviate from its routine.

Last week, I was a robot, following my usual pattern of ignoring people, rushing to complete chores, and strictly sticking to schedule. With a fat wallet, a full belly, and a cart full of groceries, I turned my back on a hungry person who simply asked for something to eat.

Today, I feel that old familiar pain of heartbreak. I hurt, knowing I left an old woman to walk in the cold rain, and a homeless man to wander on, with his stomach still empty. I hurt, knowing my lack of compassion perhaps made those two people feel a little less loved and cared for by God. I hurt, and I welcome the feeling. I hope it lingers for a long while because it reminds me of who I am--a child of God, with billions of brothers and sisters who are hoping some "stranger" will offer them the tiniest bit of kindness. They pray God will send them someone who can give them enough hope to get through one more day.

Today, I'm a little bit more human.

To ponder:
1) Do you believe God tests us? How has he tested you?

2) What are some typical excuses people use to avoid helping someone in need?

3) Most of us have had some bad experiences when we've helped others: Maybe you've given money to a con artist, or perhaps someone you've helped has returned your kindness with a lack of thanks or even cold words. Perhaps that bad experience makes you to hesitate to serve others now. Read the true story, "You Ain't No Better Than Me." Then think about the person who conned or insulted you. How did their actions differ from the way you expected them to react? How do expectations sometimes hurt us, especially in regard to the lessons God's trying to teach us?

4) Think about the typical human motives for helping others. Compare this to Jesus' motives for dying for the world. What might have happened if Jesus had made his decision whether to die based on typical human motives, and if he had used typical human excuses?

5) Make a list of 10 ways you can help others. Here are a few to get your creative juices flowing: bringing canned goods to a food drive, helping an elderly person put groceries in their car, saving pennies for the local school, babysitting a child for a couple hours to give a parent some free time, having lunch with someone who is lonely.

The Ever-Elusive Problem-Free Church

2007-11-30T21:05:00.000-08:00

In response to my latest blog at Today's Christian Woman, a reader asks:

“[At two churches I attended], there was so much backbiting and slandering the pastors that it split both churches. We were really bothered by this behavior and regretfully, we left the church and have not attended for about 3 years. … I have thought of visiting another denomination, but my husband says that this type of problem is in most churches. Is this true?”
____________

I replied:

I do believe there are problems in every church for a couple reasons. First, the ideal church should be a place where the broken go for healing and comfort. So church is set up to be a place where people bring their problems.

Second, even when life is treating us well, we still carry the problem of sin. Try as we might to be Christlike, we Christians still have the choice to sin. We can choose to be jealous, prideful, arrogant, bitter, selfish and intolerant at any time we like. Unfortunately, we all make that bad choice sometimes. We expect church to be a safe place where we can be loved exactly as we are ... yet sometimes, we don't treat others how we'd like to be treated.

Third, we tend to develop close relationships in church, so inevitably, we'll be let down or we'll let someone else down. And that's true of all relationships--even with our closest family and friends, there are days when we just don't like them.

I've had two distinct church experiences: "plugged in" and "disconnected." I attended one church for more than two years, and managed to never connect with one person! It didn't seem like a friendly church, and when I made attempts to meet others, I always felt disappointed. I never developed enough trust to be in community there.

At my current church, I made a decision to plug in and stay connected, no matter what. The environment of friendliness and transparency (modeled by the pastor) initially made it easier to be friendly and transparent myself. But I soon found that, even in a great church, people are people. Many people at my church have disappointed me at some point, and I know I've let many down myself. Sometimes I get so mad, I'm tempted to leave--the idea of anonymity at a new church becomes mighty attractive. Somehow, I've stuck with my decision to stay plugged in.

To complete my lil' analogy: I now know how it feels to be disconnected. It's like I'm dead: I can't grow, I can't move, and I'm just stuck in the same place. Conversely, when I'm plugged in, I'm connected to an energizing source. Sometimes my output exceeds what's being put into me. Sometimes I blow a fuse. But if I stay put, I trust God's going to fix it--he's the one at the fuse box. He always flicks the switch before I pull my plug, and I figure he's probably using problems and conflict to built perseverance into me.

When I get angry at someone, I pray as honestly as I'm able, "God, I really hate this person. I can't stand being around them, and I hate going to church because they're there. But I figure you've got them at this church and in my life for a reason. Please help me see them in a new way, and give me some way to love them. Help me to see the faults and sin in myself that are preventing me from loving them like you do." It's probably the most difficult prayer for me to pray, but I've seen God do mind-blowing stuff when I pray it. I've had people approach me immediately after I prayed and say, "I have this character flaw, and I think I might have hurt you because of it. Would you pray with me about it?"

Honestly, even if there was a perfect, perpetually happy church, I wouldn't want to go there. I'm neither perfect nor perpetually happy, so I wouldn't fit in very well! The hardest part about being in community is acknowledging that we're equal--our own flaws are just as bad as everyone else's, and we all hold the same sinfulness.
____________

To ponder:
1) How would you respond if someone asked you this?

2) I love the word "perseverance" because I see the word "sever" in the center of it. I imagine "sever" would like to separate itself, but it is bookended by two other pieces that press in on it and hold it in place.

What is it that presses in on you and holds your relationships together when you feel like giving up on others and going it alone?

3) Consider this portion of the definition of perseverance: "to maintain a purpose in spite of difficulty, obstacles, or discouragement."

Read Hebrews 12:1-3 and 1 Timothy 4:15-16. In regard to these passages, why is it important that we persevere? Where should our focus be? How does perseverance affect both ourselves and others?

Generation Exodus

2007-11-28T22:16:00.000-08:00

Holly's latest blog entry on Today's Christian Woman magazine's website is now up:

Generation Exodus
Why do so many young people leave the church?

To ponder:
1) In your opinion, what are some factors that contribute to young people leaving the Christian church?

2) What concerns or frustrates you most about today’s Christian church?

3) What encourages you most?

4) How can Christians—as individuals and as a church—promote honest, meaningful conversation?

Letting Go of Anger: Why So Hard?

2007-11-27T13:43:00.000-08:00

"... the problem is that anger is so exciting, so enlivening, that forgiveness can seem like a limp surrender. If you have ever cherished a resentment, you know how right it can make you feel to have someone in the world whom you believe is all wrong. You may not be up to admitting it yet, but one of the great benefits of having an enemy is that you get to look good by comparison. It also helps to have someone to blame for why your life is not turning out the way it was supposed to."

--Barbara Brown Taylor, in Gospel Medicine (Cowley Publications). In 1995, Baylor University named her one of the 12 most effective preachers in the English-speaking world.

EXCERPT:
Why We Love This Deadly Sin

PROFILE:
From Religion & Ethics Newsweekly

Where's Holly???

2007-11-27T12:22:00.000-08:00

Yes, indeedy--I disappeared for a whole month! I can hardly believe it myself

I am alive and well. I've been off having some adventures: I played paintball for the first time with one of my gal pals. (Ouch. Two scars.) Spent a weekend at a monastery. Viewed some of the Dead Sea Scrolls.

During Thanksgiving weekend, I played the just-released Rock Band "virtual reality" video game. (Yes, I tried all the instruments--guitar, bass, drums, and microphone. Yes, I do rock.) And I managed to win the first-ever Vicente family poker "tournament," consisting of my parents, brother, sister, husband and me. I psyched out my opponents by clinking my chips together for the entire game, and badly singing Kenny Rogers' "The Gambler." (In truth, I think I just annoyed everyone away from the table.)

In between, I managed to get accepted to Biola University's master's in Christian Apologetics program. (No, I won't be the oldest student there.) The program offers direction on how to defend the Christian faith. I'll be taking biblical history classes, perhaps an archaeology class, and definitely a bunch of philosophy-type courses. The latter will address such scintillating questions as, "If God is real and is good, why does evil exist?" I'm tremendously excited, and will keep you posted on the cool stuff I learn.

I haven't forgotten about H-n-T; in fact, I have notes on about 10 topics I'm itching to write just for this blog. In a couple days, I'll post the link to my latest Today's Christian Woman entry. In it, several friends offer responses to this question: "What do you find most problematic or annoying about today's Christian church?" You won't wanna miss it.

Until then, above is a link to fabulous piece about anger. I'm posting it, ironically, in the spirit of Thanksgiving. First, I'm learning I can't be grateful when I'm feeling entitled to anger. And second, I'm personally thankful for all the good words God has given to others that help me learn and grow. Thank you, God, for all the good words in my life!

Blessings,

A Halloween-Loving Christian?

2007-10-24T11:50:00.000-07:00

Holly's latest blog entry on Today's Christian Woman magazine's website is now up:

A Halloween-Loving Christian?
Maybe it’s OK for me to enjoy this controversial holiday.

To ponder:
1) Do you engage in any Halloween-related activities? What are your reasons for participating or passing?

2) Think about your favorite non-church entertainment: maybe it’s pop music, romantic movies, social dancing, or even Halloween. What are some of the "yucky candies" that come along with this treat? Pray for discernment: Ask God whether he will remove the bad candy or give you an alternative. Or, perhaps he’s leading you away from this thing. Be honest in telling God the aspects you love, and the ones that are spoiling it for you.

H-n-T

Helpful Bible Reading Resource

"I Believe: What Every Kid Needs to Know About the Christian Faith"

Encouraging Words from God's Word: 1 Cor. 15:58

REVIEW: Take a Pass on "The Daniel Fast"

"How to Read the Bible" on BuildingChurchLeaders.com

Are We Gossip Girls?

Evidence for the Resurrection (in brief)

Response to "A Defense of Abortion"

Downtime

Youth Survey: Win a Book!

Strictly for the Hard Core: What Happens When We Die?

Holly's Complete TCW Posts Now Online

FREE Advent Audio Devotionals

Who Am I? I Forgot ...

The Power of Positive Spanking

Too Sexy for Church?

A Christian Sense of Humor

Ultimatum to the GOP

A Time to Mourn

A Church Without Issues

Journey from Fear to Faith: Christina DiMari profile

Republicans Need to Support President Obama

Watch Your Language!

Q&A: Why Set Spiritual Goals? Isn't Submission Enough?

Making (and Sticking to) Spiritual Goals

Q&A: Why are Christians fired up about gay marriage, but not divorce?

Tossing Church Loyalty Aside Like Toilet Paper?

H-n-T Celebrates Three Years of Blogging

Offering My Best: H-n-T’s Pick of 2008

H-n-T's Pick of 2008: "Questioning God"

Ways to Give Charitably, Without Spending a Dime

Strictly for the Hard Core: "The Mosaic Law, Today"

The Bible on Homosexuality

Taking a Stand for Marriage

Evidence for Jesus, Son of God: Response to Arah

No 'Secret': We Suffer for God’s Purposes

More Questions on 'The Secret'

Who’s Got an Important Job?

Is Prop. 8 About Rights?

Prop. 8: Thoughts from Joe and Response from Holly

Holly's Thoughts on Proposition 8 (THIS POST TEMPORARILY NOT AVAILABLE)

Conversation or Confrontation? Thoughts on Bill Maher's "Religulous"

10 Commandments of Blogging

Picking the President

Thoughts for a Teen on Taking Grace for Granted

Praying for Terrorists: My Jonah Moment

"Be" Like Jesus? How Do I "Do" That?

It's No "Secret": We Don't Always Know What We Want

The Meme Challenge, Day Two: Being a Representative of Christ

The Meme Challenge, Day One: Why Does God Allow Suffering?

Tag, I'm "It"

Wearing Faith on Our Sleeves

Is It Wrong for Abused Spouses to Divorce?

Thoughts on Same-Sex Marriage & Homosexuality

Authentic (I think) Chile Verde

Strictly for the Hard Core: "Radical Obedience"

Questioning God

Mystery Grab Bag

Vatican Welcomes ET Into the Fold

What Would Jesus Donate?

Straight Talk About Money

Making Fun of Christians

Am I Good Enough for God's Purposes?

Please Pray ...

What Ever Happened to Community News?

Hindu Leaders Take Issue with Christianized Yoga

R U Down? Getting Our Groove On for Sudan

A Partnership Made in Heaven?

What's Your Evidence for the Existence of God?

Real-Life Bible Lesson Reveals Real Treasure

What's Your Favorite Easter Candy?

Your First (and Last) Chance for an Early Easter

Holly Turns 34; Oh, Happy Day!

Christians Behaving Badly

North Korea Named No. 1 Persecutor of Christians

Find the Presidential Candidate of Your Dreams

Election 2008: More Than One Christian Candidate

Misplaced Faith: Christians & the 2008 Presidential Election

Real Church Hurts